Disclaimer
The following blog was written on 1st October 2024.
With a miserable heart I am writing this blog today. I might not even post it anytime. However, I guess expressing my feelings through writing might help me calm down.
Hello I am Dev. I recently graduated from Seneca with an Advanced Diploma in Computer Programming and Analysis. Besides having a diploma, I also have 8 months of co-op experience, 3-4 months of volunteering experience, 2 months of freelancing experience and currently this is the 10th month working as a Research Assistant. These are all the experience working on a Software Development project and apart from doing all the survival jobs.
I started applying for jobs since Feb/March. However, I have not got anything. I dont mean to have ego; but I believe not everyone graduates with the length as well as variety of experience which I have. I could have just avoided the volunteering or freelancing work if I wanted to. There was no significant financial benefit involved based on the work and hours which I kept in. But I still chose to work because I genuinely wanted to. With all these experiences, I believe that I have good enough skills to start working as a Developer. This is the last month of my contract and after then I dont know what am I going to do. How am I planning to earn money.
Frankly, I have almost nothing in my account at the moment. Not that I have not saved while I was earning; but I have also paid 50% of my tuition fees by myself which sums up to almost CAD 25,000. Additionally, I have been living on my own for almost 3 years by now and I never ever asked my family for any financial help apart from some food which they send me and that too only if anyone is coming from India to Canada.
Coming back to the topic, this blog is not to get any kind of sympathy. If I get nothing, the only option which I have is to go back to working survival jobs and since I am being honest in this blog, I literally hate it. No offence to anyone working at survival jobs because of course someone has to do it. But I think if I have to do survival jobs, that would be waste of my skills and a human resource. I love Tim Hortons but I dont want to work there to server others coffee. I am not made for that thing. And again, I know that I dont want to do survival jobs because I have done survival jobs for 2 years and 8 months to be specific, including working at Tim Hortons for 10 months. It would be a curse on me if I had to go back and do survival jobs.
My duty is to develop software and as I can call it, my dharma is to develop software for now and not serving food. I want to believe in the famous Bhagwat Geeta quote, धर्मो रक्षति रक्षितः which means if you protect your dharma, your dharma will protect you.
Moving forward, I also got rejections for a few entry level positions. I took it personally and got offended that do these companies think I am not good enough for their entry level jobs? Again not being egoistic but I bet not most of the graduates have experience as I do. I do not know what should I do!
I shall have no self respect if I push myself to do survival job. I dont want to say this but I will still say this. Again no offence to others. But for me personally, if I do survival job again, it shall be equivalent to suicide. Not that I will, but both would be the same for me if I go back. I understand that men should adapt as per the situation and not everyone gets what they want, but I want my self respect.
I shall protect my careers and my career shall protect me. I did write some harsh things. I am feeling a bit relieved but still miserable. A bit less than when I started writing this. Thanks for reading this.
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