Let's be fair. The title of this post is confusing at first, but once you read it in full, I hope you will understand why. Do let me know if otherwise since this has been on my mind for some time.
With that said, I did some reflection during the weekend since we are halfway through 2026. On paper, I know that I did a lot such as contributing to open source for the first time, networking, etc. I know that I did a lot than I ever did but the more I think about it, the more shallow it becomes.
For example, on dev.to, I was able to grow an audience and became Moderator on the platform, which I was REALLY grateful for. I never really got this far in life where I was given the responsibility as a moderator at all. I was more of a joking type of person where even though my tone is more energetic and funny in a way, I still get my point across. It's usually the main reason why people don't really trust me on mod powers because of my behavior being volatile in a energetic way.
Besides the point, when I started to reflect on this, the only thing I can think of is "Oh, I just got moderator". Now that sounds so ungrateful if you read it, but my mind was thinking that in a very high level. It felt like I achieve one thing that shouldn't took a month to do. It didn't feel very accomplish in a sense.
My whole goal for this year is to try to find a full time role since I am graduating next year. When reflecting on what I did in the past 6 months, it felt very disappointing. In a high level, I accomplished:
- Networking on dev.to and Virtual Coffee.
- Updating my Resume and Portfolio.
That's it.
This made me feel disappointed in myself because I should have done more, but how should I know this beforehand? I feel behind because of the improvements that I made in which I should have accomplish this in a fraction of those 6 months instead of being 6 months.
You could argue that I contributed to Open Source and made projects with other people. But even thinking about those makes me feel like I should have done this before. You could also argue that my "portfolio looks cool". I agree, but so is other people's portfolio. With projects in general, I have been using AI more than I should. As a result, it feels that I am not growing at all regardless of the amount of contributions I have made.
You know what's crazy?? It made me realized that I have been helping others more than myself. I have been giving advice to people that is helpful on dev.to but couldn't apply that advice to myself. In other words, "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess". It made me feel like a fraud.
I have been giving advice, not knowing if it was helpful or not, and I am not getting anything in return. It's not that I am afraid of asking for help (which I am not), but I feel like I am being gate keep and being used by other people.
For example, there was a time where I had a two-column resume and sent in for feedback. The feedback was helpful for sure, but it was more basic than anything such as grammatical errors, Education should be top or bottom of the resume, etc. However, when I changed it to one column due to ATS, the same person reviewing my resume complemented me that I should be doing one column because of ATS. You know what's crazy:
"They never mention it before. They only mention it after I changed it to one column".
This is why I feel like I am being gate keep on the knowledge that should allow me to grow. I feel like a walking curse and that I am getting despised on from other people. This is mainly the reason why I am mostly self-taught on things because I simply don't trust other people's advice based on how common the feedback is and less of in-depth. It feels like they care less about my resume.
I don't know what to do. I feel like asking for help will get me the same answers that I already knew. Even if I were to implement the feedback I get that I already knew, it feels like I am behind based on the same feedback I hear countless times and not knowing if the feedback was useful at all.
That all I wanted to share. It's hard to stay hopeful. Maybe I am a sacrifice to allow others to grow in which I cannot no matter how much I tried. I am just used to people asking me for advice and simply leave. It feels really alone when just being on dev.to, knowing others would not care on what I do. I don't really have anyone to share my accomplishments with. Every time I share something, it falls into these categories:
- Ignore.
- They see it, but left on read.
- They see it and say good job..then move on to a different topic.
Even sharing posts with my friends on creating ClassifierAI with @codingwithjiro and getting engagements (which I am grateful for), it feels shallow and none of my friends even care about it since most of my friends are not technical. Even a few friends that are like me, it still the same result.
I don't think anybody would care. We are all focus on ourselves. Besides, I am just another statistic on DEV...
Top comments (98)
Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's great to see that you're not only learning and growing yourself, but also helping others along the way. Good luck on your journey! 👍
Thanks and I appreciate the comment! I am slowly reading everyone's comment and notice there are more than 40+ comments that I need to reply 😭
Also, I sent you an invite to join the DEVenger org a while back if you have not seen it yet!
