Do you recall when "going to work" literally involved getting out of the house? Yeah, me too. Now, the drive may be only from the bedroom to the kitchen table. While the benefits are legitimate (say goodbye to traffic jams!), this gigantic change has created a whole new dynamic in our relationships. Living in the same space 24/7, balancing work calls with laundry duties, attempting to locate 'me time' when you're never really by yourself. it's a lot!
But here's the truth: remote work can be amazing for your relationship. It just takes a little more mindful effort than we may be accustomed to. If you find that you and your partner are more like roommates who pass each other in the hallway than intimate partners, you're not alone. Let's do something about it. Here are five simple strategies to help you reengage and maintain a strong relationship while living the WFH lifestyle.
1. Establish Your (Work) Boundaries, Together
It sounds easy, but it's essential. When your home and office are the same place, the distinction between "work time" and "personal time" can become extremely blurred, resulting in resentment or feeling as though you're constantly 'on'.
Create Workspaces: If you can, have distinct workspaces, even if it's simply different parts of the same room. This sets up a physical boundary. When you're "at your desk," you're working.
Clock In, Clock Out (Mentally Too!): Attempt to maintain somewhat regular work hours. More crucially, develop rituals to mark the end of work – closing the laptop hard, changing clothes, taking a walk. Inform your partner when you're truly "off duty."
Communicate Availability: Need uninterrupted focus time? Let your partner know. Maybe it's a closed door policy during certain hours or a simple "Hey, I've got a big deadline, can we chat after 3 PM?". Discuss these expectations openly so no one feels ignored or constantly interrupted. It's about respecting both your work needs and your relationship needs.
2. Schedule Quality 'Non-Work' Time (Seriously, Put it on the Calendar!)
This is the irony: you could be spending more bodily time together than ever, but how much of it is quality time? Slumped over phones side-by-side on the couch doesn't exactly count. Like you calendar work meetings, you need to plan connection time in advance.
Date Nights In (or Out!): Take one night a week (whatever frequency you prefer) for a real date. Cook together, order takeout and watch a movie with laptops out of sight, play a board game. Make it nice.
Lunch Breaks Together: Can you coordinate your lunch breaks occasionally? Even 20 minutes eating together and not discussing work can count.
Screen-Free Zones/Times: Perhaps the bedroom is laptop-free, or maybe even evenings after 8 PM are screen-free for connection time. Determine what will work for the two of you. The trick is to prioritize connection, not make it an afterthought.
3. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate (About Everything!)
You'd expect staying in the same house all day to translate into more communication, but what it usually translates into is more assumptions. We assume our partner gets that we're stressed because they can see us typing furiously, or that they get why we're short-tempered. Spoiler: they probably don't unless you inform them!
Discuss Work Stress (Briefly!): Sharing work frustrations is fine, but perhaps set a timer or commit not to let it take over the whole evening conversation.
Divide and Conquer (Fairly): Household chores and mental load must be discussed, particularly now. Who's doing what? Does the division feel equal? Resentment grows rapidly here.
Say What You Need: Need 15 minutes of quiet time after a difficult call? Say it! Feeling swamped by the lack of division? Share that too. Open, honest communication stops little frustrations from building into big ones. Daily check-ins ("How are we actually doing with this whole arrangement?") can be a godsend.
4. Honor the Need for 'Me Time' (Even Under the Same Roof)
Wait, didn't we just discuss spending more quality time together? Yes, but this is equally important. Regardless of the love you have for someone, everyone requires space to unwind, engage in solo activities, and just be alone at times. Being together all the time can mean feeling smothered.
Normalize Alone Time: Ensure that needing space is not interpreted as rejection. It's a matter of individual health, which by extension supports the relationship.
Support Individual Hobbies: Encourage each other to engage in activities you enjoy separately, whether it's reading, exercising, gaming, virtual hangouts with friends, or just zoning out to music with headphones on.
Respect Closed Doors (Literally & Figuratively): If your partner needs some solo time in another room, respect that space. Don't take it personally. Everyone recharges differently.
5. Keep the Fun & Novelty Alive
Let's be real, the WFH cycle can become stale. Same four walls, same schedule. it's simple for the excitement to dampen somewhat. Deliberately infusing playfulness and novelty is essential in order to keep the partnership lively.
Break the Routine: Order from a different restaurant, cook a new recipe, breakfast for dinner, rearrange furniture (okay, maybe consult on that last one first!).
Plan Things to Anticipate: Even if it's only a weekend hike, planning a future trip (even hypothetically!), or a special Sunday brunch, having shared things to look forward to shatters the drudgery.
Small Surprises:Take home their favorite coffee, leave a sweet note, start an impromptu dance party in the kitchen. Little things are big. Learn ways to laugh together and develop new, positive shared experiences in your present reality.
Final Thoughts
Strengthening your relationship while working from home isn't rocket science, but it does require conscious effort and a willingness to adjust. It's about communicating openly, respecting boundaries (work and personal), finding time for connection and separation, and remembering to have fun together in the midst of the daily grind.
You've got this! By putting even a few of these tactics into practice, you can take the difficulties of remote work and turn them into a chance to create an even stronger, more resilient relationship.
What are your favorite strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship while working remotely? Share your tips in the comments below!
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