Land of the Living, Land of the Dead — But Only If You Vote Right

Breaking News: Burial Now Requires Ballot Approval

In today’s episode of Democracy, But Make It Saffron, a Muslim man’s funeral in Ramnagar was interrupted because apparently, resting in peace now requires a voter ID and ideological clearance.

A grieving family, burial documents in hand, approached a plot they’d used for decades. What they met instead was a mob in saffron, chanting slogans, blocking the entrance like bouncers at a club. The message? No entry for the wrong religion.

"Go bury him in Pakistan," they said. As if border-crossing logistics were a valid part of grief management.

The reason offered? A sudden, never-before-mentioned land dispute. Right on cue. Just like an actor showing up for their one line in a bad political soap opera.

Graveyards: The New Flashpoints of Freedom

You’d think in a country where cows get full funeral processions, humans might at least get to be buried without drama. But no — not if you're Muslim, and especially not in an election year.

Funeral grounds, like history textbooks and film scripts, are now part of the national culture war.

Mosque demolished? National interest.
Grave blocked? Land dispute.
Mob screaming abuse? Cultural preservation.

Ah yes, the great Indian tradition of letting mobs decide property rights.

Police: Now Offering Vague Suggestions Since 2014

As always, the local police were present. Not to enforce the law, but to perform their new role: peace consultants.

"Maybe find another place to bury him. Why cause tension?"

That’s modern Indian policing. Not “protect and serve.” More like “deflect and defer.”

Law and order outsourced to whoever has the loudest megaphone and the brightest scarf.

The Land Dispute That Magically Appeared

Ask anyone in Ramnagar, and they’ll tell you: that land has been used for Muslim burials for over 30 years. No objections. No cases. No drama.

Until now.

Until the right-wing WhatsApp groups decided burial plots make great headlines. Until local party workers realized that even the dead can be used to rile up votes.

So, suddenly, the land became disputed. Like magic. Or like communalism dressed up in legal cosplay.

Death, Now With a Side of Nationalism

Let’s be clear. This isn’t about property. It’s about power.

Controlling what Muslims wear, eat, speak, love — and now, where they are allowed to be mourned. It’s performance politics of the highest order. Because when the government fails on inflation, jobs, and governance, there’s always one card left to play:

*"Look! A Muslim! Being sad in public! Stop them!"

Global Silence, Local Spectacle

While this unfolded, human rights groups twiddled their thumbs. Western democracies, too busy selling fighter jets and chai diplomacy, remained quiet. Again.

Meanwhile, the community buried their dead under police watch, by the roadside, like second-class citizens in a country that promises liberty on paper and delivers bigotry on ground.