Listen to Understand, Not to Reply

Watch yourself in the next hard conversation.

While they're still talking,
part of you is already loading your response.

That's not listening.
That's waiting for your turn.

And people feel it.
They can tell when you're hearing them
versus when you're just holding
until the gap where you get to speak.

Try the harder thing.
Listen with no answer ready.
Let there be a small silence
where you actually think about what they said.

Ask one more question
before you make your point.

You'll be amazed what people tell you
when they realize you're really there.

Being understood starts
with making someone else feel it first.

– Asael Shinder