Let's start with some very real and common situations.
It's 2 AM and you're trying to fix production after another quick release.
Or the customer is rushing you to complete the task, writing every 20 minutes and asking about progress, which prevents you from focusing on the task.
Or the project manager once again reprimands you in a raised voice about incorrectly tracked time or exaggerated estimates in tickets.
All of these are forms of pressure on a person and a test of their stress resistance.
Some people do it consciously, while others do not.
In any case, this results in stress for the developer, unnecessary anxiety, or even burnout.
I have been through this dozens of times myself, and in this article I will try to explain how I minimize the damage from this kind of communication.
- First and foremost, remain calm and professional.
Don't respond to pressure with aggression or discontent; this will lead to even greater unpleasantness and will certainly not spare your nerves. Instead, try to look at the situation through the eyes of the other person and don't take anything personally. A good solution would be to agree with the person and say what they want to hear. Do what they want if this is okay for you. This will save you energy and time.
- Analyze their behaviour
Try to analyze the situation when you calm down. Maybe this argument was a one-off and won't happen again. Conversely, notice if they use pressure as a means of controlling their employees. Some managers and companies cannot manage their employees except through fear. It also often happens that everything works itself out on its own.
But try not to make too many assumptions. Ask questions and communicate clearly when it's possible to avoid misunderstandings.
- Different types of thinking
Don't forget about the significant differences between developers and managers. If your manager is a hard-working developer who doesn't criticize your code for every little thing, you're very lucky, but more often than not, management roles are more stringent in nature.
Keep this in mind when you go to a personal meeting with non-technical people, and try to put work out of your mind and prepare for a bunch of personal questions and answers to them. This can protect you from unexpected situations.
The manager's job is to supervise you. Your job is to develop the product. You have the right not to waste time on empty chatter, to stay away from meetings, and to benefit the company with your brainpower.
Set boundaries, turn off notifications, and cancel meetings when possible. This will help you stay focused and avoid arguments. You can always say you were busy.
- Don't hold anything bad in your mind
Distract yourself with something you enjoy, listen to music, do something neutral that will calm you down and take your mind off work.
Most often, you have to accept people as they are and move on.
- Take everything as an experience
Usually, after a dozen different conflict situations, you gain experience and understand how to respond to them. You can also always talk about some of the situations during an interview and how you resolved them peacefully.
That's it for today. Stay calm and enjoy programming.
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