Do any of the following describe you:
Working longer hours than you expected
Agreeing to things you do not want to agree to
Accumulating technical debt, because new tasks eat up all your time
Feeling manipulated into taking on responsibilities you do not want
Feeling pressured to accept deadlines you do not think are realistic
Getting burnt out, without any clear sustainable solution
Feeling disempowered, like you do not have the autonomy and self-direction you expected you would have
If so, you are in good company. Many of my colleagues, and I would say many people who work in technology, have the same issue.
I could write thousands of words on the root cause of this, and the strategy of what to do about it.
But instead, I will cut to the chase:
The reason you have these problems is that you do not know how to set boundaries properly, in your interactions at work, and without causing negative consequences.
The solution is to learn HOW to safely set those boundaries, and then set them.
To do this, get the book titled:
"When I Say No, I Feel Guilty"
Written by Manuel J. Smith. You can find it anywhere, but make sure you buy it new, not used (it is extremely cheap). And buy the print version, not digital or audiobook.
Skip the front matter and chapter 1; go directly to the first page of chapter 2. Read chapters 2, 3 and 4. They will teach you something called the "Broken Record" technique.
Then pause reading, and write in a journal (paper or digital) about how you can use Broken Record in specific situations at work.
For extra impact: over the next week, write a quick note in that journal every day, about how you were able to use Broken Record, and what the results were; AND any opportunities that day where you could have used Broken Record, but did not realize it in the moment. This will help you use it when that situation repeats.
If you do this, you will have a lifelong skill that will increase your dominion over your own life, and help you avoid feeling overwhelmed in the future.
Top comments (0)