Let's be fair. The title of this post is confusing at first, but once you read it in full, I hope you will understand why. Do let me know if otherw...
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Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's great to see that you're not only learning and growing yourself, but also helping others along the way. Good luck on your journey! 👍
Thanks and I appreciate the comment! I am slowly reading everyone's comment and notice there are more than 40+ comments that I need to reply 😭
Also, I sent you an invite to join the DEVenger org a while back if you have not seen it yet!
Wow! Those 40+ messages prove how much you are needed and loved by the community! 😄
Thank you for inviting me to DEVenger! However, I haven't received the invitation yet. 🤔
I sent the invite. It should be in your email!
Thank you! I accepted the invitation! 🤝
It gets better, Francis. Don't lose hope. I was in a similar situation during my second year of BE. It'll get better once you find an internship, which I'm p sure you will. Just find what you're really interested in doing and stay consistent with it.
Sending you virtual hugs <3
Thanks Athreya. It's just a depressing week for me. Not really burnt out in a way, but just reflecting too hard lol.
I appreciate the support :D
Hm, I had to read this post a few times because it sounded really sad to me and I hope I understood it correctly.
But maybe you should look at it from a different perspective. You mentioned only two accomplishments in six months, I just checked your profile and it looks like we joined the DEV community around the same time.
Honestly, I was surprised, because I thought you had been part of the community for much longer. From my point of view, you have done a lot. You earned many badges really fast and became a known part of the community in just six months.
Second, don’t tell me that with all the challenges you participate in, you don’t learn a lot. 😄 And you even won one!
Third, I just checked the ClassifierAI project on GitHub and it already has 10 stars in such a short time. That is actually a good achievement. My first 10 stars on GitHub took months, maybe even a year. 😅
So you see two achievements, but I see at least five and I don’t even know everything you have done.
Honestly, if you are still studying, that is a LOT of work in just six months.
Hey Daniel. Sorry for the late reply. Having the time to read each one and reflecting each one slowly (Gonna take a long time haha).
I do agree I have gaining badges (a LOT) in a short time, it just feels shallow because I believe recruiters would not care about the badges. They care about work, which I have but feels like it's not enough for this market.
The one I won was the writing challenge. If I were to win the project, it would made sense, which is why I was feeling disappointing.
This one I do agree with. Maybe I should look at this as an achievement!!
Thanks for the comment Daniel! I know we have slightly different opinions in AI and stuff and I hope I am not causing you any trouble!
Yeah, it looks like you have a lot of work to do over the next few days. 😄 But this actually shows that the DEV community cares.
I don’t know if recruiters check DEV profiles or not, but a lot of badges still look impressive. And whether it was a writing challenge or a coding challenge, a win is still a win and I think it means something.
I also think you are being too hard on yourself. Job hunting is stressful, and the current market is tough, especially for juniors or less experienced devs. But from my point of view, you will be okay. You are preparing yourself and not just waiting for things to happen.
And having different opinions does not mean we can’t have meaningful discussions or support each other.
P.S. You don’t have to answer this one. 😄
Sounds good. Thanks again Daniel!
P.S I did answer it lol
Francis .This took courage to post.
The gap between what you give and what comes back is real and it's exhausting. But the person who flagged my essays because he knew me and flagged me anyway .
That's not someone who doesn't care. That's someone with standards. That counts for more than most people's encouragement.
You're not behind. You're just measuring yourself against the wrong timeline.
Hey Daniel. Sorry for the late reply. I believe it's best for me to take time and read thoroughly for each comment and respond accordingly. That way, it would not feel generic.
The standards part is interesting. It's hard to find people having standards to things they believe in. I used to be the people who says Yes to things even though deep down, I wanted to say No.
I think it is important and I am glad I was able to speak confidently about the topic of AI and this post in particular. Glad dev.to is a welcoming community after all!
I hope I did not disturb you on the Sloan messages recently.
No disturbance and I mean that. The flags were frustrating in the moment but the way you handled everything publicly, the transparency about your process, the willingness to dig into the technical side of it today . that's the kind of engagement that makes a community worth being part of. Standards are rare. Yours were visible throughout.
Take your time with the replies. The thread isn't going anywhere.
I totally understand you, it's like your mind is telling you "Am I missing on something?"
... + Beware of the "Imposter Syndrome",
Exactly..
Francis, I know it's easy for me to say this from the outside, but reading this, I think you're being much harder on yourself than you should be.
You joined DEV at the beginning of the year and when I look at everything you've done since then, I see a lot of progress. Open source contributions, projects, networking, growing your presence in the community, becoming a moderator, collaborating with other people... that's a lot more than "just updating a resume and portfolio."
I can relate to that feeling of looking at what you've done and immediately thinking you should have done it sooner or done more. But progress is still progress, even when it doesn't feel as big as we expected.
For what it's worth, I don't think you're "just another statistic on DEV." You were one of the first people to welcome me when I came back to DEV, and I still remember that. I think you've had a bigger impact on people here than you give yourself credit for.
Hey Hemapriya. Thanks for your encouragements. Going down the comments slowly so I do apologizes for the late reply.
