The smile on the face staring back at me in the Zoom meeting faltered. A tiny bead of sweat began to form on my forehead. What had he asked? He wanted me to sort... something. Just a simple sort? In a Class? Was that it?
“... I... I’m sorry to have wasted your time. I’m just... I’m drawing a blank.”
It’s funny what fear and insecurity can do to us. It was the first time in 12 years that I participated in any type of job interview. The first time, believe it or not, I ever had to do a technical assessment. The first time in over 20 years that I was jobless. I suddenly felt incapable. My mind an empty whiteboard of nothingness.
Maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought I did? Maybe I just wasn’t very good at my job? I mean... I was let go by my previous employer. They told me that (and deep down I knew) it wasn’t performance-related, but perhaps that’s just “something nice people say.” It took days for me to recover from that first job interview. Would I ever manage to get hired again? Do I even belong here?
The Roadblock That Is Impostor Syndrome
One of the biggest impediments to continued growth or success is impostor syndrome. What exactly is impostor syndrome? It's that anxiety, that feeling of self-doubt, which makes you undervalue your skills or accomplishments.
Now, I know what you're thinking. As you grow into whatever role it is that you're interested in obtaining, it'll get better. After all, practice makes perfect. If you work at something long enough, you'll get so good at it that you'll never have to worry about feeling that way!
Think again.
The world of development is one of constant change. It was born through innovation! So, when everything around you is in a constant state of flux, what you know (and more importantly what you THINK you know) has to be changing with it. Naturally, the side effect that comes with it... impostor syndrome.
A Couple of Simple Truths
All that said, there are a couple of things I want you to try to always remember. Things I needed to remind myself about even 20+ years into my career...
First, one thing you need to know is that you do not need to know everything. No one does! Some of the best developers I've ever worked with are constantly on Google and Stack Overflow. We rarely see those moments, only seeing the end result of the work they put in to resolve issues or ship deliverables. We think, "Wow, they're like coding savants!"
No. They're a lot like you, actually.
And, that leads me to the second thing you need to know, or rather deserve to know:
You. Are not. An Impostor.
Does this mean that you'll be a perfect fit for every job that you apply for? Of course not. Truth be told, many of the people currently employed in this industry also aren't perfect fits for the various roles they fill, ultimately because there is no such thing!
We are all learners. Every single one of us. Sure, some are farther along than others. There are undoubtedly people that know more than you do, but maybe they've been at it longer than you have. And, ultimately, so what? Don't allow the abilities of others to make you doubt your own. There are things that you are capable of doing that they are not.
So, when that little voice in the back of your head starts to speak up, trying to tell you how "you just aren't good enough", kindly tell it to shove off. Get back to it. Because you are no impostor.
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