DEV Community

Cover image for Do You Question Life's Unwritten Rules?
dev.to staff for The DEV Team

Posted on

Do You Question Life's Unwritten Rules?

Can you share a personal experience where questioning a long-held assumption led to positive change or growth?

How can we encourage a culture of critical thinking and curiosity to challenge assumptions in our workplaces or communities?


Follow the DEVteam for more discussions and online camaraderie!

Top comments (4)

Collapse
 
harry176 profile image
Harry

Great question. I'm doing this more as I get older.

  • Being conscious of the fact that marriage is a social construct had a positive impact on me. It is not the ultimate end goal of life - you've not failed at life if you never marry another person. You are same person whether single, monogamous, polygamous, or married, and importantly, every state and variation of relationship in between.
  • It had a positive effect on me when I learned that there's nothing you can do in your life that can make you more perfect than you are right now. We get sucked in to wanting or doing certain things for purposes other than our curiousity. If you sit on the couch playing video games your whole life, or you're a gold medal olympian, it doesn't matter. You're the same person. The rest is ego. The important part is do what you're curious about and not to interfere with other people doing the same.
  • The increased number of occasions throughout the year has made it absurd to give physical gifts every time. It is a habit perpetuated by the notion that you're a bad person if you don't. I sell on gifts that I receive, I politely let people know that I don't want physical gifts, and I don't give gifts if I feel the desperation seep in when thinking about what someone needs. Sometimes people just...have everything they need.

The most important thing you can do to encourage a culture of critical thinking is to stop labelling everything. Questioning narratives does not instantly make you a conspiracy theorist, you're just not close-minded. If you hear someone say "That's blahblah-ist!!! 😱😱" or "That person is a blahblah-ist/left-wing/right-wing" it's just another example of an exceptionally nuanced and complex topic being condensed into one word, ready for the individual mind to apply its bias to.

Collapse
 
programcrafter profile image
ProgramCrafter

There are two cultures - asking and guessing - which are unwritten but easily conflict with each other.

In "ask culture," it's socially acceptable to ask for a favor -- staying over at a friend's house, requesting a raise or a letter of recommendation -- and equally acceptable to refuse a favor. Asking is literally just inquiring if the request will be granted, and it's never wrong to ask, provided you know you might be refused. In "guess culture," however, you're expected to guess if your request is appropriate, and you are rude if you accidentally make a request that's judged excessive or inappropriate.

I believe developers' community is actually ask-centred, with open source movement where anyone can send pull requests, but the problem still exists.

Collapse
 
stefanmoore profile image
Stefan Moore

Yeah everyday. I won't get into my rambling thougths, but getting older is making me thinking things.