I believe this is one of the hardest part for me. I do agree progress is progress but I feel like I am not doing it fast enough to get to the place I needed to be. It also factors in comparing myself to others as well since I wasn't get recognized for my work in real life. I was more of a person who just does things and most people are not interested in it.
I am honored..actually. I am glad I made you feel welcomed. Just a lost of words lol. But I do appreciate it!
I made a schedule to coffee chat next week btw! We can talk more about this or anything you are curious about!
I know it's easier for me to say from the outside, but I really do believe you're making more progress than you give yourself credit for. Sometimes we're just much harder on ourselves than we'd ever be on someone else.
And I'm really glad to hear that. You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome when I came back to DEV, so I wanted to make sure you knew that it made a difference.
Looking forward to the coffee chat next week! It'll be great to catch up and chat about all of this (and probably a bunch of other random topics too 😄).
I think many of us needed this reminder
Wishing you all the best Francis ❤️
Thanks Usman! ❤️
Francis,
From what I have gathered, if you have found yourself in the pit of despair, it means that the only place left to go is up.
I sympathize with you on your feelings. I know that the barriers to entry are tough, and that it may feel like sometimes you have been 'used'.
Let me reframe this. All of those connections you make, all of those people you help, they are your future references that can speak on your behalf, of the excellent time and work you did - even if it was for free.
Remember that there is value in experience, connections, and even things that feel like failures. We learn, we adjust our stance, and go forward. Keep an open mind and dont give up. ✨️
Hey Anna. Thanks for the comment and the support!
I didn't really think this through because I was thinking at a surface level. The more I thought about this, the more it becomes true. There are cases where people mentioned me in a positive way on DEV and I feel like I made some influence in the community. I think I was selfish to be honest. I should be thinking about the positives, small wins, and keep going.
Sorry if I made you unconformable when talking about my stance on AI and other things. I am really a self aware person and I don't want others to feel like they do not belong here.
Not at all. I think those of us that share our opinion can represent the way many others may feel but do not want to share. Sharing invites in new perspectives and growth. In this context, never something to apologize for. Everyone is entitled to have feelings and opinions. You seemed like you could use reminder that we are here for each other! We all have different skills and knowledge bases. Together we are stronger, prickly and imperfect parts included, as everyone is a work in progress. ✨️🦚
This hit harder than I expected.
One thing that stood out to me is that every accomplishment you listed immediately got followed by a reason it "doesn't count." Moderator? Just a moderator. Open source? Should've done it earlier. Projects? AI helped. Networking? Should've happened faster.
At some point, it becomes impossible to feel progress because the goalposts keep moving. And to some extent that's part of growth. The more you achieve, the more you realize what's still left to learn. But that doesn't mean the progress you've already made stops being real. Learn to be proud of what you've accomplished while still leaving room to keep growing.
For what it's worth, I probably started being regular on DEV after you did, and from my perspective you've become one of the people most associated with the community in a very short amount of time. That's not something that happens accidentally.
I also don't think people are gatekeeping as much as they're often giving advice from their own blind spots. I've noticed that many people only point out what they happen to notice at that moment, which can make feedback feel incomplete or inconsistent.
The line that stuck with me was "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess."
Ironically, I think a lot of people who help others end up feeling that way sometimes. They're close enough to see everyone else's progress, but too close to their own journey to recognize it. And that's okay.
I don't know if that fixes the feeling, but I don't think you're nearly as far behind as your reflection is telling you.
Hey Aryan. Hope you are well. As I mention to everyone here, I am taking response slowly in order for me to respond accordingly. My apologies!
Oh for sure. I remember starting off on dev.to where my goal was to become a Full Stack Dev. Now, it branches out into multiple quests that I did not anticipated. I am grateful to see those quests, but having to accomplish many of them feels tiresome.
Achieving in a short amount of time is my expertise. I am starting to realized that recently. For example, I am able to pick up the skills in a video game in a short amount of time or finding ways to achieve a goal in a small amount of time.
It comes with drawbacks, people will look negative to me because of the skill I have, which leads to me feeling not included and people expecting too much from me. It's never a "good Job Francis" and it's more of "oh Francis, do better". For example, I remember playing smash bros and I got second. Everyone around me says "OH FRANCIS LOST???", but when someone got second place, they say "good job man!".
This always feel inconsistent to me. In my personal experience, feedback was given to me that I already knew. I was hoping to get feedback on something I DIDN'T know.
For example, my professor reviewed my resume at one point and she mention that "Don't add individual soft skills in the skills section. The soft skills are implied that you did them in your experience". This was NEW to me, which it is a great thing to point out. I always think that there has to be a secret formula to get jobs for people who has no experience...
I remember a time where I told me friend to present his project and gave him a nudge to showcase it. The outcome is that everyone was amaze of his work. The downside is that not a lot of people recognize mine...It hurts but also glad my friend present his work. This is where the "sacrifice" came from since I believe I can show others the way, but no one will know it was me.
