DEV Community

Cover image for Why my first "Scheduling Algorithm" was written with a Pencil and a TV Guide
Andy Stewart
Andy Stewart

Posted on

Why my first "Scheduling Algorithm" was written with a Pencil and a TV Guide

The Global Namespace Collision
My name is Wang Yong. In Mainland China, "Wang Yong" is a classic case of Global Namespace Pollution. It’s as common as naming a variable i in a for-loop.

In my country, you’ll see signs for "Wang Yong’s Roasted Chestnuts" or "Wang Yong’s Crispy Pig Feet." According to the street signs, I apparently own a massive franchise of snack stalls. Sometimes, when I’m actually buying pig feet, I’m tempted to tell the owner, "Hey, I’m the 'Root' Wang Yong, can I get a 20% discount?" The Bug Report: Legend has it I was nameless for a week because my dad’s "naming function" kept returning null. Eventually, my grandma pushed a hotfix: "Just call him Yong (Brave)." I swore right then that if I ever had a daughter, I’d give her a unique UUID to save her from a lifetime of being roasted as a living meme.

Implementing the "TV Guide" Scheduler
Back then, China had no internet or personal computers. Our only window to the world was a CRT TV screen. To optimize my weekend "uptime," I developed my first Job Scheduling Algorithm.

Every Saturday morning, I’d take a pencil and the "TV Guide" newspaper. I’d circle every cartoon across different channels, mapping out a precise timeline to minimize switching latency.

I grew up on Transformers and Saint Seiya, but the "High-Tech" stack that truly corrupted my young mind consisted of Star Trek (the "Giant Flying Plate"), Knight Rider, and Back to the Future.

Manual "Augmented Reality" (The 8-bit Era)
Before I had a GPU, I had a sofa. I didn't have money for high-end toys like LEGO, so I played what I now call Manual Augmented Reality.

I’d take a toy car and run mental simulations of it traversing complex terrains—desks, chairs, or the "mountain ranges" formed by folds in my bedsheets.

Database Seeding & The Snack Exploit
My family ran a small business, and there was a particular snack that came with a collectible toy soldier inside. I wanted to build a full army—a complete Unit Collection.

One day, I performed a Mass Insert: I secretly tore open 30 bags of snacks just to harvest the soldiers. To hide the evidence, I dumped all the actual food into my backpack. I never did eat them; they were "garbage collected" by whichever family member eventually washed my bag and found the soggy remains of my secret cache.

The first ten years of my life were spent in a blur of curiosity. I was already debugging my name, scheduling tasks, and simulating 3D environments without a single line of code. It turns out, being a Linux expert isn't just about knowing the commands—it's about the mindset you develop when you're "bored" enough to hack your own reality.

What was the first "low-tech" hack you did as a kid that proved you were destined to be a developer? Let me know in the comments!

Top comments (0)