slopsieve: a diff linter for the AI slop era

cURL scrapped its bug bounty after getting buried in AI slop. Godot is drowning in slop PRs. GitHub floated a PR kill switch. the maintainers' complaint is consistent: the code looks fine until you read it.

so i built slopsieve, a zero-dep node CLI that scores a diff or PR for the 12 signals a tired reviewer checks at 1am:

$ npx slopsieve fixtures/slop.patch

SLOP SCORE: 100/100 - ALARM
4 files · +37 -8 lines

FLAGS
  [30] test weakening        tests/cart.test.js:24 it.skip(...)
  [25] debug leftovers       src/cart.js:25 console.log("checking qty", qty)
  [20] empty catch/except    src/utils.js:12 } catch (e) {}
  [20] trivial dependency    package.json:17 adds 'is-odd'
  [15] commented-out code    3 commented-out lines
  [10] narration comments    6 narration comments
  [10] dead exports          'isQuantityOdd' referenced nowhere in this diff
  [ 5] vague util sprawl     src/utils.js created

what it does: parses the unified diff, runs 12 weighted checks (it.skip, assertions removed, console.log/debugger, catch-all deps, exports nothing references, "this function..." comments), prints file and line for every flag. --fail-at makes it a CI gate, --json feeds tooling.

the bug that embarrassed me: my debug-leftovers regex dd\s*\( (laravel dump) matched isQuantityOdd( because the string "dd(" hides inside "Odd(". the tool caught nothing wrong with the fixture and everything wrong with my regex. word boundary fixed it; the test fixture keeps it fixed.

what it is not: an AI detector. it scores diff hygiene signals. a human can write a 100/100 slop diff, an LLM can write a 0/100 clean one. the README lists where the heuristics miss: two-line catch blocks, callers outside the diff, comment patterns in other languages.

github.com/princejain756/slopsieve - npx slopsieve owner/repo#123

what is the one signal you wish your PR queue flagged automatically?