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Imposter Syndrome, Anxiety && Me

Kim Arnett  on August 06, 2019

Hey there, it's me. It's been quite a while since I've posted, so I'd like to take this opportunity to dump a lot of thoughts, struggles and vulner...
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Vaidehi Joshi

Just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to reflect on, write about, and share this. It's so important for visible folks in our industry to talk about this to normalize these experiences, and I so appreciate you doing that ❤️

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Kim Arnett 

Thank you 💚

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SyntaxSeed (Sherri W)

This is a topic I have soo many thoughts about!! ❤️

I've had 3 children during my career as a developer & an extended 7-year stint as a full-time mom, only working very part-time on dev projects during that time.

These problems are very real. And unfortunately the challenges compound if you have more babies. The 'pregnancy-brain' (a horrible mix of nutrient-drain, dehydration, sleep-deprivation, distraction with thoughts & worries, and the exhausting hyper-alertness you have when taking care of young children & babies) only compounds on itself over time.

And time outside of our rapidly changing industry is difficult.

The good news is that it isn't permenent. Your focus will return both with proper self-care (drink water, sleep, recuperate nutrients) and as your children grow less in need of hyper-vigilance (approx 2-3yrs old).

My focus is fully back, and I used my out of industry time to binge a ton of learning resources & tackle projects I'd never have done otherwise.

Not to mention my 3 amazing sons. Worth it x 1000!

We need to talk about this more, to normalise & raise awareness of women's issues in our industry. Creating life, has some side-effects on our professional lives - that is very OK & should come with support from our colleagues & employers.

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Kim Arnett 

💙💚💙💚

glad to hear pregnancy brain retreats... it’s been 2 months and I’m still struggling. Lol. Thank you for sharing 😊

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SyntaxSeed (Sherri W)

When you get back to a regular full night's sleep it makes a dramatic difference! Each baby is different in that regard though!

My kids are forbidden from waking up before 6:30am. And we established them on a super early bedtime of 7:30pm... even my 5 & 7 year olds. Mostly for my & my husband's sanity. 😂

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Sarah Chima

Hi Kim, thanks for sharing your experience. We need more blog posts like this that are real and address women issues that people hardly talk in this male dominated field.

Btw, giving a talk while pregnant is super awesome.

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Kim Arnett 

Thank you Sarah!

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Erika Heidi

Thank you so much for sharing this, Kim! It resonates pretty well with my personal experience; I'd say pregnancy was a professional roller-coaster for me, I actually even changed to a different role in the company I was working for, it was a turbulent period with strong emotions and confusion. I also felt kind of embarrassed to ask for time off or just to pause for some rest when I needed. I didn't want to feel like a burden to my colleagues, even though I had all the support from my manager. Now talk about coming back to work... Another roller-coaster. It took me two and a half years :)

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Kim Arnett 

Oh wow. Thank you for sharing Erika, we’ll make it through 🙌🏼🙏🏼🙌🏼 Somehow. 😊

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Simon Newby

This is an amazing thing about Czech Republic, by law you can have up to three years. If you rejoin the firm within that period then have another, another three year cycle. Admittedly you yet 2/3 your monthly salary after a certain period but its not terrible.

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nulf

Thanks for sharing you experience! Almost two years in at a company that tries to tell me I'm very well appreciated but that imposter syndrome keeps creeping back up. The realization I need to take breaks helped me a lot. Even if it is for 15 minutes to take a walk or a week of to decompress.

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Dave

I would LOVE to have someone with your attitude to work/productivity/life balance on my team, and all I know about you is this one post...

Please try to remember to tell that to the imposter syndrome whenever it appears. Expedia are VERY lucky to have you!

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Kim Arnett 

Thank you Dave <3

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Carlos Caballero

Hi Kim!

Thanks very much for sharing your experience. In my opinion, it is very useful for colleagues that are in the same situation as you.

Thanks!