It gave me new insights to what you are viewing. I am glad you are here and support my journey along the way. I had a feeling that I should share this because I feel like I don't get recognize by my personal friends. This is why the title of the article is like that way because I feel behind, but I can't prove it because of my progress on DEV.
Thanks Aryan :)
Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful reply, Francis.
One thing that stood out to me was what you said about learning skills quickly. I can definitely see that from watching your journey on DEV. The downside, like you mentioned, is that people start treating your progress as the expectation instead of something worth celebrating. After a while, every achievement starts feeling like "that's just Francis."
But I'd still encourage you to celebrate those wins yourself. I didn't really have many supportive friends until last year either. Somehow, once I started changing my own perspective and putting myself around people who genuinely wanted to see each other grow, things slowly changed. Now I have friends who celebrate even the smallest wins, and somehow life keeps introducing me to more people like that whenever someone gets busy with their own path. I hope the same happens for you, because you deserve people who see your progress too.
I also really liked your resume example. That's exactly the kind of feedback that actually helps, the kind that challenges an assumption you didn't even realize you had. Those moments are rare, but they're usually the ones that move us forward the most. And honestly, I don't think there's some secret formula that everyone else knows. You just keep doing good work, make smart decisions with good intentions, and eventually luck has a funny way of noticing. So don't stop now, not after everything you've already built.
And regarding helping your friend present his project... I get why that stayed with you. Sometimes we're naturally better at seeing potential in other people than in ourselves. Just don't let that become the story you tell yourself. Supporting others and being recognized yourself aren't mutually exclusive. Don't let yourself believe that this is your permanent role in life. You don't have to choose between being the person who supports others and being someone whose own work is recognized. You can be both.
And for what it's worth, you've got people here too. I'll definitely keep following your journey, and I'm sure plenty of others on DEV will as well.
Thanks again for sharing all of this. I'm really glad you wrote the post because I think a lot more people relate to these feelings than they'd ever admit.
Take it easy for a while pal... Take a break when you need to and come back stronger... You're doing great!!!
Quote:
"It made me realized that I have been helping others more than myself. I have been giving advice to people that is helpful on dev.to"
I would call that an achievement (or a "quality"), and an important one - so let that be your strength and your unique skill, maybe? One that you could even advertise to potential employers:
"I'm a team player, and I am able to make the whole team function better through my actions and my attitude"
Thanks Leob! I appreciate the support. Going through each comment slowly to take the time to read it through so I apologies for the late response. I will keep in mind of the quote you presented since it has given me a new perspective in a positive way. Thanks!
Brother, your post isn't just a thought—it’s a bleeding heart. When you wrote, 'I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess,' it felt like someone reached straight into my soul. The truth is, the very lamp that lights up everyone else's home always sits in its own deep shadow. You are not a fraud. You are the shield that is breaking itself just so others can stay safe. But right now, it’s not your time to guide others anymore; it is time to step into your own darkness and find that lost savior within yourself. You are not just a statistic on DEV.to—you are the backbone of this community. Pause if you must, but do not give up.😔
Hey! Thanks for the comment. It really means a lot when you say "You are not just a statistic on DEV.to—you are the backbone of this community. Pause if you must, but do not give up.😔".
Don't worry, I am here. It's just doing all the work on dev.to while there are silence around me. Feels empty and feels like showing this kind of work to my friends doesn't give any value...
Friends? is this college friends?
Mainly IRL friends sure
I have friends like that too, and they do the same kinds of things.
Why don't you believe in yourself? Look, even I hadn't told my friend earlier that I was going to make my career in tech. I also thought about what they might think, but when I told them, they supported me a lot. And even today, I share everything with them
"A thought from the Bhagavad Gita: 'Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana' — you have control over your actions, not over the recognition or results they bring. If your work is creating real value, its impact will reach people at the right time. Don't let your inner peace depend only on others' validation. Keep doing your work with sincerity
I could suggest a lot of things, especially since you're a developer/IT professional, but I'd rather suggest something different. Please, keep your mind open and know I'm really trying help: Consider seeing a psychiatrist and asking for a neuropsychological evaluation. I recently (less than one month) went through one myself, and the results were nothing like I expected.
I will not share the result here, because I don't want making this about me, but that assessment helped me understand years of struggles, behaviors, patterns, and even impostor syndrome in ways I never could before. I'm not a psychologist, so take this only as a personal suggestion. But before trying to change yourself, try to understand yourself first. A proper evaluation by specialists can explain a lot. I really also believe everyone should do it, at least on early teenager life (Imagine how beneficial it would be for children and adolescents to get to know themselves and then understand behaviors).
And please, don't self-diagnose based on LinkedIn or TikTok posts. If something is going on, qualified professionals will help you figure it out. I understand myself much better after going through this process. Trying help with a very little experience. Good luck!!
PS. Continue help others, never give up. We need more people like you.
Hey Rafael. Thanks for the support. I am taking my response slow so apologies for the late reply.
Yea no. My only valid social media is DEV and YouTube. Comparison is something I am working on and has been getting better. The problem is associating with people who share the same thing as me, which I am actively meeting new people like @codingwithjiro
I will don't worry! I will honor you to keep myself going and make DEV a great place for all :D
halfway through the year and somehow the list of things done is longer than ever but the feeling of being behind doesn't move. I think it's because progress and expectation run on completely different clocks.
