When I was a youngin', there was a site called icanhas.cheezeburger.com...
I have been eyeing the mocha/chai/expect framework just for the sake of...
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Note; This is play-code. Not to be used in production. This particular code for instance uses a singleton pattern which means that you will spill values from one usage to the next. To get rid of that you need to implement the class-pattern where you new-up your own instance and dont get spilled data.
For the sake of brevity, here's a class-style variation
Now if you still want to hide the new-ing up of an instance, you can wrap it.
If you name your IIFE class to something like "myutil" and then make the global function "I" return a new instance of myutil using the same provided parameters as the function accepts.