Not sure if this is the right platform, but I will move this post to a self-hosted blog setup. I am not finding time to set it up due to my new job. But soon! I wanted to post this as this is a special day. A special day to be alive! This day is the most meaningful day of my life. It changed me as a person and my way of looking at things.
Till then bear with me!
Don't be alarmed, I am not in due to the COVID! Usually, we share all the happy moments here, and what a perfect life we have, right? If only that was true! I thought I'd share my story, as life is not always perfect as it seems on the surface and it might also help someone going through a difficult phase of life.
When life hits you, it really hits you hard.
This day two years ago (6th of April 2019, around 8 pm). I did the biggest blunder(calling it a blunder as I am someone who is very careful and sensitive) of my life. I met with a horrible accident, broke my pelvis (like who even breaks that), and back. I lost the sensation of touch and toe movement on my right leg due to nerve damage. I was in the hospital for a month and rehab for another two, where I was taught how to walk again. Doctors said I was lucky as could have been paralyzed or dead that day. But I wasn't feeling lucky, the pain was unbearable.
On a scale of 1 - 5, the pain was 100, during the initial few weeks, even on slightest of movement I use to scream. There I was lying on the bed straight couldn't move or even turn. I am someone who likes to sleep on my stomach but couldn't do that anymore. The initial few days went sleepless. Doctors said they are not sure when I'll be able to walk again. It was hard for me to accept the reality, I was living in denial for the first few days. I wished it was all a bad dream.
The fact I might be in a wheelchair haunted me like anything and I went through horrible anxiety which wasn't helping my recovery.
But I never cried due to pain. I cried when I saw my mom crying and losing hope for me walking properly.
Going into an MRI machine was the most horrible part, as I had to shift beds and due to that movement, I use to get electric shocks in my legs (nerves were being pressed). I use to scream!
Slowly my friends and family started visiting me, almost everyone I knew from my office came with books and chocolates, I was being pampered 🥰. My friends use to visit me every day, but after everyone left at the end of the day, I was left with a thought of me lying on the bed without a discharge date.
After a few weeks as I regained some movement, I was shifted to a rehab facility using a stretcher. There I was given physiotherapy to regain back the muscle mass I lost. The funny thing was everyone in that facility must be above 60 except me 😂.
I was feeling so stupid, and the regret was eating me up. I was cursing myself to make those decisions that led to that. But I knew I had to make my peace with it and accept the reality. Anyhow, I couldn't change the past now.
I was showing signs of recovery, thanks to all the nursing staff, they really worked hard on my recovery. After a few weeks, the doctor asked me to attempt to walk using a walker. I was afraid as I might break that bone again by putting pressure on it. The first time I tried to sit upright I almost fainted, as my body was not used to being in that position for a long time.
Slowly I started walking using the walker. I went to pee after so long on my own, I was very happy, can't describe the feeling here. I realized the value of things I took for granted, as simple as walking and going to the washroom on my own. But it was a long way to go, as I had to get rid of the walker and I still couldn't feel much on my right foot.
My friends visited me every evening and they use to help me walk again. Though they use to make fun of me as I was walking like people in their 90s. They use to make sure I laugh all the time we spend together. I needed all the positivity so I started having music therapy (we use to sing Enrique a lot), reading books, and working from the hospital. Thanks to my super chill office people and culture!
Fast forward: Now I had hope that I could recover, though doctors were not certain that I could recover 100% and in how much time, some said 6 months or a year maybe.
I said no, fuck it! I'll be better than I was before (this was me speaking while using a walker). I started doing my research as to how to reverse nerve and muscle damage. Started reading a lot of research papers and contacting doctors abroad who were working on cutting-edge research.
I came to know, B12, CoQ10, certain Lipids, Zn, Mg, etc...were essential in the nerve recovery, ordered all of them. Fixed my diet, started reading a lot about living on a healthy diet. For muscle, it was straightforward, protein, and workout. Forget workout! even walking without walker support was painful.
I started slowly with 1 squat/day, to 5 then 10, 50, 100, then I never looked back. It used to hurt like anything, but I'd still do it. After 2.5 months I started going to the office with help of a stick, finally, I left the walker, another achievement unlocked.
I started going to the office regularly, slowly I can see my old life returning back, my friends and family took me for clubbing while I was still recovering. That day was super fun.
I remember I started running after 3 months...
A lot more happened in between, story for another day...
Thanks would be such a small word to use here, but my recovery wouldn't be possible without my friends and family. My dad left his business for a month just to be with me, and mom stayed with me for another two months. I don't think I can ever repay them, and I can do anything for my best friends and remember no matter what, your family will always be there for you.
I was sort of a person who was always chasing the best in their career and was willing to put that over friends and family any day. But that changed completely. I was either always busy running startups or hustling to build something new. Now I value relationships more than anything.
Now I am confident that I can handle most of the challenges life will throw at me, there is still a big room to grow, I still make mistakes, but I acknowledge them and work on them.
There are many things in life that I want to achieve and do, but I will do it with balance.
Folks, if you are going through a challenge in life that seems impossible to overcome, no matter if is it your injury, career, or relationship related. If you want something to happen.
Work towards it! Just don't give up! Work like there is no tomorrow!
I am on a journey to conquer my fears and anxieties.
I'll see you again. Soon!
PS: The best part of the whole thing was, I lost 8kgs 🤣
Top comments (2)
I am speechless, Naman.
I cannot even relate to what you might have gone through and am so happy to hear about the recovery you've made. More power to you!
Thanks Manyank bhai, means a lot. ❤