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Living alone, how do you cope up with anxiety, depression and stress from work or from the current events?

A few days ago my roommate just moved back to their province and I'm the only one left now. I'm used to living alone but not in this kind of situation where I'm limited on things that I can do like going outside to unwind or go to the mall, eat in a restaurant, see some of my friend, play outdoor sports.

Lately I find my self having hard time going to sleep at night, I'm having panic attacks which I didn't experienced before, worrying about things, getting sick and hard to focus at work. I'm worried that this can affect my performance in my current job.

Any advice on how to cope up in this kind of situation? Thank you keep safe and God Bless!

Latest comments (41)

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andrewbaisden profile image
Andrew Baisden

Messaging apps, video chat and online gaming is a godsend. You will never feel alone again

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johnfoderaro profile image
John Foderaro • Edited

I personally find exercise to be a great way to reduce anxiety and stress. Reading fiction is also another great way in which to keep your mind busy and occupied in a very engaging way.

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much. 😄

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jeantiston profile image
Jean Tiston

I feel you. I was in a similar situation. I used to live with my sister but she moved back to the province right before this whole situation happened. And even though I'm used to working remotely, I was always able to work in a cafe, meet with friends, or do whatever before all of this happened. So the recent events just made me feel stuck and anxious. So this is my advice (or well, this is what works for me)

  1. Know that it will pass. It might feel so awful sometimes especially when you're anxious and you spiral down into thinking the worst possible scenarios but it gets better eventually.
  2. Observe what triggers your anxieties or panic attacks. Being aware of what sets you off gives you the chance to either avoid it or if it's unavoidable to at least try to reframe your mindset about it.
  3. Talk to friends. You don't need to talk to them about what you feel cause I know that might be awkward sometimes but just connect with people and chat about trivial things or play online games together over zoom. (Jackbox games and Among Us are awesome for this)
  4. Don't force it. If you feel like you're less productive now than you used to, just accept it and roll with it. Don't feel bad for feeling bad.

All my advice sounds so... theoretical. So here's a practical tip. Try focusmate.com/ you can get a virtual co-working buddy and it's kinda nice to work with someone sometimes. :)

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mccurcio profile image
Matt Curcio

Really nice,
Thank you

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thanks you so much. God Bless :D

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andrew_losseff profile image
Andrew ⚛️ & ☕

Running every day + cold showers + reading.
Star slow, and add volume by tiny "pieces"
+100m to run, +10sec to cold showers.
And read good books.

I don't know if it'll work for you, but give it a shot)))

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much. I'll try to do your advice. God Bless :D

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anirudhjanga profile image
Anirudh Janga

I have had similar experience and here is what I think. It is a perfect time to explore the following.

  1. Mindfulness techniques and meditation.
  2. Going for a run. Creating monthly challenges is a great way to keep the motivation going.
  3. Reading non fiction books. I suggest bookauthority.org/ to explore different options. Monthly challenges can help in this category as well.
  4. Working from a coffee shop for couple of hours if any are open in your area.
  5. DIY projects, building a website & open source contributions.
  6. Cooking!
  7. Learning a music instrument.
  8. Listening to sleep stories in calm app or youtube. This has greatly helped me fall asleep like a baby.
  9. I personally enjoy coffee but switching to green tea might help with anxiety.
  10. Getting rid of things that you don’t need or remind you of painful experiences. Creating more space is definitely calming.

This is probably the best time to truly explore and experience this beautiful world & the universe.

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much, youre definitely right this is now the best time to learn new things. Keep safe and God Bless.

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panditapan profile image
Pandita

Well, these are some things that I do:

  • make sure your space feels like your own! and I mean in the sense that you should feel comfy and happy being in this space. Ex: change the layout of your furniture, add pictures, posters, make sure it's a bit tidy (I know it's a pain but it helps!!), make it smell nice, add plants, etc.

  • control what you consume. Opinions, twitter threads, the news, videos on youtube. Try to go for learning and not entertainment. Also, sensationalism is on the rise and news outlets have agendas. Make sure you're not falling for their traps :3

  • have hobbies outside of programming. While yeah programming is fun, you need your brain to do other things! It needs to cool down and what better way than having a hobby completely different from development. For example music, arts, gardening, cooking, writing, reading, etc.

  • exercise! this will tire you out and help you sleep better (I suffer from some sort of insomnia as well, it's terrible :c). If you have a Nintendo Switch I highly recommend getting the ringfit, it's pretty cool and fun :D

  • call family or friends. Just because we're stuck at home doesn't mean we can't socialize a bit, if you can, try to call your loved ones just to check up on them, it's refreshing c:

  • plan your week/journaling. I know you may not be moving about in your place, but I highly suggest sitting down, think about the stuff you want to do during the week (side projects, goals, payments, that stuff), and set days for when you want to do them. Also, try to write down interesting things that happened to you during the day. You can look back upon them later to remind yourself of how you were doing or what you were focusing on :3

  • sit in the morning and just write down everything you feel. This one I stole from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. She says to do it every day of your life but I did it for a few months and my golly did it help. As soon as you wake up, write down everything, EVERYTHING, doesn't matter how dumb, stupid, or whatever it is, for max 3 pages. I honestly did what I could, sometimes it would be half a page, other times it would be 4 or 5 pages. Let it go. Make sure that journal is private :3

  • it's okay to chill for a day or a week! Totally depends on your mood. Sometimes we need to rest, so just, after work, don't stress out about anything.

I hope this little essay can give you some ideas! Good luck :3

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much for your really awesome advice. Gob Bless :D

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sultanassi profile image
Sultan H.

