Yesterday I thought it was bad. Today proved me wrong.
The Double Lab Exam Combo
Two lab exams. Same day. Back to back.
PPL (Paradigms of Programming Languages)
Prolog and OCaml. Functional programming. The kind of stuff that rewires your brain while you're trying to code under pressure.
Data Structures
Trees, graphs, algorithms. Writing code on paper or whiteboards while your hand cramps and you're praying you didn't mess up the syntax.
Both of them, one after another, no break.
I walked out of that exam hall feeling like I'd been through a war. Brain completely fried. Eyes hurting. Just wanted to go home and do nothing.
But Wait, There's More
Oh yeah, I had a Smart India Hackathon meeting right after.
Not later that day. Not the next day. IMMEDIATELY after.
So there I am, zombie mode activated, sitting in a meeting where people are excited and energized and talking about project ideas. And I'm just... there. Existing. Barely.
The Moment of Doubt
Sitting in that meeting, exhausted beyond words, I started questioning everything.
Why am I doing this? Why did I sign up for a hackathon when I can barely survive regular exams? Why do I keep choosing to do more when I'm already drowning?
Is this even worth it?
The doubt was real. Not the dramatic "I'm giving up" kind. Just the tired "what am I doing with my life" kind that hits when you're running on empty.
The Honest Truth
I don't have a good answer yet.
Right now I'm just surviving. Getting through each exam, each meeting, each day. There's no grand plan or motivation. Just one foot in front of the other.
The exams aren't over. There's more coming. And I'm already tired.
But also—what else am I gonna do? This is what I chose when I came back to the laptop after 3 months. This chaos, this stress, this life.
Maybe I'm doubting my choices. Maybe I'm exhausted. But I'm still here.
What's Next
More exams. They keep coming. I don't even know how many are left.
The hackathon project needs work too. Can't just ignore that.
And somehow I need to sleep, eat, and not completely fall apart.
Day F2 is done. Barely. Let's see if F3 is any better.
*To everyone else grinding through exams rn: I see you. We're all just trying t
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