People say layoffs is a universal constant that keeps the modern economy mathematically valid, but yet we try to distance ourselves from thinking about it as much as possible.
For one reason or another, if judgment day becomes imminent, we scramble to put things back together and correct every possible little things that may and will contribute to our fall from grace.
So I turned off Netflix, sat myself in a corner, silently reflecting the ways to "cushion the blow" after the New Year holiday is over.
Emotionally dealing with the problem
Needlessly, I self-questioned everything from hard skills to my own sanity, procrastinated over the chain of mistakes and errors leading to my downfall. Yet, I reminisced the times when conversations with the manager were lighter and the initial optimism after probation period ends successfully.
In truth, I have better days checkered with worse days. And the impermanence of things in life teaches me there is always an end to the start, regardless of performance and luck. Counterintuitive that it may sound, it is the obsession of control, not perfection, that gets to me.
It's really easy to apply self help content from people on the same boat as you are, and while I can't deny that it's mental medicine, I'm not impervious to events that can invalidate everything I thought as right, and that will take a while for me to surface back up. But that's okay...at least for me.
The boring part...making a failsafe plan
The most obvious thing I can do right now is to browse LinkedIn and every listings/job boards I can think of.
But personally, the important thing to do right now is to transfer what I learned from my present job in terms of technical knowledge and soft skills to my Notion, or notebook.
Once I have everything in one place, then should I start tinkering with my CV.
As a P/S, from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa, he wrote:
"Trying to attain full understanding of one self is like letting yourself fall into a bottomless rabbit hole, since you could be an entirely different person in different circumstances."
"Reality is just as deluded and false as our vivid dreams we had last night. Dissolved as soon as we woke up, never to be known and thought of again."
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