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I think I will leave my job, give me a advice.

mateus_vahl profile image Mateus Vahl Updated on ・1 min read

Hi, Give your thoughts for an young man:

Over the past months I got slowly involved in a huge project...and as the time pass, I'm getting more and more stressed(seriously) with daily work(for number of reasons).
I was pretty happy before, the kind of person that smiles at monday 8am, but now, I wake-up already stressed, thinking about another day of work 😟.
I love my career, but I'm getting sad as each day passes, feeling that a I can't handle this current situation anymore for healthy reasons.

I was wondering if anyone have faced a similar situation and if has something to say about it,
let's talk 😶

Update:
Hey all, it's been a while since this post, so let me tell you what happen:

I thought for about one week and decide to left my job, Was a hard but necessary decision, I had to work for one more month before I leave...

I took a time to relax and think about what I really wanted...After that I start to looking for remote work and found a very nice company, we did a few interviews and it's been two weeks since I've started, so far, I'm super happy and excited!

For those who are in similar situation: take a time to yourself and think what you really want, ask yourself if you happy...And if anyone wants to have a conversation, hit with a message.

Discussion (32)

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randysims profile image
randysims

I got some very good advice once from my mother-in-law. She says if you don't like your job, look for another one. One of two things will happen: It will be a good experience and make you feel better about what you are doing, or you will find another job. Either way, it's a win-win. She told me this because I said something similar to this to her. I was in a project that had me so stressed all the time. Just looking around at other jobs helped me feel better.
Another big thing to do is to reach out to others around you. You need to talk to your team mates or management. Get real, swallow your pride, and tell people what kind of problems you're having.
Good luck! I've been there; one way or another things will get better.

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drbearhands profile image
DrBearhands

A little over a year ago I left a job because I noticed it was causing me increasing amounts of stress. It was nobody's fault in particular but that's just how things were. The evening after I told my boss I would be leaving the company I was dancing almost uncontrollably (and I'm no dancer).

That said, leaving without a good plan had left me in a very awkward position for finding new employment. Generally speaking people are more likely to hire you if they don't consider you unemployed (so either working, studying or similar). I Also didn't really know how to show off my capabilities, so recruiters would often low-ball me.

Luckily I'd left on good terms and some work from my previous employer still came my way while I was searching.

So my advice is: leave if you want, it can be really good for you, but make a plan, and do not burn any bridges.

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

I've definitely felt this way at times.

I'd say this: If you feel like you can bring this up with your management/co-workers and they will help work through it with you, it might be possible to stay.

If this doesn't even seem like they'd be compassionate towards your very legitimate issues, then you probably don't have a lot of great longterm reasons to stay.

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Matt Graham

On leaving the job: tread carefully. Have a plan for the best and the worst outcomes. I left a good job because I was working to create my own digital agency with 2 partners whose end goal was very different from mine (they wanted a side gig, I wanted it full time; which meant our dedication and money targets were vastly different). I thought all was wine and roses for almost a year until the rug was pulled out from under me. I had to go find a job, which led to a string of bad long-term contracts (for various reasons) and now I’m back to square one: going freelance, burnt out, and not saying no to work because I’m afraid of not bringing in enough money.

I have many regrets from the past 3 years, but it all stems from quitting that one job, thinking the grass was greener on the other side. It wasn’t. All that said, I’m working to make the best of my situation. Be sure you’re doing the same, whether that’s finding another job or making changes where you are.

I’m pulling for ya, we’re all in this together

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frankfont profile image
Frank Font

Kudos to you. You took a chance on something exciting and learned some important things about goal alignment with the people you depend on. Its been some time since your post, hope you are in a better place now.

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csuszka profile image
csuszka

Yes, it happened to me, and I'm sorry it happened to you as well.
As a process engineer I worked on maintenance optimization of huge machines. It involved decisions that impacted the lives (at work and at home) of 800 people, and I worked long hours even on weekends.
From a cheerful person I quickly turned into stress walking on two feet, and at the end it broke my health. (Doctors worked more than a year on making me healthy again.)
I didn't get any support from the management, so I quit.
I have a new job, and a really humane boss, and really like where I am now, this is why I'm saying this:
If you bring the issues up and they can't offer something that would help you, I think you should leave them, there will be a better place waiting for you!