Hey Mykola. Thanks for your comment. As mention to everyone else, I am taking my response slow, so I do apologies the late response.
It really does. I think of progress as my personal goals and expectation is what other expect of what I should become right now..
Thanks again!
the different clocks framing hits. progress compounds quietly - you usually can't feel it until you look back. expectations just reset every morning.
Francis — I wouldn't be here without that Q&A thread you did a few weeks ago. When my account was flagged and nobody told me why, you were the one who actually answered. That's not "just another statistic" — that's someone who made a difference for at least one person on this platform.
Do you believe in fate? Where I'm from, we believe that every person you meet — in real life or online, past, present, future — crosses your path for a reason. Connections form, and they can also fade. It's the nature of things.
Desire brings suffering. Let go, and you become unshakable.
Keep going. 👊
Hey xulingfeng! I appriciate your support! As I mention to everyone I am commenting, I am taking it slow to respond. I do apologies for the late response.
I do. I notice everytime I join a group or a community, there is always one person with me and supporting me to become who I am now, which is Richard for this context on dev.to. After some time, the person will leave, leaving a legacy that we all remember including myself. I am still honoring Richard's legacy by continuing to be here on dev.to and supporting whatever I can!
As someone whose been working their ass off, building incredible things, only to get 35 views and comments on my documentation, rather than anyone actually use it. Someone who literally fixed the biggest issue with C# for web. Someone who built a better browser agent by scales of magnitude. Built a company on the back of AI orchestration to create a software foundry that pumps out fully tested apps in minutes, not weeks. Someone who built a data-transfer protocol that's faster and more secure than anything on the planet...
You did more than I did.
Life isnt about fame, fortune, or even friends, it's about impact and you left an impact on every community member you interacted with. I wouldnt have took on the anti-bot project if you werent chatting about it in the comments of your post. Who knows, maybe it gets used and makes a difference? If it does, who gets the credit, me for creating it, Ben for integrating it, or you for acknowledging that it was a problem? Nobody does, because the people who use it, wont care who made it, who integrated it, or who suggested it. They just care that it works.
Life as a software engineer, is a life of doing the incredible and never getting recognized for it, that's a job for marketing... Steve Wozniak built what became Apple, yet he gets an engineer's salary, while being the father of modern computing. While Steve Jobs is halo'd as the saint who gave us the computer. You dont need recognition to make an impact, but recognition without impact is hollow.
Feel proud of your accomplishments, I know it's disheartening when it goes unrecognized, but it leaves an impact. And this isnt a pick-me-up, this is the life you choose as a software engineer. Nobody cares that an automated ERP system took you 6 years and over 600k LOC, they just care that they click a button and it works. You will go unnoticed and that's a good thing. Because your professional life is separate from your private life. We all struggle with finding the balance, managing life + work, especially if you're dedicated to 1 or the other. But that's part of life, finding your groove.
The year is half way in, if you want to feel productive, then be productive. Be active in the community as you are, contribute where you can, learn everything that you can, have fun while doing it and experiment, find out what works for you. Dont feel discouraged using AI 'too much', you dont learn how to butter bread by using your fingers, you use a knife, AI is your knife, now you need to learn how to butter the edges without making a mess, or leaving dry spots. The age of hardcore coding is over, when I was studying, we didnt have AI, we studied from stackoverflow and tried our best to filter out the nonsense. I am a better coder today with AI, than I was back then without it. Not just faster, but smarter, because when you review how the AI does things, you learn the more robust patterns. And if it's too slow, you ask 'cant we make it faster' and it gives you suggestion after suggestion and you learn in time that you spotted a bottleneck without knowing it, you just didnt know how to remedy it, which is why AI helps. Dont shy away from it, because in 2 years, if you arent a master of AI, you're out of a job.
I'd honestly suggest, you need projects. I work an 8-5 everyday, but I hate it. Doing the same thing as I do all day at my job, but on my own projects from 5-12 and weekends, energizes me, because it's something I made, for me, I choose what happens to it. Take V.A.L.I.D. for instance, I made it because I was sick and tired of CSLA, my boss loved CSLA, then hated it, in the meantime I made a better solution not for the sake of the job, but out of sheer frustration at the fact that I dont like CSLA and I needed something better, just for the sake of knowing a better way exists. I dont use V.A.L.I.D. in my job, I dont even think they know about it, but I dont need them to, I just made it for me. Same reason I started UnitBuilds, because I got tired of being locked in to doing it a certain way for my day-job. So I made my way, on my time. I learned so much and it has honestly been the most productive 2 months of my life. Not because I magically made a million dollars, but because I made things that took my frustration away.
