Stay in Their Corner After They Leave

Most mentoring relationships end quietly.

They change teams. You change jobs. The standing half hour on Thursday stops getting scheduled, and nobody ever says anything about it.

That feels natural. I want to suggest it is a small waste.

Because the part where you sat next to them while they learned the codebase was never the whole point.

The longer value is that someone in this industry knows how they actually work, and can say so out loud.

Stay in their corner after they leave.

It costs you almost nothing. A message when you see their name on something good. A reply when they ask what you think of an offer. A recommendation written before they have to chase you for it.

Two years later that is worth more to them than anything you once explained in a one on one.

Here is what I have noticed. People are shy about coming back.

They think the mentoring window closed the day they walked out the door. They assume you have moved on and they would be intruding on your time.

So say it plainly before they go. Tell them the door stays open. Tell them you want the update when the new job is going well, and especially when it is not.

Then actually answer when they write.

And do not expect it to stay one directional. The best version of this flips.

The person you helped at twenty three becomes the person who tells you about a role at thirty. Who makes an introduction. Who explains a domain you never got around to learning.

I have watched that happen more times than I can count, and every time it started with a relationship kept alive out of ordinary care, not strategy.

Which is worth saying clearly. Do not do this because it might pay off later.

Do it because you spent real time on this person and you would genuinely like to know how the story goes.

Careers are long. People come back around.

The mentor who stayed reachable is the one who ends up mattering, long after there was nothing left to teach.

– Asael Shinder