AI is making me weaker, mentally...

Today, I tried learning about OAuth 2 and multi-tenant architecture. Usually I will use an LLM for it, but for some reason I thought, why not try doing it the old-school way: reading articles, documentation, and Stack Overflow.

I couldn't. I simply couldn't read a 2-page article in one sitting. I couldn't focus, make sense of what's written, decode complex terms and diagrams, and gave up when I couldn't make sense of what I was reading for 10 minutes.

I gave up midway, switched to watching YouTube, and wasted hours. I keep a technical journal and tried articulating what's happening. Here is a raw snippet from it:

Test This:
Try to implement caching WITHOUT AI:
Can you? → Probably yes (after struggling 6 hours)
With AI? → Yes (after struggling 1 hour)
Difference: TIME, not ABILITY. 

About this part specifically, the issue is not with learning ability or time tradeoff per say, but rather endurance. When I use AI, I get answers in one place, I don't have to read tehnical articles, search multiple places etc. It becomes comparitvely easier and my mind doesn't get used to this feeling of feeling like an idiot, this uncomfortable creepy feeling of not understanding something, spending hours trying to understand something. 
I believe these situations build mental resistance and endurance, you force yourself to sit down stuff even if it feels hard and uncomfortable because it is the only way, you have to dissect internally complex topics, force yourself to piece information together and just get comfortable with the process. 

Imagine me in 2 years, if I were to continue with the same trajectory, my mind will never get used to this creepy and uncomfortable feeling of not understading stuff, piecing stuff together, dissecting it and just not having stuff served on a plate in general. 

As a junior, you may I am weaking my mental resistance and endurance. 
> Backend problems are DEEPER (you like this)
you said this with aligns perfectly with my point.

I fear continuing this path will make me hit the ceiling real fast. I remember before LLM, I had little to no choice but be uncomfortable and continue. I have stopped doing it altogether.

I would also like to point out that all the YouTube videos and guides are not pointing out this issue. Experienced developers already have that tolerance from years of grinding, but us freshers are in for a rude awakening and potential burnout if this continues.

Now, please advise what I can realistically do?

On one hand, I do need my first internship, and not using AI is making me feel like I would be left behind, but on the other I don't want to half-ass what I like.