Wow! Those 40+ messages prove how much you are needed and loved by the community! 😄
Thank you for inviting me to DEVenger! However, I haven't received the invitation yet. 🤔
I sent the invite. It should be in your email!
Thank you! I accepted the invitation! 🤝
It gets better, Francis. Don't lose hope. I was in a similar situation during my second year of BE. It'll get better once you find an internship, which I'm p sure you will. Just find what you're really interested in doing and stay consistent with it.
Sending you virtual hugs <3
Thanks Athreya. It's just a depressing week for me. Not really burnt out in a way, but just reflecting too hard lol.
I appreciate the support :D
Hm, I had to read this post a few times because it sounded really sad to me and I hope I understood it correctly.
But maybe you should look at it from a different perspective. You mentioned only two accomplishments in six months, I just checked your profile and it looks like we joined the DEV community around the same time.
Honestly, I was surprised, because I thought you had been part of the community for much longer. From my point of view, you have done a lot. You earned many badges really fast and became a known part of the community in just six months.
Second, don’t tell me that with all the challenges you participate in, you don’t learn a lot. 😄 And you even won one!
Third, I just checked the ClassifierAI project on GitHub and it already has 10 stars in such a short time. That is actually a good achievement. My first 10 stars on GitHub took months, maybe even a year. 😅
So you see two achievements, but I see at least five and I don’t even know everything you have done.
Honestly, if you are still studying, that is a LOT of work in just six months.
Hey Daniel. Sorry for the late reply. Having the time to read each one and reflecting each one slowly (Gonna take a long time haha).
I do agree I have gaining badges (a LOT) in a short time, it just feels shallow because I believe recruiters would not care about the badges. They care about work, which I have but feels like it's not enough for this market.
The one I won was the writing challenge. If I were to win the project, it would made sense, which is why I was feeling disappointing.
This one I do agree with. Maybe I should look at this as an achievement!!
Thanks for the comment Daniel! I know we have slightly different opinions in AI and stuff and I hope I am not causing you any trouble!
Yeah, it looks like you have a lot of work to do over the next few days. 😄 But this actually shows that the DEV community cares.
I don’t know if recruiters check DEV profiles or not, but a lot of badges still look impressive. And whether it was a writing challenge or a coding challenge, a win is still a win and I think it means something.
I also think you are being too hard on yourself. Job hunting is stressful, and the current market is tough, especially for juniors or less experienced devs. But from my point of view, you will be okay. You are preparing yourself and not just waiting for things to happen.
And having different opinions does not mean we can’t have meaningful discussions or support each other.
P.S. You don’t have to answer this one. 😄
Sounds good. Thanks again Daniel!
P.S I did answer it lol
Francis .This took courage to post.
The gap between what you give and what comes back is real and it's exhausting. But the person who flagged my essays because he knew me and flagged me anyway .
That's not someone who doesn't care. That's someone with standards. That counts for more than most people's encouragement.
You're not behind. You're just measuring yourself against the wrong timeline.
Hey Daniel. Sorry for the late reply. I believe it's best for me to take time and read thoroughly for each comment and respond accordingly. That way, it would not feel generic.
The standards part is interesting. It's hard to find people having standards to things they believe in. I used to be the people who says Yes to things even though deep down, I wanted to say No.
I think it is important and I am glad I was able to speak confidently about the topic of AI and this post in particular. Glad dev.to is a welcoming community after all!
I hope I did not disturb you on the Sloan messages recently.
No disturbance and I mean that. The flags were frustrating in the moment but the way you handled everything publicly, the transparency about your process, the willingness to dig into the technical side of it today . that's the kind of engagement that makes a community worth being part of. Standards are rare. Yours were visible throughout.
Take your time with the replies. The thread isn't going anywhere.
I totally understand you, it's like your mind is telling you "Am I missing on something?"
... + Beware of the "Imposter Syndrome",
Exactly..
Francis, I know it's easy for me to say this from the outside, but reading this, I think you're being much harder on yourself than you should be.