So here's a project for you. I made MCP-Lite, same how Ben made Forem. Take MCP-Lite and a local tiny model (eg. Gemma nano) and turn it into a standalone browser agent. So you can ask it a question and it can just go and find it. You'll learn more from doing these kind of little side-projects than you ever would studying, or working a day-job. Because it forces you into the unknown, no scope, no briefing, just pure creativity. And I deeply encourage you to use AI to write ALL OF IT! Projects are meant to be fun and a learning experience, so sit back and let AI do the heavy lifting, your job is to not get frustrated and when you do, find a solution. Having a little chat-ai that can actually find you prices for flights directly from airliners, or notify you about events on any site, is something truly useful, that anyone can use. And you'll likely find that you can use it too.
This isnt just a fun and games project, this is something you'll put on your Git and it'll become part of your legacy, you'll look back over time and see the projects build up, yet that's a good thing, because each was a learning experience, that drove you to being a better programmer and trying out new things. (Like me trying out blocking bots, instead of bypassing the traps) It might not seem relevant in the moment, but the skills you learn today, pay dividends in 10 and you wont regret learning a single thing, because it made you grow and accomplish the incredible over time. Look at your friends group, how many of them have built an app? Like an actually useful app? Likely none, so what are you stressing about not accomplishing much? You have time, you have patience, have at it, cuz you wont regret it.
So chin up and good luck!
I really hope I didnt come across as pretentious, or up my own ... What I meant to say is, the definition of accomplishment is what you make of it. My goal at the start of the year was to be able to quit my day-job, spend more time with my fiance, sleep better and stress less. I havent achieved anything, infact, I'm deeper in the red than ever, working 108h a week, not earning a penny for anything past 40 (day job), I made things, but they're pointless to me, because they dont bring me any closer to my goals. Hell I even tried to get a different job, I even wrote a custom app for them, showing I can do the job better, yet not even a 'sorry we chose someone else'. As long as you fixate on a goal, you'll miss every other achievement you make along the way. Nobody has time or patience to stayed focused on becoming a millionaire as their goal? That's silly, instead that's the purpose, to which you set your goals, eg. finishing the app you're working on, launching a website, asking for feedback, all things that expand what you've done in life and maybe with time, you cross the threshold and realize you overshot the market by a mile in a good way? Motivation is a bittt, but you only need a little bit to make a difference. And every little bit counts (else you'd hit floating point errors).
You did more than I did, because where I made cool stuff nobody uses, you gave advice that pushed hundreds just like us forward. So do you want to ride on the carriage, or pull the cart? Because it may feel like you're pulling everyone's carts, but you're sitting in the carriage, giving direction, which has greater impact. You've found your niche in the community, by being the friendly mod that's always willing to answer. That's amazing! So why not lean into it? You could always make an 'ask a friend' app, where people just write their problems and people answer them? And you'll probably be the first to answer for the first month, but after that, someone else just like you will show up and beat you to it. That's the point you do for someone, what dev.to did for you. Inspiration to be helpful.
Hey Unit. Giving a bit of time to come back here to make me feel better. Apologies for the late response.
I read the whole thing btw and it made sense to me. I appriciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts.
The best summary is your wagon analogy where you stated
I am really grateful that all my life, I never drift my heart away, which is helping others. I wish to find the balance for myself. I will continue to do so...
Francis, thank you for being honest enough to write this — it takes a lot to put something this raw out there publicly. 😊
The line "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess" really stayed with me. But I'd gently push back on the framing: the fact that you can guide others means the knowledge is already there. Applying it to yourself is just harder emotionally — that's not fraud, that's being human.
The comparison trap is real too. You're not measuring what you did against what you actually started with — you're measuring it against an imaginary version of yourself that had everything figured out from day one. That person doesn't exist for anyone.
From the outside, someone who joined DEV at the start of the year, became a moderator, contributed to open source, collaborated on projects, and built a presence in the community in six months — that's not "just networking and a resume update." That's a lot. The progress just doesn't always feel proportional to the effort when you're living inside it.
You're not behind. You're just in the hard middle part where the work is real but the results haven't shown up yet. That gap is temporary. 🌸
This resonated with me.
I'm not a maintainer or moderator, but I've felt something similar with open source. On paper I've had merged PRs, contributed to projects, and spent a lot of time understanding large codebases.
The strange part is that every achievement immediately gets discounted in my own head:
I've realized the goalpost keeps moving. What looked difficult six months ago starts feeling "normal" once you've done it.
One thing I disagree with is the idea that helping others means you're falling behind. Some of the most useful things I've learned came from reviewing issues, discussing designs, and helping contributors understand a codebase. The growth is less visible, but it's still real.
Thanks for sharing this. It was a good reminder that progress and the feeling of progress are often two different things.
Hi Francis. I’m new here, but your post really resonated with me.
It’s easy to look at progress in terms of visible milestones and miss everything that’s actually been built underneath.
One step at a time still counts as movement, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You’ve planted seeds , sometimes growth just isn’t visible yet.
You're giving yourself far less credit than you deserve. Growth often feels invisible when you're living through it. Becoming a moderator, contributing to open source, networking, and helping others are meaningful achievements. You're not behind—you've been building foundations. Don't measure progress only by outcomes; effort and consistency matter too.
We all have different pacing in life. I’m going to be honest, I also often feel that I’m left behind and that feeling sucks. Regrets of the past keeps me awake at night. I’m still haunted by it but I learned to just keep living one step at a time.
