title: [Book Sharing] Raising a Strong-Willed Child - The Silicon Valley Parenting Method That the World is Learning, Equipping Children with the Most Important Life Skills for the Future
published: false
date: 2023-10-18 00:00:00 UTC
tags:
canonical_url: http://www.evanlin.com/reading-How-to-Raise-Successful-People/
---
[](https://moo.im/a/dlmAPV "Raising a Strong-Willed Child")
Raising a Strong-Willed Child - The Silicon Valley Parenting Method That the World is Learning, Equipping Children with the Most Important Life Skills for the Future
How to Raise Successful People
72 people rated
Author: Esther Wojcicki
Original Author: Esther Wojcicki
Translator: Han Jiegwang
Publisher: Global Views Monthly
#### Purchase Recommendation Website:
- Readmoo: [Purchase Link](https://moo.im/a/dlmAPV)
# Preface:
This is the 14th book I finished reading in 2023. The reason I came across this book was because of its index introduction, which described how she raised three independent and thoughtful daughters. All of them became important figures in high-tech companies in the United States. Because my daughter is too clingy. This has also been troubling my wife and me, and we are thinking about what methods we need to use to properly educate our daughter for her future growth. Of course, deep down, we may not want her to become independent too early.
# Content Summary:
The road to adulthood is full of ups and downs,
Children work hard, and parents do their best.
But how can we ensure that children live a confident and happy life?
A 21st-century confidence parenting guide for all hardworking parents
Esther Wojcicki is known as the "Silicon Valley Mother." She has been teaching at a high school in Silicon Valley, California, for 37 years. Not only has she taught Hollywood stars like James Franco, basketball player Jeremy Lin, and Steve Jobs' daughter, but she has also influenced the lives of countless students.
Wojcicki, nicknamed "Woj" by her students, also raised three super daughters. The eldest daughter, Susan, is a Google veteran and current YouTube CEO; the second daughter, Jenny, is a top medical scholar; and the third daughter, Anne, is the co-founder of the gene technology company 23andMe.
Woj's methods not only help children succeed in school but also cultivate the skills they need after entering society—the ability to continuously self-learn and collaborate with others to solve problems when facing unfamiliar challenges. The global education and business communities are all seeking to learn from Woj's classroom to find the secret formula for success.
Woj's method differs from other parenting books, emphasizing values. She proposes the "T.R.I.C.K" basic values, which are Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness; each corresponds directly to the skills children need most in the real world. This is why more and more multinational corporations and schools at all levels are starting to adopt this method. The book uses stories to guide, combined with practical methods, to answer parents' questions at various stages of parenting.
Confident parenting starts with believing in yourself—only you know what's best for your child.
Can't children sleep through the night, or are they afraid to sleep alone?
From the development of each stage starting with sleep, what children need most is a sense of trust.
Parents' task is to provide a safe environment and then trust that children can take care of themselves.
Communicating with children about future aspirations always ends in a falling out?
Respect children's desire to take a different path than you expect, while also requiring children to be responsible for their choices.
Before finding passion, there will definitely be confusion and detours; the key is that children are "doing things."
Children's homework later becomes a competition between parents?
Practice letting go and let the children lead the way. Doing too much for children will make them afraid to make decisions when they grow up.
Training independence is also cultivating resilience; it's better for children to experience failure early and also to be brave early.
What if children can't handle their emotions and don't know how to get along with others?
Turn the parent-child relationship into a collaborative relationship, let children participate in more decisions, and learn to solve problems together at home.
Emotional outbursts, clinging to phones, and bad habits are hard to change; it's not just the children who need to change, but the parents as well.
Children don't care about anything other than their schoolwork, and they are not very willing to share or express gratitude?
Grades are important, but empathy is what truly helps children succeed in school and at work.
In the most narcissistic and unhappy era, teach children to find meaning and a sense of accomplishment from giving.
Facing an unpredictable future, we cannot ensure that children are fully prepared,
What parents can do is establish core values for their children,
No matter what challenges they face, children can believe that they can overcome them.
## Content Summary:
### TRICK (Trust, Respect, Independence, collaboration, kindness)
The author's parenting principles focus on "trust," "respect," "independence," "collaboration," and "kindness" for children. Among them, "trust" is placed first.
