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Discussion on: What are the unwritten rules of development?

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Mark Otway

Sorry, but "why" is not an aggressive word. Asking somebody why they did something is no more aggressive than asking what their intent was.

If "why" is coming across as aggressive in a code review, then it's because your overall code review experience is too adversarial, and needs to be reoriented to be more about achieving quality code, and less about blaming people for mistakes.