I used to genuinely love programming.
To me, programming felt like a form of creation — almost like design or art. Back in college, I could spend hours exploring random technologies, building things that were completely useless, just because I wanted to see if I could make them work.
Some of my happiest memories were actually helping classmates with their graduation projects or taking on small freelance jobs. The money was usually tiny, especially by professional standards, but as a college student, being able to make some money on my own felt incredibly rewarding.
But after I started working, something gradually changed.
Programming stopped feeling like something I created and started feeling like a way to make a living.
Day after day, I'm writing business logic. Then more business logic. Then more of the same. There always seems to be another feature to implement, another requirement to deal with, another task waiting in the queue.
And somewhere along the way, I feel like I lost the passion I used to have.
Sometimes I wonder: Was I ever really passionate about programming in the first place? Or was that passion just a product of having more freedom and curiosity when I was younger?
What makes this even more frustrating is that the work doesn't seem to be bringing me much wealth either. I'm spending most of my time doing things that don't make me particularly happy, and I don't feel like I'm getting closer to the kind of financial freedom I imagined.
So lately, I've been feeling pretty lost.
How do you guys deal with this?
How do you separate "programming as a job" from "programming as something you genuinely enjoy"?
And if you've been through something similar, how did you find your way back to that curiosity and excitement you had when you first started coding?
I don't necessarily want to quit my job. I just want to figure out how to feel like myself again.
Top comments (1)
Hoho. Hohohoho.
You can't talk like that, developer!
That invites really bad karma, you know?
You know internet person... if you start talking like that...
You know... maybe...
maybe... karma will send a Barbie face to comment under your article.
Now wouldn't that be weird? Huh?
Yeah that would be weird, right?
Maybe that Barbie will say something stupid, like: do you like puzzles?
And then it will all go south pretty quickly.
So don't talk like this negative way.
Don't be so dark about your life prospects.
Cheer up! It is a cozy corpo job!
Here's something you can do: You can go and take dance classes.
Yeah, strange, quite non-tech, but it actually exists.
People go there to learn: dancin'.
And also: think about the reality of your situation.
Chair, no lions, home office even, pajama ops, all that jazz.
Imagine that in the 1600s.
Kings would fight to have this life.
Clear water, food, even Netflix. Netflix! Think about it!
I mean in the 1600s they had almost no Netflix!
Imagine an era where there was significantly less Netflix!
Like Detroit, or... Greece in ancient times!
So what do people do when they don't have Netflix?
Both Detroitans and Greeks found the same solution:
Bashing eachother with sticks.
That is objectively worse than Netflix, I think.
Well, still better than Stranger Things last season, but that's a low bar I think.
There are better shows.
Imagine if you had a French King guy from 1600s as room mate.
You come home after work to your flat, and King Louis Vuitton there - with a beer belly - would say to you:
Fam, you're blocking Grey's Anatomy! Step a bit more left, I can't see Derek! I love Derek!
And you'd see the joy on that King's royal face.
Because he finally saw Izzie and Derek from Grey's Anatomy, and he's completely attached to the plot like a Trumpian primal drive towards an epistemological Hormuz.
And you'd be standing there thinking:
Well this didn't improve my sadness at all! I'm just facepalming at humanity!
You have a nice life without King Louis Vuitton, believe me!
Life can get really bad.
Enjoy the moments when the waters are still.
Don't rock your boat, Odysseus.
Don't wave your fist at the skies!
Gods are like Captains on pirate ships.
So keep a fine line between friendly banter and mutiny.
You can spin it the other way too:
How do you identify that you have luck occurring?
What are your plans when the insurance company suddenly pays you gold that would make even Midas envious?
What would you do, if they suddenly asked from above:
Ok then. What do you want to do in the Company?
Do you have a pitch in mind?
But even if Lady Luck friendzones you:
You have 8 billion humans to choose from.
Find a girl/boy/they/whatever.
A crying baby will solve all of your boredom, believe me.
I work with Seniors, I know. They are quite loud.
You don't want bad karma, do you?
You don't want a programming puzzle do you?
You don't want to have a Barbie face staring into your eyes, right?
You don't want to become like Bjarne Stroustrup, do you?
Let Bjarne's hair be a cautionary tale to you, young sailor.
You don't want to water your horse too close to Old Tristram, do you?
You don't want to talk to a foreboding Barbie head on dev.to, do you?
You don't want to awaken what was sealed away in first semester, do you?
I wish you clear voyage and a touchgrass sort of clairvoyance!
I'll leave you with a tiny, honest, modest question:
Where would you swipe Bjarne's hair: Left or Right?
P.S.: On Tinder, of course, the Final Frontier... for most tenured professors.