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courier10pt profile image
Bob van Hoove

Sorry to hear that.. Is there anyone who could help alleviate your situation? Maybe a manager that you're comfortable with? You could also consult with a doctor, stress does affect your health. A 2-3 week break can be a good way to recuperate for a bit in the short term. Switching jobs could be the right move if you can't change the environment. But really, you're the best person to decide. Good luck!

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mateus_vahl profile image
Mateus Vahl Author • Edited

I have a doctor appointment next week....I've seen other friends in similar situation, this is why I'm still thinking if I should get a 1~2 week break or definitively leave.

Thanks for your advice!

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Kalaiarasan Pushpanathan

You have got all the advice you want here. Let me add one.

  • Take few days or a week off from work.
  • Try quiting or reducing the social media during that vacation.
  • Spend time doing any random things which could be as simple as spending time with your friends or family.
  • Rethink about your question after the vacation.

Things will get lot clearer.

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d1p profile image
Debashis Dip

I actually faced that kind of situation a couple of months back.
It burned me down, to be honest. This kind of work environment sucks.
If you think this job it hurting you down and not teaching you anything then leave it. Otherwise, you can change your viewpoint of thoughts.

Set a reasonable goal for each day which will satisfy your company and also keep you in a healthy mindset.

I came to find this in a hard way.
There will always be some important project that will bring some glory or whatever to the company. Just do your job properly, Try to give your 100%. Nothing is more important than someone's own health.

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scott hutchinson

I have many years experience in this , Having worked at Samsung , startups , enterprises , freelancing , contractor I can tell you that sometimes discomfort is good for us developers . To me getting out of our comfort zone helps if nothing else to realize what a blessing it is to have a place that we just love going to every day . The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence sometimes . No one gets as frustrated as me when companies do things bass ackwards but having that experience will help you manage discomfort .

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Ivan Šarić

Hi,

sorry to hear about your troubles. I was in a simmilar situation at the end of last year.
What I did was, I took a two-week brake and sorted my situation out in my head.
After the two weeks ended and I still felt unhappy, I resigned. I didn't even line up a new job. I just knew I didn't want my current one.
As luck would have it, the company still owed me some vacation time so I spend an additional two weeks prior to the end of the contract on vacation.
During this time another collegue suggested a new job for me and I started working soon after the termination of the previous contract.
I would highlight one thing : If you are burned out, it takes time to recover. It took a couple of months working on the new job (which was very easy-going) to stop waking up in the morning without a feeling of panic and dread.
Be kind to yourself and trust yourself.

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Slavius

Hi,

have you tried to objectively analyze what's the root cause of your dissatisfaction?

What are those numerous reasons? Try to write them down on a piece of paper.

I am a difficult person but I often find myself in that kind of self-reflecting phase where I analyze current situation and what it does to me. I have quit few jobs because I felt unconfortable and stressed but it wasn't the problem of the job or the people.
I realized that corporate environment with strict rules is nothing for me. There is corporate environment in many organizations and I learned to recognize it and avoid it, for my own good sake.

In other situations there is a person or a bunch of them that make your job stressfull. In that case, if you really like the job or you need it try to avoid that people or play their game and make the job work for you. Plan a strategy to always have an answer to their questions or a question/advice/concert that will make them leave you alone for as long as possible to enjoy your job.

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mateus_vahl profile image
Mateus Vahl Author • Edited

Hey,
Yes I have writing everything down and discussed with my supervisor. The problem is that I have more work that one person can handle, I've predicted this situation and alerted everyone before this project began, but I got ignored.

I'm still in this phase of analyzing the my options and what I really want, questioning myself if leave is really the solution, or if I should try to relax and do what is in my reach.

Thanks for your advice!

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dpalyov profile image
Dimitar Palyov

I was in the same situation a month ago on my previous job. At some point work became overwhelming and started to slowly tear me down. My advice - search for another job. Its not a guarantee things would be better but at least its a fresh start.