That will be the same for you, I know it. Everything will be fine. The fact that you are reflecting on this only means you care about your future. Take a breather, find things that you are grateful for and start from there. (I know it’s hard, but you got to get past that and only you stands in your way)
If you're cooked, then I'm burnt worse than charcoal 😂
b ru h
I can feel it, Francis. I used to be open to sharing my knowledge with people around, but there is nothing in return. I don't request a reward, but at least I need some recognition and respect. But people come and leave, they get what they want and no thanksful for that advice. Besides, I don't see any improvements when answering their questions, same as you. What I need to know is what I can search and investigate myself; asking people just slows my speed down.
I know I shouldn't be that kind of person because it's too selfish, but I don't want my energy wasted. After taking those realistic pains, I just share with people who truly need and who have knowledge to trade me back - at least it's fair to me. Up to now, I have only focused on myself, grab as much knowledge as possible. I become a villain naturally
In the end, I agree and support that we should contribute and share knowledge, and at the same time, the audience, please applaud and support the author/writer, because no one will share with you if we are all silent and apathetic
Francis, I can understand your pain, especially because people like you who help others a lot often end up feeling unseen themselves. I don’t mean this in a harsh way, but I want to share something that might help you in the long run.
Happiness and self-worth cannot come from outside. External recognition feels good, but it is unstable. If your value depends on who replies, who praises you, who notices your work, or who validates your progress, then your emotional state becomes fragile.
Attention is inconsistent. Recognition is inconsistent. People are inconsistent. So the happiness that comes from outside is always temporary.
Real stability comes from internal validation - from knowing your own worth first. Your life is yours, not others. You should be proud of your progress before anyone else is. Your value is not dependent on applause. Feeling this way is not arrogance; it is emotional maturity.
From what I see, you are not lacking achievements. You are lacking self-acceptance. And that is something you can build, slowly and gently, from within.
Thank you Sujala
I've never felt more relevant and irrelevant. Hang in there.
Thanks Jen and welcome back! Almost been a year for you since I see your activity was last year
I now relate 🤔
🤔
This really resonated with me. I've caught myself doing the same thing—looking at what I've accomplished and immediately thinking, "I should have done this sooner." Recently I deployed a backend project that took weeks of building and debugging, but instead of feeling proud, my first thought was that I was still behind. Reading this reminded me that progress doesn't stop being real just because it isn't where we hoped we'd be yet. Thanks for sharing something so honest.
Honestly this resonated deeply I felt the same until I realized most of the time people endeavor into their careers theres a blueprint to follow that allows you to see the progress an gauge how far you’ve came but in this new space where the abnormal has become normal there is no blueprint to measure against, you’re doing great I’ve enjoyed every article I’ve read from you. Thank you for sharing!
Just keep going....
Thanks
The "nobody cares about my accomplishments" part is the heaviest line in this post, and it's worth separating from the career anxiety. They're different problems. Career stuff has concrete next steps - apply, interview, iterate. Feeling unseen by friends and community is harder and won't be fixed by another open-source PR. Worth naming honestly rather than burying inside a productivity post.
I forgot to address the "nobody cares about my accomplishments".
To be fair, nobody cares about my accomplishments either. (At least unless its accomplishing things for them). A sober look at the effects of focusing on "I", tends to create these kinds of thoughts. (And the pain that comes with it).
NOTE: Turning 40 years old, done, alot of shit in my life so far. There is a reason why the book of Ecclesiastes exists.
How about having virtual coffee to talk about work possibility?
Hey Joanna. I am a contributor to Virtual Coffee and also a Writer there. It's a volunteer thing, but it's something I enjoy!
I can definitely relate @francistrdev , just keep doing what you love doing. Hang in there!
It both emotional and inspiring. 🙂
🙂
Reflecting on the last bit of the article here, and I guarantee a lot of folks, have felt the exact same feeling.
While it is easy to just give the answer away, I promise the only way, is to just associate yourself and or let people with the same interests come to you.
In the few years I’ve been an engineer, I found that it’s rare friends and family have the same understanding, even if they seem interested.
And would it been wrong to assume, that’s what’s causing it, the interest yet lack of understanding, cutting the conversation short?
You mean a lot to us - and your modesty is just empty words!! 💖💖💚
I appreciate it Ember!
One thing that jumped out at me is that you're measuring progress almost entirely by outcomes, not by leverage.
Becoming a moderator, contributing to open source, building projects, networking, helping people, growing a presence in the community... none of these directly get you a job offer. But they all increase the probability of future opportunities.
The hard part is that leverage compounds quietly.
A recruiter doesn't see the dozens of conversations that improved your communication skills.
A future referral doesn't show up the day you help someone.
A collaboration opportunity might come from a relationship you built months ago.
The resume story you shared is interesting too. I don't think people were necessarily gatekeeping. Most feedback is limited by the reviewer's knowledge and attention. That's why collecting feedback from multiple sources is often more valuable than looking for a single perfect mentor.
From the outside, it looks less like you're behind and more like you're in the accumulation phase. The frustrating thing about that phase is that the effort is visible every day, but the results often arrive much later.
