Content warnings for bullying, abuse, trans-misogyny, the general state of horibbleness in tech. If any of these things are squicky for you, I abso...
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Thank you for sharing these words here, @penelope_zone . It feels like an incredible privilege to read a bit of your personal account as a trans woman in tech.
I'm definitely taking some time to pause today to think about what's needed from me, as a cis-woman, to make this industry more comfortable for trans and non-binary people. ❤️
Really appreciate you sharing this super thoughtful article, Penelope!
I can only imagine how hurtful it is to feel stuck between being true to yourself and being able to communicate effectively at your job. That's a choice no one should have to make.
I'm hopeful that the tech community will be more proactive in changing our tone from "dudespeak" where white cis-males dominate the conversation to "everyonespeak" where folks think more empathetically about sharing the conversation with all and actively encourage diverse voices to join in.
Thanks for sharing your experience. You put words to a feeling that I'm sure is familiar to many. I can totally relate to having to choose between being effective at your job and being true to yourself. It breaks my heart that this where we are as an industry. I hope we it changes.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience with the matter. I was wondering what are some things "dudes" can do in their day to day to make things more accommodating? I understand there's the need for some general awareness of not interrupting and giving others the chance to speak. Would asking someone who is not speaking for their thoughts a good idea? Is it heavily case by case? Smaller meeting sizes so that there isn't as much of a gender dominance?
Wow wow wow. I finally got around to reading this. TBH I was avoiding it because it would be so close to home, but this describes the burnout I feel every Saturday morning so clearly. I hadn't made the connection between choosing to be less effective at my job and making dysphoria inherit to the work I do. Uff...Thank you for this!
And it all maps up to how we build interfaces and collect data. "Tech" is "tech" as we know it because of the culture. Computer science is basically a specialized social science or applied anthropology.
Thank you for your voice.
Wow, thank you Penelope!
"Not actually being a man meant that when I thought I was one, all I could really do is copy what other cis men do, but not having the best basis for it, it was a warped copy."
I feel that really likely describes what so many male-assigned people are doing in our culture. And that actually gives me something I've been looking for, a way to empathize with toxic masculinity that I have all of my life. So many are just doing that. How many times have I had my "man card" taken away? Too many to count. For my life, I fought it and never wanted to be a part of it. I really appreciate you sharing these parts of your life and the depth of your self-reflection. They are truly helpful and opening for me.
thank you for this! you so succinctly expressed that very specific kind of coded language in cis man world that i've been trying to untangle in my own team.
Deep thanks to you for sharing your story. ❤️ As a (somewhat) cis-passing woman, I’ve always been critical of the tech world’s existence in and as a product of the dominant, “gender-sexuality order”. I find tech “bro-culture” deeply harmful to already marginalized voices and people within the tech industry.This is heart-breaking, and I can’t imagine how much more it must feel to you. I’m definitely going to think about how I can use my academic background in gender and sexuality, equity, and health to make tech spaces more equitable, safe, welcoming, and validating ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. It is really inspiring.
Hello Penelope. Thank you for sharing your experience being a trans woman in tech. I'm a cis woman who came to IT as a third career. And I certainly understand how difficult it is to be a woman - indeed an older woman - in tech. I have had friendships/non-friendships with only two trans women, and I'm not going to generalize. My observation: as "men" they progressed very well in their careers - one was a Java developer, who looked down on anyone who were in lesser tech positions - I was a mere front-end developer. She never let in different ideas from minions like myself. I was jealous, I guess, as she got as far as she did because she had a male tech experience, a wife who did the domestic stuff allowing him/her time to code, 2 loving daughters, a big house in a trendy location, and a grossly huge salary. I was pleased to see the back of her when she left the organisation, but my career nose-dived, largely due to the influence she had on the decision makers. It's only thanks to my union and some serious grievances that I recovered and can retire this year with a fairly decent final-salary-based pension. All the best, Stephanie