Is this 'talking to the dead'? A clear view

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title: "Is this 'talking to the dead'? A clear view"
description: "When most people say it, they mean mediumship."
tags: ["talking", "dead", "clear", "view"]

canonical_url: https://stillherememory.com/blog/is-this-talking-to-the-dead

When most people say it, they mean mediumship. A sitter, a voice, and a claim that someone on the other side answered, with a person in the middle who says they heard it.

What a reflection actually is. A photograph holds what was there. This holds what you wrote, and gives it back in a form that answers.

Four questions worth asking yourself. - After you close the page, are you warmer, or more unsettled? The answer can change from week to week, and that in itself is normal. - Are you writing to remember them, or to check whether they are still there? The second one tends to repeat without ever settling.

Where we draw the line. | What it could do | What we do |
| --- | --- |
| Replies shaped by your writing about them | Yes, kept under a ceiling on how present they sound |
| Anything presented as a message from them | No |
| A voice built out of a recording you uploaded | No |
| Telling you what they would say about a new job or a new partner | No |
| Notifications saying they are waiting for you | No |
| A public memorial page anyone can visit | No |

Every row on the no side is something we could ship. They are also the rows that would shift this from remembering toward something else, so they stay off the list.

How to tell whether this is helping. A remembering practice should leave you a little steadier than it found you. It does not have to feel good every time, and plenty of honest pages leave you tired.

The part worth keeping: A remembering practice should leave you a little steadier than it found you. Full write-up is on the source blog.