## The First Step in Parenting: Re-examining Our Childhoods
When the author was young, her family was poor, and her mother was from a single-parent family. And there was no better education. This led to an accident that took the author's younger brother. Because the author's father was a very unequal person, and often conveyed at home that boys were more important, fortunately, the author was a person who liked to read, because she didn't like to stay at home, so she left all her energy in the library. After having her own family, the author had many expectations for herself. Due to the insecurity of her childhood, and the sigh of education, she later had the "attachment theory".
Examine the bad parts of your own growth experience, find the problems, and try to avoid them from happening in your own family. Because "attachment theory" allows many children who grow up in domestic violence to also have a high probability of dealing with things with violence in their own families when they grow up.
### Attachment Theory:
Proposed by a psychologist from the University of Minnesota in 1970, "attachment experience lays the foundation for the core components of attitude, motivation, and emotion, which is also a springboard for entering the peer world and coping with subsequent challenges."
## TRUST: Children's deepest emotional connection starts with "a sense of security"
Looking back at yourself, what is the most profound parent-child conversation for you? It may all be related to "a sense of security". Whether it's your parents not trusting you, or them actively thinking you've grown up. They are the deepest connections in your heart. Our children will be the same.
### Interesting stories about a sense of security
Here's a very exaggerated little story, the author is now a grandmother. One day, she took her grandson to school. She first sent her 12-year-old grandson to get a haircut and let him discuss the hairstyle with the designer himself. Then she took her two eight-year-old granddaughters to the department store. Let the two of them go shopping by themselves. Buy the stationery they need.
Although she was finally scolded to death by her daughter, it can really be seen that the author really believes that the children can handle things themselves. (Of course, I can't accept it either.)
## RESPECT: Respect your children and let them live their own lives
Here, there is also a story shared. Originally, her daughter, Anne, got a position in the biotech investment department after graduating from university. But Anne didn't want to quit her current part-time babysitting job. This also made the author very nervous. She had a great opportunity, but she wanted to be a babysitter?! However, the author was also very patient and respected her choice.
The most important thing is that Anne started to feel that her choice was wrong after a few weeks. At this time, don't say "I Told you so". Let the children choose and regret their decisions themselves. Only then can they focus more on their later choices.
## INDEPENDENCE: Don't rush to help
When foreign parents see their children crying, they don't immediately pick them up. It's the same when children are noisy; there's no need to be angry with them, but you need to communicate with them well to know their needs. Give them the lead and then be responsible for themselves.
### Ten Commandments of Technology
- Make plans together, not set rules for children.
- Don't use your phone at mealtimes.
- After bedtime, you can't use your phone.
- Start using a phone at the age of four, and start learning how to use a phone to complete homework in the third grade of elementary school.
- When traveling with the family, you should also set rules for using phones.
- After the age of eight, you should be able to control yourself.
- Parents should also set an example
- Understand what can be photographed and what can be recorded.
- Explain cyberbullying.
- Teach children not to reveal personal information casually.
### Grit
Persisting in doing one thing, no matter how difficult, and no matter how many obstacles you have to face in the process.
## COLLABORATION: Give children appropriate choices, cultivate judgment and collaboration skills
Two-year-old children can also feel the same joy of achieving their own goals after helping other children achieve their goals. After the age of three, they should learn the responsibilities and methods of partnership and cooperation.
## KINDNESS: Dealing with emotions, changing habits, and other difficult problems.
- Punctuality is very important
- How you present yourself shows your degree of respect for the other person.
- If adults talk to children very gently, children will also be friendly.
- Life skills must be demonstrated to children
- How parents use 3C products, children will also learn.
- How to run a family will also allow children to learn.
- How to communicate and discuss will also allow children to learn.
- Out of control shouting, children will observe.
- We cannot control luck, but we can control how we respond.
# Thoughts:
This book really shares not only the author's educational methods as a parent of three successful daughters, but also her educational philosophy as a school teacher. The two are perfectly combined. First of all, to give children a good education, you must examine your own growth and education. You have to think about whether you have some bad experiences, and you also hope that similar things will not happen to you.
After that, use the TRICK (Trust, Respect, Independence, collaboration, kindness) education method. For children, the most important thing is "trust", and the parents' own example is even more important. It mentions the control of 3C appliances: You can often see many parents using 3C to discipline their children, but that is also because they themselves are inseparable from their phones, which causes children to have similar problems.
Trying to listen to the children's thoughts, not being overly out of control and shouting, are all courses that parents need to keep learning.
Top comments (0)