I had really tough times with sleeping, waking up to my daily job, and kick-off my day as I usually did before all of the COVID-19 restrictions came along.

I'm their mate and there isn't an ultimatum magical solution to that.. but, since it's coming from inside "Mentally" and regardless of its because of the surrounding circumstances, it can be resolved from within.

Things I did, and that really makes me feel better on a daily bases:

  1. I revise my plans -call it dreams-, I keep drawing the imagination for myself acing the job I wanna be doing; it boosts my mental health, my confidence, and my productivity.. it all depends on really going deep within your mind, bumping the feeling you want to feel out of this imaginary picture you're drawing of your future self. I usually do it last thing before going to bed.

  2. I created a side-hustle to keep me busy, a side project that filled my time. Now I understand how hard it is to commit to a side-project, but, haven't you got a really crazy idea you have been waiting to do since you became a developer? it could be learning something new tho!

  3. I started communicating moreover on social-media, I lived around 5 years on my own, I was totally lost back then and it was really hard for me to talk to anyone, even the best of my friends and especially through social media, but it seems to be a good workaround nowadays.

And.. man, most importantly is for you to know that this is a temporary circumstance, and start dealing with it as if it's a lifestyle that was granted to you in order for you to make something great out of it! <3

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much. Keep safe and God Bless :D

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metruzanca profile image
Samuele Zanca

When you say work is stressing you out, do you actually mean that its challenging? If maybe it's stress related to talking to people e.g. some kind of presentation or not feeling adequate then I'm sorry but it's all self inflicted and you need to work on yourself instead of blaming the workplace. If. The prior, you need to work on speaking publicly if the latter then you need to remember that they hired you, if you were inadequate you'd be fired. If none of these and its actual stress then it's probably a sign that is the wrong job or bad workplace. Work shouldn't be stressful.

In regards to the outside world's happenings, simply learn to give less of a fuck. Not giving a fuck is really quite invigorating.

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Hahahaha that was really nice advice thank you. :D

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juliofagundes profile image
Julio Fagundes

+0.01 cent
Go get new friends, experiences, by keeping open to know new people. Small Talks are always good to show a little from you.
Invite ppl to go a common places in town.
Go outside, travel, even alone.

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hrishio profile image
Hrishi Mittal

No.1 thing I would say is get outside as much as possible (based on restrictions where you are).

Do physical stuff - build things with your hands, exercise, go for long walks.

Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a weird time for everyone. If productivity dips a bit, it doesn't matter. This too shall pass.

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mby profile image
Buğra Yıldız

This is your most valuable time. You're not alone, so don't feel alone. Take time to enjoy stuff around you, let the universe exprience itself through your eyes, hands, thoughts.

Go to the 25th hour maybe?

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mccurcio profile image
Matt Curcio

OK, got me...
What is the "25th hour maybe?"

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mby profile image
Buğra Yıldız

You take a cup of something you like to drink, go outside.

Then you stop, find somewhere away from the crowd but still sees it. You sit and start the watch all the fuss from there. Life becomes a movie alike scene at that time, you suddenly start to enjoy seeing those lost-in-future people.

that's 25th hour everyone

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much, now I feel a lot better. :D

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valentinbcn profile image
Valentin

I just moved to another city for a new job 3 months ago, I know no one, so sometimes can be hard but trying your best is the best options, here is a couple of things I like to do

  • Playing video games
  • (i had to build my own computer)((good fun))

  • I joined a meetup group, sometimes I go sometimes not, meeting international people it's fun, i'm a social person

  • I had a girlfriend the first month, It didn't work, I'm moving along

  • I just joined a climbing class last week

  • I stopped taking online class and stuff like that, now I'm just playing video games, listening music I feel the need to chill in a way

  • I bought a shitty bike and rebuilt it entirely (still shitty tho) but sometimes I take it and just visit the town (I take it to go to work too)

Some moments are really hard, the loneliness is hardcore but I try to enjoy being alone and find way to meet people, things will get better with time and good will :)

(sorry for my bad english it's not my native langage)

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much that was a really nice advice :D

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richardoey profile image
RichardOey

Hi, I also feel the same too, but not exactly in the same situation. You could identify your feeling, and it's good because you are still aware with your condition. I don't think I am the right person to suggest you something because until now, I am still facing the anxiety, envy with someones lives, and have too much expectation in lives, and you must know in the internet, meditation is the effective way to beat this state of emotion. I do regularly meditation every morning now, and it affects me a little bit. Maybe, after several months practicing this, I could feel the difference significantly. Moreover, learn about Stoicsm is a good way too. The point is, mindfulness. I learnt some from these videos, hope they could help.

youtu.be/vzKryaN44ss

youtu.be/w6T02g5hnT4

youtu.be/R9OCA6UFE-0

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mccurcio profile image
Matt Curcio

Very nice vids,
Thank you

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you so much for your advice! I'll try to meditate more, I've only tried in a few times and I can say meditation really helps me to clear my mind and help me to focus more after. Keep safe and God Bless :D

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arthurespinoza profile image
Arturo Espinoza Quintero

Well... Sometimes if I feel very lonely I stop the job or the tasks I am doing, then I make a cup of coffee or any hot drink and start playing videogames or watching series.

The point here is that you must keep your mind distracted, do something you like and you enjoy

Hope my words make any help. Greetings

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penandpapers profile image
PenAndPapers

Thank you, I'll try to keep myself busy and do things I enjoy more. Keep safe and God Bless! :D

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