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Confessions of a Developer.

inidaname profile image Hassan Sani Originally published at Medium on ・3 min read

TLDR: I’m about to marry a woman I don’t Love.

If you are my fiance and you are reading this, I’m sorry I’m cheating on you. Wait, it not what you think, truly it not you, it me.

Okay let’s skip the it not what you think story.

Recently, I received a call telling me that my wedding date has been fixed. Lately I'm having some scary nightmares, you can call it cold feet but that’s not what this is about.

Pic Credit: PASTEBIN

Now let’s get down to Business

I know, most (if not all) developers are guilty of this.

On a new Windows PC, I would open up Edge download Mozilla, open up Mozilla and lastly download Chrome. Everything else happens on Chrome.

Now the story

In our relationship, my Fiance is not the Mozilla, she is practically Microsoft Edge.

I understand that the one important thing most relationships need is understanding then attention, so most times when we get to the conversations part where she asks:

Are you even listening to me?

And I will be like:

Truth be told, I wasn’t.

One particular thing she always complain about is my lack of phone calls it always; ‘You don’t call,’ she is right because the most frequent calls I do… are function calls. I have been through 3 weeks without a cell phone and I didn’t even feel like I needed it.

And when we are not fighting about calls it about call-backs. As a JavaScript developer, this is how I define callbacks: Function from a function, once we were in a serious fight and she yelled, ‘You don’t even do callbacks!!!.’ So I sent her the picture below.

She thought it was cute, which ended the fight but I was just trying to prove that I do callback. I’m a Node.js Developer, what else do I do if not callbacks?

There was this time she gave me a surprised visit, wearing a shirt that had “ NO LIMIT ” written boldly just below her chin down to her tummy, this sparked up a solution to a bug I was facing, I ran back to my PC, fixed the bug and started screaming ‘I love this..! I love this..! I love this..!’ Well, I spent the next few hours explaining which it is I love more.

By now you should have an idea of who the second woman in my life is.

Anyways this is just me saying, “I Love them… both”.

I told you, it not what you think. Now you believe me when I say ‘it not you, it is really me’.

When I’m silent, I am probably thinking of why my app worked this morning and refused to work the night before.

An advice : if you hear me screaming in the middle of the night please don’t call the cops or you see me fighting myself on the street, it really not your fault and trust me do not recommend any doctor. I know my prescriptions.

My prescription look something like this, with more. Pic Credit: Crunchify

And sincerely, if you are reading this, I want you to know that you are my TypeScript, your smile is the Babel to everything I do and your voice on/off the phone is my Google’s V8 engine. I’m just some beautiful Angular App hosted on GitHub Pages.

PS: You can google the words you don’t understand.

Thank You for understanding…!

And oh if you ever feel like you are adding up weights, I know some simple tricks, you don’t even need the gym.

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kingo profile image
kingoftwo

Lol...brilliant!