DEV Community

loading...
Heroku

what is Agile? Wrong answers only

nocnica profile image Nočnica Fee ・1 min read

Agile is a product you buy in a cardboard box on the checkout line at Fry's Electronics.

Agile takes at least four years to show real results.

Agile is having 30 developers do stand-up one at a time.

Tell me your worst definitions of Agile in the comments.

Discussion (12)

pic
Editor guide
Collapse
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

If you say its name out loud you will have 20 consultants selling you 10 kilos of Agile each

Collapse
nocnica profile image
Nočnica Fee Author

now I want to pronounce 'agile' like 'fussily'

Collapse
pdesjardins90 profile image
Philippe Desjardins

A nice lexicon of things to say while working at Big Corp to cover the the fact that you're still using waterfall

..oh wait you said wrong answers, sorry

Collapse
fcrozetta profile image
Fernando Crozetta

it's a car. i mean... it's not a wrong answer, but it's wrong

Collapse
nocnica profile image
Nočnica Fee Author

[me on a test drive] where's the kanban board

Collapse
duncansamuelgeorgefreeman profile image
duncansamuelgeorgefreeman

It’s taking action with little to no planning or analysis. This is a disturbingly popular interpretation in some organizations that are starting the transition from waterfall.

Collapse
sunitk profile image
Sunit Katkar • Edited

It makes management feel good that they are following a industry hot trend. It creates jobs for lot of people whose only job is to have lots of meetings, create release cycles which are not realistic and in general not allow development team to properly deliver anything other than trivial updates .

Collapse
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

The way to dazzle your customers by delivering thrice the work in half the time

Collapse
moopet profile image
Ben Sinclair

What you thought it was last week.

Collapse
valeriavg profile image
Valeria

Agile is changing your tasks and priorities constantly with no planning ahead

Collapse
sunitk profile image
Sunit Katkar

Waste of many man hours so that management can feel good about the latest shiny new toy

Collapse
mrthkc profile image
mrthkc • Edited

Kind of sports that's making people exhausted while sitting behind the keyboard. You can feel the goal when you reach to Friday with 'done' state tasks.