The Break That Taught Me Nothing (and Everything)
Two months. That's how long I stayed away from code. Two months of pretending I needed "rest" when really I was just avoiding the thing that keeps me sane. Today I came back, and holy shit—it felt like coming home.
Why Working Beats Not Working (Even If You're Working Too Much)
Here's something nobody wants to hear: self-destructive work is better than self-destructive nothing.
I'm not glorifying burnout. I'm not saying sleep is optional or that your health doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that when you're someone like me—someone who spirals when idle—sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is pick up your laptop and start building.
Today's breakdown:
- 2.5 hours in the gym (because physical exhaustion > mental exhaustion)
- Python revision (getting back to basics after the rust settled in)
- Planning tomorrow: libraries, GitHub workflow, maybe linear regression if my brain cooperates
The Bond Reality Check
"Don't burn bridges," they say. "Networking matters," they say.
You know what matters more? Actually building something worth networking about. I'm done pretending social capital means anything when your skills are mid. The code doesn't care if you're likable. The machine doesn't run on good vibes.
I'm not saying relationships don't matter—they do. But they matter after you have something real to bring to the table. First, build. Then, bond.
What's Next (Version 1.0 of My Life)
This is my v1 restart. Last time I worked for 3 months and ghosted for 2. Not sustainable. Not smart.
The new rule: 3 years straight. No 2-month breaks. No random disappearances. Just consistent work, consistent workouts, and hopefully less consistent self-loathing.
Tomorrow's agenda:
- Python libraries deep dive
- GitHub workflow (because I've been committing like a caveman)
- Linear regression fundamentals (back to ML basics)
The goal isn't to impress anyone. The goal is to survive. And if I'm going to survive, it's going to be with a keyboard in front of me.
Let's see if v1 makes it past the first week.
This is part of my public building journey. Raw thoughts, real progress, zero bullshit.
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