Stoic in Modern Times

My take on Stoicism: where it matches my principles, and where I push back

TLDR: Many Stoic ideas align with principles I already have. Where they don't, I push back, especially on consistency and on indifference, the Stoic view that externals are "indifferent".

Stoicism's goal is simple. Strive to be virtuous.

So, this is how Stoicism lines up with my own experience and principles, as a person.

Four virtues, one ruler

Stoics break virtue into four parts. Here's how I understand each, and what it looks like in modern work.

Wisdom. Clear perception and sound judgment about what matters and how to act. Ask yourself: what is actually true and appropriate here? It's choosing the simple path instead of overcomplicating things.

Courage. Acting rightly despite fear, discomfort, or uncertainty. Ask yourself: am I avoiding the right action because it's uncomfortable? It's giving honest feedback, or owning a mistake.

Justice. Integrity and fairness toward others, and contributing to the common good. Ask yourself: is this fair, honest, and respectful to others? It's not taking credit for others' work, and treating everyone with respect.

Temperance. Self-mastery over impulses so reason stays in control. Ask yourself: am I driven by impulse, ego, or excess? It's staying calm during criticism, and not overworking until burnout.

Stoics measure a good life by these four. That's their "ruler". But, I have my own.

Measure yourself with your own ruler

Measuring yourself with your own ruler gives you freedom. Pursue what truly matters to you, without the burden of external comparison.

So, who am I? Here's my ruler:

• Striving for financial stability and security for my family. Having choices. Not compromising.
• Providing value to society.
• Encouraging fairness and justice.
• Aiming for skill and self-mastery.

The way I see it: wealth creates choice, choice gives time, and time gives happiness.

I also plan my life down to the lowest level, which is my day. This means I'm leading myself, not being led by others. I control what to prioritize.

Where I don't fully agree

Stoics say the only true measure of a good life is virtue. External things like health, status, and even length of life are "indifferent". They're not truly good or evil on their own, so using them as measures is misguided. Instead, measure how wise, just, courageous, and temperate you have been.

I don't get this one. For me, treating things like my family's financial security as "indifferent" sounds like compromise. Even careless.

But, Stoics also have what they call "preferred indifference". Things like wealth and health are fine to pursue, as long as you don't trade virtue for them. That softens my disagreement. Basically, pursue security for your family, but never by compromising virtue.

Another thing. Measuring with your own ruler makes it easy to absolutely not consider other people's rulers. But your ruler won't always be fully developed. There's always room to improve. So, explore and remain open-minded, as long as it encourages virtue.

What I do agree with: limit your exposure to environments that value comparison.

Work is a subset of life

Life has many subsets, and work is one of them. Taking a real break, spending time with your family, doing what you love outside work. Those are life's other subsets.

So, life !== work.

If it's working hours, work hard. If it's a break, take it intentionally.

Do you live to work? Or, do you work to live? This one is profound for me. Make money to buy time. That's why you work hard and get a good job.

Focus creates time

Think you need more time? Maybe you're not focusing well. No deep focus? Maybe your priorities are incorrect. Deep focus is basically what Cal Newport calls deep work.

Your work hours are scattered. Remember, the brain needs 40 to 60 minutes to get into flow. But you get distracted with other tasks, and not just scrolling. With that, productivity is messed up. You try to compensate by taking overtime (OT). Two hours of work becomes sixteen.

Focus = meaningful breaks. Work hard in working hours, so your break is an actual break.

So, what do you focus on? Important things. And what are these important things? It's your own definition, based on your life's goal. That's your ruler again. Focus also relates to building a system where you can focus on the individual steps. Hence, discipline. I'll get back to that.

Act, don't just keep in you head

Actions project your future, not knowledge and intention.

Be aware. Reason out, then act accordingly. Be solution-oriented. Something is wrong? Ask. Be pragmatic. Live deliberately. But, above all, do it with wisdom and virtue.

How to act? Follow a simple cycle:

1. Do it now. This is the most important. Don't think about perfection. You'll make mistakes. Don't overthink, because thinking leads to procrastination.
2. Do it right. Then try to improve. Organize. Ask what went wrong.
3. Do it better. Master it.

It applies to basically everything. Life. Chores. Career. Tasks. In short: make it work → improve → make it better.

James Clear has a line that fits: "Find a way to play the game that ensures you get a lot of shots." This prevents you from putting all your effort and fortune into one chance. It promotes gradual improvement. It also lets you be strategic. You design your environment in a way you can recover from failures, hence growing.

Discipline is a system

Discipline is freedom. You have control of yourself, and that is joyful and meaningful in itself.

Now, discipline isn't in our DNA. So, organize your environment. Make it easier to do things. Want to exercise? Schedule it. Put the equipment in the same spot. Make it accessible and easy to wear.

