1. I don’t have it all figured out
When I first started out, I thought that by now I’d have found my niche in tech. I imagined I’d be confidently calling myself a frontend expert or clearly walking one defined path.
Well that hasn’t happened yet and I’m learning to be okay with that.
What I’ve realized instead is that I’m someone who uses technology based on need. If a project requires data analysis, I’ll lean into data. If it needs automation, I’ll build it. If integrating LLMs makes sense, I’ll explore that too. Not because data or AI is my niche, but because the problem demanded certain tools and principles.
Maybe my path isn’t about narrowing down quickly. Maybe it’s about learning how to adapt, explore, and build what’s needed and letting clarity emerge with time.
2. I still Google syntax and concepts
A lot.
Mention something unfamiliar to me and I’m probably already opening a new tab to understand it better. I used to think that by now, things should just stick, that knowing how to code meant memorizing syntax and concepts.
What I’m slowly unlearning is this: good developers aren’t walking encyclopedias. They’re problem solvers.
Googling isn’t a weakness; it’s part of the workflow. It’s how things get built. Accepting this has helped me stop measuring my competence by how much I can recall, and start measuring it by how well I can figure things out.
3. There are moments impostor syndrome gets the best of me
Especially when I’m in rooms with people who sound more confident, move fast, and seem to know exactly what they’re doing.
Sometimes it shows up quietly in the form of a small voice asking if I really belong here. Other times it’s loud, convincing me I’m behind or just pretending. But I’ve started to notice something: impostor syndrome tends to show up when I care deeply, when I’m stretching myself, and when I’m stepping into spaces that challenge me.
And maybe that’s not a sign of inadequacy,maybe it’s a sign of growth.
How Am I Coping?
1. By surrounding myself with developers who’ve been where I am
Not people who pretend the journey was easy, but people who remember what it felt like to be confused, unsure, and still showing up.
Being in community has reminded me that many of the struggles I experience aren’t personal failures, rather they’re shared experiences. Seeing others a few steps ahead who once stood where I am gives me perspective, reassurance, and hope.
2. By putting myself in rooms that stretch me
Not to compare myself or shrink, but to listen, connect, and learn.
Truth be told, it’s uncomfortable sometimes. I don’t always feel like I have something impressive to say. But I’m learning that growth rarely happens in isolation or comfort. It happens when you stay in the room long enough to listen, ask questions, and allow yourself to be seen.
3. By doing things that scare me: like writing this post
This has been on my to-do list since January. Not because I didn’t have time, but because I was afraid of being perceived. Afraid of saying the wrong thing. Afraid of not sounding “ready.”
Publishing this feels like winning a battle against self
A small introduction
Hi there,
I’m Nessah, well it's Vanessa(but feel free to call me Nessah)
I'm just a techie navigating the uncharted waters of this industry.
Welcome to my tech journal.
It's not a highlight reel, but a record. A place to think out loud, document what I’m learning, and make sense of the work as it unfolds.
Here you’ll find technical notes, half-formed ideas, lessons that only make sense after you trip over them, and reflections from navigating an industry that moves fast and rarely waits for certainty.
Please be nice😊
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