The interactions we have with other people help form the environment we work in. If we treat people with respect, care, and interest, the environment will inevitably become an attraction.
There are a few things I try to do on my quest to be a better human to help others feel comfortable and cared for. I know these things will not resonate with everyone, but I have experienced better relationships with my peers due in part to these habits.
1. Physically take note of things people mention
When someone mentions something about themselves, I try to write it down. It's okay to study your relationships with others, and taking notes will make sure that you can follow up on their interests.
For example, if someone at work mentions they're leaving early on Friday because their daughter has a soccer game, I'll make a note and ask about it the following week.
2. Make sure everyone has a direct opportunity to speak
The opportunity part of this is important, because some people are more comfortable sitting back and listening, myself included. The issue is that some people inadvertently get pushed out of the conversation without a chance to get back in.
Be direct and supportive. If someone gets interrupted, address the original speaker immediately after and ask them what they were saying. If a story causes someone else to go down a tangent, make sure to loop back around to the original storyteller. If someone simply hasn't spoken in a while, try to steer the conversation to a place they'll feel more comfortable.
3. Show more excitement than expertise
If someone shares information with you about hobby or activity, give them your support in the form of excitement and questions rather than advice. Not every conversation needs to be a competition on who knows more about what. Even if you do know more, just enjoy the fact that you have something in common without intimidating them or belittling their interest and accomplishments.
Hopefully these short tips are helpful for building better relationships. They are subtle things but can be really powerful when they are applied with a mentality of care.
Top comments (1)
I love this tip. Admittedly taking notes on people can sound a bit creepy, but really it just helps you listen and notice (and remember). One variation I've heard is keeping notes on how you could help the people you meet, e.g. match-making.
Awesome post, Eric. Thanks!