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Stacy Cashmore
Speaker & Tech Explorer DevOps @Omniplan. Developing in mainly in Angular and WebAPI. Loves learning, reading, music, cars and my family (not in that order!). MVP Developer Technologies
・2 min read

I know that you are not supposed to, but I struggle with feedback.

I have a few issues: Anxiety Syndrome, Depressive Mood Syndrome and PTSD. And they all make feedback - that is meant to help me improve - quickly trigger me to assume the worst about myself and makes me just want to run away and hide.

And knowing that this isn't healthy, and that people are trying to help me by giving feedback, doesn't help...

This also has a side effect that I find even worse.

I'm also terrified of giving it to other people.

You see, I know how it makes me feel. So how can I possibly do that to another person?

Last week, a good friend of mine asked for feedback for something she had written - and of course I was going to help her, it's what friends do.

So I sat down and wrote the best feedback I could. Being picky in places, giving suggestions where I thought, and, of course, including compliments where I thought something was fantastic.

And I felt truly awful whilst writing it - well aside from the compliments. It felt like I was being the meanest person and the worst friend in the world saying what I was saying.

But she was really happy with the feedback I gave. It helped her. And hopefully by doing this I also get to help me.

Feedback is so important. Both receiving it to allow ourselves to improve, and giving it to allow others to improve themselves too.

And I'm really thankful that I got the chance to do that (and also ask for feedback at the same time on something else) in a safe way.

Keep practicing!

Cover image by Official on Unsplash

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