Motivation is the byproduct of discipline, not the spark to start acting.

For me, discipline is:

• Continuity. One chain broken? Continue forging the next.
• A process or system, not an endpoint.
• The willingness to learn.

Where I push back

A common take on discipline is to stay consistent, even if it's just doing enough. For example, it's better to exercise moderately for years than intensely for a month then quit.

But, what if you aim to be disciplined in the standard you want? Then, create a system that lets you be consistent with it, especially on hard days. Take exercise. Why not exercise based on what you need than just consistency? If you need to build muscle in the most efficient way, that requires hard-core practice. Create a system for that. Then apply the same cycle: make it work → improve → make it better.

For me, consistency = aiming to improve. Made a mistake? Yield to improvement instead of self-sabotage.

Calm confidence vs ego

Calm confidence:

• Has a growth mindset.
• Doesn't aim to dominate.
• Knows all actions are for improving.
• Tends to listen more.
• Isn't hungry for validation. It's grounded in principle and virtue.

Ego is the opposite. It's unstable and constantly needs validation. Got critique? Ego views it as an attack.

So, be confident and clear when speaking as if you're right, and listen as if you're wrong.

Why speak like you're right? Because a Stoic acts on reason. You express an idea to enlighten, hence you articulate it properly. This also takes courage.

Why listen like you're wrong? Because truth matters more than pride, and listening this way requires emotional discipline. If you feel defensive and impatient with an opposing view, pause. Then tell yourself:

I value truth over my pride. I can be wrong. Let me hear this out.

I learned a version of this in June 2024, at a Theoretical Driving Course. When I enrolled, they already took my personal information, including my full address. Then for the attendance, I was asked to give my address again.

I didn't. I'm careful with my personal information. As you'd expect, the instructor's attention went to me. We had a light and short argument, and the whole class heard it. After that, he kept pointing it out just to prove his point. On the last day, I gave up and provided my address.

What I learned: reason out your belief before acting on it. Question it. Prove it wrong. When you've built that foundation, no one, not even any situation, can easily shake it. Of course, don't be arrogant. Understand people's point of view, and see if they prove your belief wrong. That's how you improve.

Failure is for growth, not for glorifying

Failure = growth. Mourn. Feel disappointed. But, eventually, analyze it to learn.

Important note: Stoicism teaches you to be resilient, not to glorify failure.

Focusing on solutions than problems is easier to say than do. Before you can learn from a failure, you need to breathe. When you mess up, you're likely too emotional to think. You may believe you're acting rationally, but in reality, emotion has taken over.

It might sound silly, but I realized this deep within me through Minecraft. I play it to allow me to think. I had my most valuable tools: top enchants on my sword, pickaxe, and bow. I died in the Nether. I was trying to calm myself, but I didn't give myself even a brief moment. So, I went back for the tools and ended up losing more resources, like tons of iron. I died multiple times until I realized I was just acting on emotion.

So, don't cry over spilled milk. Figure out how not to spill next time, or how to clean it up better.

A few more things I hold on to:

Seek experience, then reflect. Without reflection, it's just a situation that went by. When you reflect, you gain wisdom, which naturally gives you confidence (courage), likely leading to success. But, confidence ≠ success automatically. There are setbacks and unfortunate events. Despite this, upholding your virtue in handling them is the success itself.

Success and failure aren't black and white. You failed? Not the end of the world. You succeeded? Only in that context, not as a whole, especially if you ignored virtue. Evaluate with nuance and focus on continuing progress.

Define your goal first. To avoid stalling, assess if it's actually what you want. Your goal is where your assessments come from. Just because you feel discomfort in something doesn't mean you want to grow in it. That's naive. Be intentional.

Grow internally. Stoicism targets internal growth, not external things like output and numbers. Internal growth is life's fundamental. Get it right, and whatever you do, you'll do it right.

Change it, accept it, or leave

Have a positive outlook in any circumstance, whether it's positive or not. For me, a positive outlook is basically one aligned with growth.

Naval Ravikant's framework fits here. Change what's within your control. Accept what isn't. Or remove yourself from the situation if neither serves you.

As the saying goes:

Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean.

Meaning, if you won't act on something fixable, you lose the right to complain about it.

How do you decide between the three? Base it on your virtue, what matters to you. If it's outside of that, leave it or ignore it. Either way, the point is to act. Make the decision.

Still figuring out

There's also the idea of "unbecoming": letting go of the excess to find your true self. How? I don't have the whole answer yet. But I believe aiming for Stoic virtue will help me remove the excess. Part of being virtuous is not letting other people's opinions shape what I want.

I'll close with a Stoic line:

Don't teach your philosophy. Embody it.

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Some of these ideas came from reading Addy Osmani's The Stoic Mind.