It’s been about four months since I joined a startup as a frontend developer. This is my very first real job, and getting here wasn’t easy ,I had to go through a tough, multi-stage competition that lasted almost four months. After winning, I joined the team with a few other developers.
Honestly, this opportunity is amazing… but there’s one thing that’s been bugging me. I just don’t feel satisfied!
Building Amazing Stuff, Yet Feeling Empty!
In these four months, I’ve built some really cool stuff, things I honestly never thought I could pull off. I joined the startup at a time when there were tons of exciting projects going on (and yeah, a fair amount of work pressure too, but that’s fine).
Still, even though I’ve done a lot of things I can be proud of, there are days when I leave the office feeling like I did nothing at all. Like… nothing really meaningful.
Doing vs. Really Understanding
Maybe the main issue is my perfectionism!
So far, I’ve seen two types of developers around me:
1-The fast implementers
These developers can quickly build a feature even if it requires a new library or framework. They’ll skim the docs, search a bit, and get it done. Job complete.
2-The deep learners
These developers need to fully understand the library or framework before implementing it. It takes more time, but afterwards, they have a solid grasp of how everything works.
I’m, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), in the second group. Sure, I could implement things like the first group, just quickly, using docs or AI, but if you asked me afterward if I really know that library, my answer would be no. I managed to deliver a decent project, but I haven’t truly internalized it yet, I just implemented it.
I don’t know if this is a strength or a problem I should fix (people have told me it’s a problem stemming from perfectionism). Either way, I learn a bit slower because I dive deep into concepts.
This becomes trickier when I’m working alongside fast implementers.
Like in my startup, I can’t slow down the team just because I need more time to understand. There are plenty of developers moving quickly, and I can’t hold up the flow. The result? I’ve been building cool features for months… yet I still don’t feel satisfied. It feels like I’m just laying bricks without understanding the bigger picture.
But then, there are days when I leave the office happy and energized, ready to come back the next day!
…These are the days when I finally get the chance to deeply learn something. sometimes something small that others might consider trivial, like console object methods in JavaScript, such as console.count or console.group (but not console.log).
I remember the day I learned a tiny detail about folder structures in React projects from a senior developer, and I even read a bit more about it afterward. After fully understanding it, I felt ten times more energized, I didn’t want to go home and just wanted to keep going!
So, what role does AI play here?
I’m not trying to have a cliché debate about AI, but here’s what I see: AI and chatbots have multiplied the speed of the “fast implementers.” They barely even touch documentation anymore—they just get everything they need with a single prompt.
Of course, I use AI too, especially when I don’t feel like digging through docs. And most of the time, when I want to dive deeper into a topic, AI is really helpful and gives me some good suggestions.
But in my scenario, AI has become a good friend who… unfortunately doesn’t realize it’s also kind of holding their buddy back.
My current fixes for feeling unsatisfied
Honestly, I haven’t found a perfect solution yet (hopefully you have some ideas for me!), but for now, there are a few small things that help improve how I feel.
1-Setting a daily learning task
Most workdays are packed with tasks, but I always pick one learning task the night before that I want to focus on the next day. If the topic is bigger than expected, I split it across a few days.
Examples of tasks I’ve chosen:
- The most important SVG tags
- Best practices for creating a custom hook in React
- How to optimize state management in Redux
- CSS Grid tricks for responsive layouts Completing these tasks helps me step away from that feeling of emptiness.
2-Choosing tasks aligned with my current interests and studies
As I said, there are lots of tasks to do every day. I try to pick ones that match my current interests or topics I’m studying (even if I don’t have time to dive into them fully yet).
If the task isn’t aligned, I end up doing it half-heartedly, leaning on a chatbot, and just implementing things like a “robot” without really understanding. But when the task matches my interests, I can both implement it and actually dive deep into the topic.
At the end of the day, I’ve realized that real satisfaction doesn’t always come from building impressive features, but from truly understanding what you’re working on and continuously learning.
I’m still figuring it out, and I’d love to hear from you: how do you stay motivated and actually feel fulfilled in your work?
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