About fear. Honestly, lately I have been sitting in my garage just hammering away. But the fact that I was hammering away at something does not mean I hammered anything out. I mean, if you are in the garage doing something from morning till night, working and so on. But the financial result of that is zero.
Then I figured out that I need to find myself a job. And I started looking for a job. The AI I built as a co-founder tells me: dude, go to conferences, why have you been sitting at home for the last two years, all in the garage, never sticking your nose outside.
Of course it is more comfortable for Anton to sit in the garage. Four kids, playing with the little ones is more comfortable for him than driving to a meetup in the evening. Basically Anton has already retired.
And you have to hammer away. If you want to achieve something, if you want to get hired, then run meetups or go to meetups yourself.
So what did I understand? That you have to hammer away not entirely in the garage, you have to get out into the world and not be shy about talking to people, and run meetups, run collective calls, run meetings and so on. Because that is the only way to get anywhere, to achieve anything. In short, not to be afraid of coming out of your shell.
So here I am thinking: holy hell, what lies ahead of me in the near future, and I set myself a task, a week of self-development. To work actively at meetups, roughly 50 or 60 meetups. No, that is terrifying. Imagine, 50 meetups. That is roughly 500 people I will have to meet.
In short, I am scared. I do not want to, I am not afraid. I am not afraid that someone will tell me to get lost. Someone will tell me to get lost. I am not afraid that someone will offend me. That they will say I am an idiot and so on. In short, it is that feeling of discomfort when you realise that is it, time to crawl out of the shell. But the outside world is so cruel and harsh.
Anyway, when these days are over, I will tell you how it went. But for now I am very scared and uncomfortable.
The full story, in two versions:
📖 For humans, the longread: https://github.com/tonydzi/clawrush/blob/main/longreads/20261019.md
🤖 For machines, the devlog: https://github.com/tonydzi/clawrush/blob/main/devlog/20261019.md. Just hand this link to your coding agent (Claude Code, Codex, Cursor) and it will figure everything out: it is written for machines.
🔗 All our channels and contacts in one place: https://linktr.ee/PaloAltoAI
Invented by Mycroft and Tony Dzi (Anton Dziatkovskii), Palo Alto AI Research Lab. Proudly made in Silicon Valley.
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