You joined DEV at the beginning of the year and when I look at everything you've done since then, I see a lot of progress. Open source contributions, projects, networking, growing your presence in the community, becoming a moderator, collaborating with other people... that's a lot more than "just updating a resume and portfolio."
I can relate to that feeling of looking at what you've done and immediately thinking you should have done it sooner or done more. But progress is still progress, even when it doesn't feel as big as we expected.
For what it's worth, I don't think you're "just another statistic on DEV." You were one of the first people to welcome me when I came back to DEV, and I still remember that. I think you've had a bigger impact on people here than you give yourself credit for.
Hey Hemapriya. Thanks for your encouragements. Going down the comments slowly so I do apologizes for the late reply.
I believe this is one of the hardest part for me. I do agree progress is progress but I feel like I am not doing it fast enough to get to the place I needed to be. It also factors in comparing myself to others as well since I wasn't get recognized for my work in real life. I was more of a person who just does things and most people are not interested in it.
I am honored..actually. I am glad I made you feel welcomed. Just a lost of words lol. But I do appreciate it!
I made a schedule to coffee chat next week btw! We can talk more about this or anything you are curious about!
I know it's easier for me to say from the outside, but I really do believe you're making more progress than you give yourself credit for. Sometimes we're just much harder on ourselves than we'd ever be on someone else.
And I'm really glad to hear that. You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome when I came back to DEV, so I wanted to make sure you knew that it made a difference.
Looking forward to the coffee chat next week! It'll be great to catch up and chat about all of this (and probably a bunch of other random topics too 😄).
I think many of us needed this reminder
Wishing you all the best Francis ❤️
Thanks Usman! ❤️
Francis,
From what I have gathered, if you have found yourself in the pit of despair, it means that the only place left to go is up.
I sympathize with you on your feelings. I know that the barriers to entry are tough, and that it may feel like sometimes you have been 'used'.
Let me reframe this. All of those connections you make, all of those people you help, they are your future references that can speak on your behalf, of the excellent time and work you did - even if it was for free.
Remember that there is value in experience, connections, and even things that feel like failures. We learn, we adjust our stance, and go forward. Keep an open mind and dont give up. ✨️
Hey Anna. Thanks for the comment and the support!
I didn't really think this through because I was thinking at a surface level. The more I thought about this, the more it becomes true. There are cases where people mentioned me in a positive way on DEV and I feel like I made some influence in the community. I think I was selfish to be honest. I should be thinking about the positives, small wins, and keep going.
Sorry if I made you unconformable when talking about my stance on AI and other things. I am really a self aware person and I don't want others to feel like they do not belong here.
Not at all. I think those of us that share our opinion can represent the way many others may feel but do not want to share. Sharing invites in new perspectives and growth. In this context, never something to apologize for. Everyone is entitled to have feelings and opinions. You seemed like you could use reminder that we are here for each other! We all have different skills and knowledge bases. Together we are stronger, prickly and imperfect parts included, as everyone is a work in progress. ✨️🦚
This hit harder than I expected.
One thing that stood out to me is that every accomplishment you listed immediately got followed by a reason it "doesn't count." Moderator? Just a moderator. Open source? Should've done it earlier. Projects? AI helped. Networking? Should've happened faster.
At some point, it becomes impossible to feel progress because the goalposts keep moving. And to some extent that's part of growth. The more you achieve, the more you realize what's still left to learn. But that doesn't mean the progress you've already made stops being real. Learn to be proud of what you've accomplished while still leaving room to keep growing.
For what it's worth, I probably started being regular on DEV after you did, and from my perspective you've become one of the people most associated with the community in a very short amount of time. That's not something that happens accidentally.
I also don't think people are gatekeeping as much as they're often giving advice from their own blind spots. I've noticed that many people only point out what they happen to notice at that moment, which can make feedback feel incomplete or inconsistent.
The line that stuck with me was "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess."
Ironically, I think a lot of people who help others end up feeling that way sometimes. They're close enough to see everyone else's progress, but too close to their own journey to recognize it. And that's okay.
I don't know if that fixes the feeling, but I don't think you're nearly as far behind as your reflection is telling you.
