Part 2 (continuation...)
As you can see, I have written "Life in Depression", not "with depression", I just noticed the mistake and wanted to change it, but didn't. Because I can't help but feel it's a divine typo, like it fits perfectly into the narrative because there is no life with depression, it's either life or it's depression entirely, life and depression can't co-exist, it's one or another.
Now, the thing that has been bothering me for a while is that I have been around a few quotes lately on social media that "depression is real, but not everybody sad has depression." This was a very triggering thought for me since I have battled with validation for a long time. I lost the ability to differentiate between right and wrong midway during my time with it and between what was real and what was not real (dissociation & disconnection)...
So does that mean that everybody who has depression has to think before labeling it? well, no, in my opinion, because mostly things are what you think they are, if you feel something's wrong, there is something wrong. Like it happened with me when I was suffering with it, I just couldn't pinpoint what was wrong with me, and I didn't know what was happening. where was the world going? how was everyone happy? how could a person smile if they knew what I knew? there were some things which were hard for me to bear, and that was the reason for a shredded reality that gets created apart from the "reality" reality, you know what I mean.
Depression is so badly disorienting that it might just keep you in a loop of self-blame and never let you escape, and that's why you had to label it to get better(well, that's just my opinion). For years, I craved this one thing only, that is, wanting a label and validation that there was something truly wrong, but I couldn't since I didn't know what was wrong with me. But yes, you need to get it checked and label it correctly, for what is it that you are going through? that's a given.
to be continued...
Top comments (3)
I’ve been there too, and something that’s oddly helped me stay grounded is using CBD Isolate during rough patches. It doesn’t get you high, but it helped me calm down enough to make it through the day when my brain wouldn’t stop spinning. Everyone's different, but I figured even small things that make life less heavy can be worth trying.
I see it’s been a while since this was posted, but I just want to ask—have any of you found something small that helped get through the tough days? For me, it wasn’t big life changes but tiny things, like taking a walk without my phone or finally doing the dishes after a week. Curious what’s worked (or totally didn’t work) for others going through similar stuff.
I started tracking my days with a super simple journal—just writing how I feel, no pressure. It helped me notice patterns and slowly made things feel a bit less overwhelming.