Keep building. Some of the work you're discounting today may end up being the reason an opportunity appears tomorrow.
Francis, allow me to give my two cents to the discussion. Many of the comments here already expressed how we feel about your accomplishments. You've done a lot already.
I should not be the one giving the "diagnostic" but it looks like you're living to satisfy other people's perspective. Is so much common with social moradia nowadays that we feel that we've done a lot if people commend us on what we did. But that's not true. Many people are too busy trying to please other people that they forget to encourage others that are earlier in the process.
My recommendation is... document your small victories more, and read them from time to time. Maybe call it your happiness box. Also, always store proof of compliments you received, and also the context arround it.
We tend to forget the small things along the way, that we wouldn't be able to accomplish greater things were it not because of them.
Also, remember that accomplishments are more like those squared equations... they start slow and compound over time. Also, knowledge is more like "stairs" than a linear function. Some day it clicks and you can do so much more. Until some day it clicks again and you can do so much more than that.
Yep.... be happy where you are. The grass is greener on the other side, specially when its fake.
why are you so negative man. You did this much in last 6 months and here I am working on 1 thing and yet I haven't even seen the result yet. Actually it fires me up that even with such a mindset (of course it's just temporary , you are just overthinking it) how much you have accomplish.
You think people would ignore you, I thought you would be too busy.
well look I am just new here. I have no idea how to use this platform. I see post and stuff all technical stuff makes me feel I am too far behind everything look so professional here but see it's just matter of time. Learning this also will be accomplishment for me.
I know no one might read this either but expressing my view on this matter also teach me some valuable in a way i can not see. Don't just count what you make or built as an accomplishment. People you meet and help them is also accomplishment.
So... let this wave of sadness pass, and move forward once again.
Life has lots of ups and downs. It's all just chasing the wind anyways. It is nice, both mentally, and objectively to "make progress" in life, but its always ups and downs, and usually pretty personalized.
Having said that, there is a fundamental difference between mind, body and spirit. And how they interact, and who is in charge can have a meaningful difference in your lived experience. The mind (which does the thinking, the planning, the pondering), seems like it should be in charge but it shouldn't be. The same goes for the body. Usually what the want and desire is bad for them.
The typical cure for the mind being in charge, is doing things (physically), especially the things that you don't necessarily want to do. Cleaning your room/s. Exercising (which your body tells you it doesn't want, but loves after the fact). Taking care of some nagging issue like leaky pipes, building a shed [cough me].
Long story short, go do stuff. Get some momentum, then apply for jobs (or internships?). Figure out a way to optimize it so you can crank them out. If someone can help you you can split the job up and rock it. I have an assistant who was applying for 100 jobs a day for me recently. Had to get them to cool it because having 3 interviews a day for weeks can be brutal.
The company I work for just hired a person who is still in college. Did an internship. Showed up with a go-getter positive attitude. The CTO is obsessed with this guy. (The CTO is very new to tech and leading tech.. so we'll see)
That "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess" line hit different.
Honest take: the people closest to the struggle give the best advice. Not despite it because of it.
6 months, open source, moderator, real projects. From the outside that's not nothing. Keep going.
Hey Francis, I hear you, and honestly, thank you for being so incredibly real about this. It takes a ton of courage to put these feelings out there, especially on a platform where everyone usually just shares their highlight reels.
What you’re dealing with sounds like a massive mix of imposter syndrome and burnout, and it is completely exhausting. When you're stuck in that headspace, it’s so easy to minimize your own wins, but from the outside looking in, you’ve actually done some massive things over the last six months.
Here is a slightly different way to look at what's going on:
1. Being a DEV Mod is actually a huge deal
Platforms don't just hand out mod powers to anyone, especially if they think someone is "volatile." They gave you that role because your energetic, funny vibe actually connects with people, and they trust you. That proves you have leadership and communication skills that a lot of devs lack. That's a major green flag for future employers, not a "shallow" win.
2. The timeline trap
You feel like networking, open source, and fixing your resume should’ve taken less time. But breaking into open source and building a network aren't just checkboxes—they require a ton of mental energy and learning. You didn't waste six months; you built a foundation. Don't beat yourself up over the pace.
3. The AI "Fraud" feeling
So many developers are struggling with this right now. Using AI doesn't make you a fraud—it's the tool of the era. But if you feel like it's stunting your growth, try cutting back on it a bit. Use it to explain error messages, but force yourself to write the core logic. You'll probably feel a lot more ownership over your projects that way.
4. Bad feedback isn't always gatekeeping
I completely get why that resume critique felt gatekeeper-y and frustrating. But honestly? Most people are just really bad at giving feedback, or they only notice things once they see a visual change. It’s usually less about them trying to hold you back and more about them just being distracted or unhelpful. It sucks, and it feels lonely, but it’s a reflection of their lack of effort, not your worth.
You aren't just a statistic.
It’s incredibly draining to feel like the "guide who can't possess the treasure," but remember that you still have time before you graduate next year. You are doing the hard, messy groundwork right now.
