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Blake Campbell
Blake Campbell

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The truth about Open Source Developers. (WDS #2)

Disclaimer this is 100% satire. For fun on a Friday (Web Dev Satire #2)

Screen Shot 2021-05-14 at 11.07.55 AM

Open Source developers make a lot

As you can see from this chart, I didn't exaggerate that open-source developers make way more than FAANG Developers. This might be the single driving factor in deciding to make a project open-source.

It's the fastest and most secure way to grab the bag and start buying houses like it's Monopoly. Anyone who tells you Open-source developers don't make this much, well, those are paid actors.

OS developers love vague issues

One of the best ways to support OS is making vague issues that don't relate to the project. Got to keep those developers on their toes. Sometimes they get lonely. Remind them that you care, just not enough to duplicate the issue or provide any practical information. If you include a version number, you've gone too far.

Screen Shot 2021-05-14 at 11.19.24 AM

Complain and add nothing on an open issue

If you do find a valid issue on Github, complain. Dog-pile on it as much as you can.

Here are some phrases the OS developers love:

  • "This is stupid, why does it work this way?"
  • "Same"
  • "The docs are useless"
  • "Can you fix this today?"
  • "Help." (That's the entire comment)

Rant about GitHub activity

Why are you making a billion dollars a year when you only commit a few times? Who cares about raising money so you can keep the project alive, I want my free project now!

Star the project and keep moving, even if you work at a Fortune 500 company

Source: David K Piano go give him a follow on Twitter. This picture is too good not to include.

Bonus points if you can get your company to send a box of chocolates or a few stickers to that project the company depends on. The margins are so razor-thin for F500 companies that a box of chocolates might be a stretch.

In case it isn't clear by now, this is satire! Web Dev has gotten so full of uninformed opinions, I thought I'd poke some fun. To all Open-source developers, you're great. The community wouldn't be the same without you! Happy Friday!

Some of my favorite OS Developers. Thank you!
Henry at BabelJS
Evan You of VueJS
Guillaume Chau of VueJS

Real of open source developers

Top comments (1)

ra1nbow1 profile image
Matvey Romanov

Best cover image