Hey Aryan. Hope you are well. As I mention to everyone here, I am taking response slowly in order for me to respond accordingly. My apologies!
Oh for sure. I remember starting off on dev.to where my goal was to become a Full Stack Dev. Now, it branches out into multiple quests that I did not anticipated. I am grateful to see those quests, but having to accomplish many of them feels tiresome.
Achieving in a short amount of time is my expertise. I am starting to realized that recently. For example, I am able to pick up the skills in a video game in a short amount of time or finding ways to achieve a goal in a small amount of time.
It comes with drawbacks, people will look negative to me because of the skill I have, which leads to me feeling not included and people expecting too much from me. It's never a "good Job Francis" and it's more of "oh Francis, do better". For example, I remember playing smash bros and I got second. Everyone around me says "OH FRANCIS LOST???", but when someone got second place, they say "good job man!".
This always feel inconsistent to me. In my personal experience, feedback was given to me that I already knew. I was hoping to get feedback on something I DIDN'T know.
For example, my professor reviewed my resume at one point and she mention that "Don't add individual soft skills in the skills section. The soft skills are implied that you did them in your experience". This was NEW to me, which it is a great thing to point out. I always think that there has to be a secret formula to get jobs for people who has no experience...
I remember a time where I told me friend to present his project and gave him a nudge to showcase it. The outcome is that everyone was amaze of his work. The downside is that not a lot of people recognize mine...It hurts but also glad my friend present his work. This is where the "sacrifice" came from since I believe I can show others the way, but no one will know it was me.
It gave me new insights to what you are viewing. I am glad you are here and support my journey along the way. I had a feeling that I should share this because I feel like I don't get recognize by my personal friends. This is why the title of the article is like that way because I feel behind, but I can't prove it because of my progress on DEV.
Thanks Aryan :)
Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful reply, Francis.
One thing that stood out to me was what you said about learning skills quickly. I can definitely see that from watching your journey on DEV. The downside, like you mentioned, is that people start treating your progress as the expectation instead of something worth celebrating. After a while, every achievement starts feeling like "that's just Francis."
But I'd still encourage you to celebrate those wins yourself. I didn't really have many supportive friends until last year either. Somehow, once I started changing my own perspective and putting myself around people who genuinely wanted to see each other grow, things slowly changed. Now I have friends who celebrate even the smallest wins, and somehow life keeps introducing me to more people like that whenever someone gets busy with their own path. I hope the same happens for you, because you deserve people who see your progress too.
I also really liked your resume example. That's exactly the kind of feedback that actually helps, the kind that challenges an assumption you didn't even realize you had. Those moments are rare, but they're usually the ones that move us forward the most. And honestly, I don't think there's some secret formula that everyone else knows. You just keep doing good work, make smart decisions with good intentions, and eventually luck has a funny way of noticing. So don't stop now, not after everything you've already built.
And regarding helping your friend present his project... I get why that stayed with you. Sometimes we're naturally better at seeing potential in other people than in ourselves. Just don't let that become the story you tell yourself. Supporting others and being recognized yourself aren't mutually exclusive. Don't let yourself believe that this is your permanent role in life. You don't have to choose between being the person who supports others and being someone whose own work is recognized. You can be both.
And for what it's worth, you've got people here too. I'll definitely keep following your journey, and I'm sure plenty of others on DEV will as well.
Thanks again for sharing all of this. I'm really glad you wrote the post because I think a lot more people relate to these feelings than they'd ever admit.
Take it easy for a while pal... Take a break when you need to and come back stronger... You're doing great!!!
Quote:
"It made me realized that I have been helping others more than myself. I have been giving advice to people that is helpful on dev.to"
I would call that an achievement (or a "quality"), and an important one - so let that be your strength and your unique skill, maybe? One that you could even advertise to potential employers:
"I'm a team player, and I am able to make the whole team function better through my actions and my attitude"
Thanks Leob! I appreciate the support. Going through each comment slowly to take the time to read it through so I apologies for the late response. I will keep in mind of the quote you presented since it has given me a new perspective in a positive way. Thanks!
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