If you can, take a little break from the platform this week. Stop giving advice, stop checking the numbers, and just protect your peace for a bit. You’ve poured a lot into others; it's okay to log off and pour back into yourself.
Your brain is being a bully to you right now, but you're doing much better than you think. Hang in there.
Aww this sounds a bit like a call for help. You're not alone Francis. You are young, you can look forward to knowing that for sure you won't always feel this way. I encourage you to maybe embark on a non-technical, personal and spiritual journey to learn more about yourself and your and our place in the universe, to make all of this more bearable and to relativize any and all expectations about society, yourself and others. I ran into eastern philosophy (Tao Te Ching, the works of Alan Watts etc...) at just the right time when I was about your age and I helped me tremendously, definitely made me and everyone and everything else more tolerable and increased my empathy and bliss. As with anything in life, you can only go through this by yourself, but every smile you give gets you one back, telling you you're on the right track.
Hey Brother Francis, we've all been in this position, even at work, so you're not alone. The only thing I'll leave you with is this: "Comparison is the thief of joy."
We shouldn't compare our journey with others because we all have different starting points and different end points. We are all someone's sunshine, and each of us is better at something than someone else. Take it easy and enjoy the work you do. 😇
Hey, I read this fully and I want to be honest with you: what you're describing is something I've felt too, and I don't think you're as behind as you think you are.
Here's the thing about the "I should have done this faster" feeling. It's a trap. You're comparing your timeline to an imaginary version of yourself that had everything figured out from day 1. That person doesn't exist. Nobody ships a great portfolio, networks effectively, contributes to open source, AND lands a job in 6 months from scratch. That's just not how it works, and nobody tells you that upfront.
I'm a 2nd year CS student at EPITECH Nancy. At my school, we have no traditional classes at all. Everything is project-based, you learn by doing. And you'd think that environment would push everyone to build things, contribute to open source, engage with the community... but honestly? Most of my classmates just do the school projects and stop there, that's it. They're not on dev.to, they're not contributing to repos, they're not reading articles at midnight about problems they want to solve. And EPITECH is already a school that selects for motivated people. So if that's the baseline even there, imagine what the average CS student looks like.
The real growth doesn't come from the curriculum. It comes from exactly what you're doing: reading, building personal projects, networking, contributing. That's where you actually become a developer. And you're already doing all of that. Which means, even on the days where it feels like you're going nowhere, you're ahead of probably 90% of students at your level. Not because you're perfect, but because most people simply aren't putting in this kind of effort outside of what's required.
The resume feedback thing you mentioned actually made me a little frustrated reading it, because I've seen this pattern too. People give you surface-level feedback not because they're gatekeeping on purpose, but because giving genuinely deep feedback to a stranger is hard work and most people aren't willing to do it. It's not personal. It's just shallow. The bar for "being helpful" in most communities is really low. A typo fix counts as feedback apparently 😅
Now about the "helping others more than yourself" part. I think you're framing this wrong. The fact that you can give good advice means you actually know things. The problem isn't that the knowledge isn't there, it's that applying it to yourself is 10x harder emotionally. Everyone who gives good advice struggles to follow it themselves. And that's not fraud, that's just being human as you and me.
And the AI thing... look, using AI on projects doesn't mean you're not growing. The question is whether you understand what you're building. If you do, you're growing, if you're just copy-pasting without thinking, that's worth fixing, but I doubt that's the full picture.
The loneliness part is the one that actually hit me the most reading this. Sharing something you worked hard on and getting "👍 nice" and then silence... it's genuinely demoralizing. But here's what I'd push back on: you're measuring the wrong things, 6 months of networking, a real portfolio update, open source contributions, and a moderator role on a platform? For someone graduating next year, that's actually a solid base (im not a senior, just a student like you, im giving you my opinion ^^) The job hunt is going to feel slow and random no matter what you built. That part is just brutal for everyone right now.
You're not a sacrifice at all, otherwise everyone would actually be like you and me :) You're just in the hard middle part where the work is done but the results haven't shown up yet. That gap is real and it's awful, but it's not permanent 💙
I felt this. Sometimes I look at everything I've learned over the past few months and still convince myself I should be much further ahead. Looking back is usually the only way I realize I've actually made progress.
Its natural to need something in return for what the mind has to go through, when nothing is given in return, one might call it off or reduce the quality. Its a shame to let the brain work less productively and get accustomed to it. You gotta push through because the other way around only leads to the opposite of the dream.
I have been using AI more than I should. As a result, it feels that I am not growing at all regardless of the amount of contributions I have made.
bro, is absolutely right
i think keep doing what you feel right no matter what you earn now but i think it always ends good at end you will see it at the end
nah bro u reached better than what most of us dream of i know u could feel empty but at least try to be positive 😊
Thanks Khalid! Even though I made it this far, I still get doubts like everyone else. It does showed me that no matter your skill level, there will always be burn outs and doubts along the way.
Is any Africa her
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Francis, I really don't know how to help you; I'm in almost the same situation, and I wonder if you're looking for a solution or just a comfortable place, with people who understand you and feel the same way you have been feeling?