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In this post, I'll try to break down an example described in the book "The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business" by Erin Meyer.
The author begins her book with a situation that we face almost every day.
She had to prepare a senior executive from a major automotive company for cultural adaptation before his upcoming relocation to Wuhan, China, for work. To do this, she arranged for a Chinese cultural expert, Bo Chen, to help her. His task was to prepare practical examples for each cultural aspect she covered in her presentation.
And so, throughout the entire session, which lasted three hours, Chen remained silent and sat almost motionless until the very end of the presentation.
Erin hesitated to interrupt him because he wasn't saying anything, and she assumed he simply hadn't prepared any examples. So she kept talking, trying to avoid long, awkward silences during the conversation.
At the very end, the author finally decided to take a risk and directly asked Chen whether he had anything to add. "Thank you, Erin," he replied. "I do."
And to her incredible relief, he began giving one clear, relevant, fascinating example after another.
Chen's explanation of his behavior was quite revealing:
"You Westerners speak almost at the same time during meetings. I was waiting for Erin to stop talking long enough for me to join in, but that never happened. We Chinese often think Americans are poor listeners because they constantly interrupt one another to express their own opinions. I wanted to speak when there was an appropriate pause. But Erin kept talking, and I patiently waited.
My mother's words have always stayed with me: 'You have two eyes, two ears, but only one mouth. You should use them accordingly.'"
What does this situation between Erin and Bo tell us?
If you work with someone in a pair or in a group - always, always talk through the important things.
Make sure everyone understands each other in the same way.
You might think that everyone already understands everything. And you'll be right.
Everyone understands everything - but in their own way, from their own perspective.
So, once again - don't be afraid of seeming tactless, annoying, or feeling embarrassed.
Talk everything through in advance.
Make sure everyone is on the same wavelength.
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