In a blink of an eye, time passes. I had a period in my life where I always thought, what I have is not enough.
I want more.
Consequently, I worked harder, longer, and I didn't notice that my precious time of the moment is passing by, and I didn't enjoy it as I must!
I didn't sleep enough sometimes just because I thought I had to work more to gain more!
It may happen to you, or probably you have even faced it already.
Having so much on your shoulder and feeling pressure for achieving more will result in unhappiness.
When I was initially introduced to "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK," I thought, ok, probably this is another cliche in the genre. I started to learn more about it on Goodreads. I learned so much from the book below to address unpleasantness.
Soon after reading a few reviews, I realized that it's about the time that I had! The book is the one that might help me to become better at handling similar situations and inspiring me to enjoy my life and appreciating what I have.
I read the book within a short time a few years ago, and about a week ago, I started to listen to the book for the second time.
I decided this time to note down what I learned from the book and share it with you.
The first listen that I learned!
You might think, well, who doesn't want more money? Who doesn't want a good car, or a house and so on!
Well, you are absolutely right. Those are valuable. Sometimes these assets come by sacrificing your time without you notice it.
Yes, The PRECIOUS time. Let me give you an example of my life.
Back in 2014-2015, I was trying very hard to earn more money. Thus, I worked harder, day and night, sometime around 16 to 17 hours a day! I had enough money to enjoy my life with my family and be happy, but I chose to be insatiable.
As a result, I earned more money, but I was not happy! I decided to travel less, spend less time with family and friends, and be more isolated for about two years. You see, I wanted more, but it wasn't better for me because I sacrificed my happiness, the best time of my life that could be with my family and friends, and enjoy every second of it. Those times never return. That's why I really regret it, even though I earned more money and became wealthier.
There are many of these examples in my life and probably yours.
The point here is that I could have appreciated what I have and be happier, which could have yielded a better income at the end because I could have been thinking of a better way to earn more! Mental health is a real thing!
Sometimes, you should stop, think and enjoy what you have and try to find another way.
If time goes, it never comes back!
Many of us start to blame others when there is a problem. That's poisonous. I learned that I should be more responsible because this prevents me from thinking better to find a solution to the problem.
Let me elaborate with an example of my real life.
In my issue one, when I was talking about the job interview, it was quite easy to blame my family, child, friend, or even work that stopped me from educating myself to win a job!
What I did, after each failure, I took responsibility instead; I said, this is my problem, I own it, and I have to become better at it! I must find a way to resolve this problem.
Not even a single time, I blamed anyone or anything for my failure; I learned every single time about the process and tried to level up because I took 100% responsibility for what I did wrong.
Manson, in the book, says: "With great responsibility comes great power."
Perhaps the most toxic experience is when I compare myself with someone else! In the era of social media, this is even worse!
It's quite often that I open my Twitter, and I see many of my friends share their amazing works, and unconsciously, my mind tells me that what the F* I am doing then!
I learned that I have to stop this way of thinking! We are very different. If someone is doing something, that doesn't mean I have to do that same thing! Or I have to follow what they have done! In fact, I should be proud of what I have done so far.
Let me be honest with you; authenticity is the key! Enjoy what you have achieved. Be proud of yourself! Definitely, be inspired and encouraged but do not blame yourself.
Manson, in the book, is pointing out The Backwards law which says:
- The pursuit of a positive experience is itself a negative experience
- The acceptance of a negative experience is itself a positive experience. Think about it; This is what actually comparing may affect you! The more you think that someone is rich and you have to become rich, the poorer you feel and the more you want to write articles or want more salary, the less you enjoy what you have written or you have earned.
This doesn't mean you should not try to go to the next level. But it means you should enjoy what you have, plan properly and execute and stay on your mission path; you will finally reach your goals.
When I found what really are my values, I tend to become more comfortable with my life and what I do. I started to enjoy it more.
It is absolutely worth the time to sit with yourself and find out your real values.
Manson, in the book, defines Good values and Bad values.
Good values in his option are
- Socially constructive
Immediate and controllable
Bad values are:
Not immediate and controllable
I found the principles great to start with.
For example, honesty is one of my values. It tends to be a good value because it's something that I have complete control over, and it reflects reality. Others can also benefit from it, even if it's unpleasant.
Now that I found this value, I will know what I should sacrifice for or give a f* for.
It's good to have a shortlist to give a f* about rather than everything around us.
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK" comes with lots of great examples and advice that perhaps every one of us has faced in our real life!
This book helped me think a bit differently about narrowing down things that I have to really care about and, consequently, making my life less miserable. I recommend you either listen or read this book.
That's it for this week.
I'll be gladly read your feedback and like to hear what you think.