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moopet profile image
Ben Sinclair

Yes.

I've felt this at two jobs now. One is the role I'm currently in, and one was a few jobs back.
I've felt that I've been turning from the sort of person who likes helping people out and working on my own projects to the office grump who has nothing good to say anymore.

It's not necessarily you nor necessarily your job. If you're not a good fit, it's ok to think about moving on. Unless you're stuck because you need the money and there's nowhere else, you always have a choice. If it's the right time to move on, just move on. Don't feel bad about it - your company won't feel bad about it beyond the time it takes to source a replacement and get them up to speed.

Not everyone can find a vocation, and it's totally ok to want to change your role in the world. I'm pretty sure we all feel like this from time to time.

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Frank Carr

Think about what is stressing you out and can it be changed or modified. Is it likely the same situation will be present at another job?

For example, if keeping up with an aggressive schedule is stressing you out, look for work where this won't be as big a factor. If a long commute is stressing you out, look for work closer by or telecommute only opportunities.

Many of these adjustments might be possible within your current job. However, things like toxic, bullying, co-workers or management might mean a change in scenery is long overdue.

One caution I would give is that you have to be careful not to jump from the proverbial pot into the fire. Sometimes we think moving on might be the thing to do, only to find the situation is worse after the change. I've done this twice myself. Carefully evaluate the situation and make sure your needs will be addressed by the change. Don't change for the sake of change.

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lozadaomr profile image
Omar Lozada

I've been in a similar situation.

Like what others have mentioned maybe try reaching out to your team or team lead maybe you can work something out.

If the you still feel the same and think about leaving your job. What I learned from my last job was to get every document you need. Just in case some dispute happens when you leave your current job.

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barakplasma profile image
Michael Salaverry

If you feel that way, it may be time to move on, or change your situation in the company dramatically.
Also, check this out:
80000hours.org/2018/08/randomised-...

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ducdev profile image
Duc Le

Sorry for that situation, I can recommend you to have a trip, even a short one. You can refresh your mind, make it clear, then think about your current work and what do you want to achieve in next years. Maybe it can help.

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coreyt355 profile image
Corey

Here are a couple thoughts. I hope they help.

Definitely try to work things out. Take the vacation people are recommending, then come back and try. If there are problems with the processes, team, your environment, etc. Try to suggest some solutions. If you ultimately decide to leave, you'll be able to explain to future prospective employers things you tried to make it better, rather than just get stressed and leave.

I'm not saying you haven't tried, but I have been in this situation before, and I'm always asked what I tried to fix.

Make sure you have things up to date in your resume, GitHub, etc. Start the job search now. Being unemployed is rough, and it makes it even harder to get a new job.

Hopefully some of that helps.

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Mike Miller

You got a case of burn out. Step away from your machine for a few days (or weeks), do some exercise, party, travel, do some crafts, literally anything other than work on the project. It will pass and you get better at spotting the burn out coming and avoiding working yourself over the edge

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ky1e_s profile image
Kyle Stephens

Hi Mateus, I wrote a piece on this a while back. It might help!

When is it time to leave?

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aswathm78 profile image
Aswath KNM

Do they pay you enough ??
If yes, they pay you to handle the stress comes with the job.

Else, Look for a new one that pays well.

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mateus_vahl profile image
Mateus Vahl Author • Edited

I just want my normal life back .^

Thanks for your advice!

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waldemarnt profile image
Waldemar (Waldema)

If your main reason is money, money will be the unique thing you will earn in your career.

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Frank Font

Your post was some years ago. How did it work out?

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mateus_vahl profile image
Mateus Vahl Author

Hey thanks for asking: doing absolutely well, took me two weeks to find a new remote job, it’s been incredible, learning new things, having more time to myself, already travel two times internationally...Best decision of my life.

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frankfont profile image
Frank Font

Terrific!

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asyncawait3 profile image
AsyncAwait

Try meditation. It helped me.

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deepak215216

just ask yourself : Is this the limit of my breaking point or I can solve this without being a problem to myself?