Every developer has that moment where they stop, stare at their screen, and think:
“Why am I like this?”
And yet… we keep doing these same chaotic little habits.
Let’s expose ourselves together.
1. Console.log — Our Emotional Support System
Sure, we have debugging tools. Sure, we could set breakpoints.
But no. We choose the classic:
console.log("here");
console.log("here again?");
console.log("WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING");
We aren’t debugging the code — we’re debugging our mental stability.
2. Variable Names That Age Like Spoiled Milk
We say we want clean code.
We create:
- temp
- temp1
- tempOne
- tempOneFinal
- tempOneFinal2
- tempOne_FINAL_REAL
At this point, even the compiler is disappointed in us.
3. Reading Error Messages Like Horoscopes
Error: Unexpected token }
Us:
“Hmmm yes… this means I will have good luck today.”
4. Googling Stuff We Use Every Day
We use map, filter, reduce daily.
Still we Google:
- javascript map example
- reduce how to use
- why javascript hates me
We don’t trust our memory. Our memory doesn’t trust us.
5. Restarting the Server for Absolutely No Reason
Did we fix anything? No.
Restart anyway? Yes.
Does it magically work? Sometimes.
This is called Software Engineering + Blind Hope.
6. 47 Browser Tabs, But Only 2 Matter
We won’t close the other 45.
They are emotional support tabs.
7. Dark Mode or Nothing
A bright white website at 3AM is an act of violence.
Dark mode is not a preference — it’s survival.
8. Git Conflicts = Personal Conflicts
git pull → conflict
git merge → regret
git push --force → your teammates dislike you now
Git is basically a toxic relationship we can’t leave.
9. “I’ll Refactor This Later.”
No, you won’t.
Nobody ever has.
Nobody ever will.
This is the biggest lie in programming — right after “just a small change”.
10. Breaking the Entire App by Changing One Line
Fix one CSS property → backend dies
Remove one console.log → UI disappears
Add one import → build fails
Full-stack life: touch one thing, break ten things.
11. Celebrating Tiny Fixes Like We Won a Nobel Prize
Fixed a missing semicolon?
We reward ourselves with:
- snacks
- a walk
- announcements
- swagger
- maybe even a LinkedIn post
Small wins are still wins.
12. Pretending We Understand Legacy Code
We scroll.
We squint.
We pretend.
We close the file.
Not today, demon code. Not today.
Final Thoughts
Every developer is a little broken inside — and the code knows it.
But that’s what makes this job fun. The chaos. The coffee. The suffering we laugh about later.
If you relate to at least 7 out of 12,
congratulations — you are a real developer.
Top comments (0)