A colleague you have worked beside for four years is leaving at the end of the week. On Thursday afternoon your manager stops by your desk. There will be drinks on Friday, and since you know her best, would you say a few words? You say yes before you have thought about it, and now you are staring at a blank page wondering what people actually say at these things.
Short and specific is almost always right. Two or three minutes is plenty. People are standing, holding a drink, and the person leaving is often a little embarrassed already. Nobody ever complained that a leaving speech was too short.
Start by collecting moments rather than adjectives. Saying she is brilliant and kind and will be missed is true and forgettable. Think instead of the time she stayed late to help a new starter fix their first deployment, or the design review where she asked the question that saved the team a month of work. One or two real stories say more about a person than a list of qualities.
Ask a few others for a memory too. It takes ten minutes on a message to the team, and it gives you material you would never have found alone. It also lets you speak for the room rather than only for yourself, which is really what you have been asked to do.
Then think carefully about who is listening. Her family may be watching on a video call, or people from other teams who do not know your shared history. Avoid stories that only make sense to three people, anything she might find embarrassing in front of her new manager's friends, and anything about why she is leaving. If you are unsure whether a story is welcome, ask her quietly beforehand. Most people are touched to be asked.
Say something about the work she leaves behind. The system she built that still runs every night, the people she trained, the habits she gave the team. That is the part people often forget, and it is often what the person leaving most wants to hear.
Write it down, but do not read it word for word. A few notes on a card or your phone are enough. Practise it once aloud, so you know roughly how long it is.
Finish with something simple and warm. Wishing her well in the new job, and thanking her. Then raise your glass and step back so she can speak if she wants to.
You will probably be nervous, and it will probably go better than you expect. People are generous in a room like that. They want it to go well too.
– Asael Shinder
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