thought.

Hi,
This is my only post.
To anyone who is reading, I hope you are alright.
I am a fellow 'developer' like you guys,... no probably I am not. Consider me just a guy. I am here only to tell my story, and I do not intend to motivate anyone with this cause it's not.
From high school, I only wanted to become a 'Software Engineer'. I got into grad school, got a Bachelor's in Computers and went on to get my Master's. I may consider myself decent at Programming. I couldn't get a job during my degree completion. I worked hard for three months, then got placed as a Backend Engineer at a Startup. I was happy that I became what I wanted for so long.
Six months later, I suddenly got laid off from the company one day. That was six months ago, almost seven months. I worked to get a new job just a week after getting laid off. I gave interviews, but no one hired me. I would mail recruiters 8-9 times for feedback on why I wasn't moving forward. I got ghosted many, many times. I thought I wasn't prepared enough. I worked even harder, but programming on leetcode' isn't a job. People suggested me to work on my development skills. I got a course on Spring Boot, thinking I would learn new things from it and, if lucky, would get a job out of it. But I was so wrong; I never got an interview; I waited, prepared, only to get ghosted. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I thought that doing projects would make me a good engineer. I could only create a calculator and couldn't think of a project I could start next. People junior to me got jobs at the position where I got ghosted.
I have never been more sad and hopeless for the future. Why would anyone hire a developer with a depression and anxiety disorder?
I complete my rant. Sitting on a chair, having tears, thinking I had let down anyone who believed in me.
I only hope and pray to god for anyone who reads this that you get to be a better developer.. no better person than me.
I assure you, I am not taking any tragic steps. I have thought of quitting and going back, but I do not have anywhere to go back to.
I just wanted a simple life; never in my dreams could I have thought of all this happening to me.

• Thanks for reading.

Please ignore my bad English writing skills. I am not in a state of using proper words or punctuation.
I might come back to this post someday. But not now.