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How do you deal with naysayers? (friends, family, colleagues...doesn't matter)

perigk profile image Periklis Gkolias 惻1 min read

People might try to stop you from progressing, especially if they can't keep up with your progress.

For example, people who have settled in their lives, but might be important to you so their opinion matters. Do you remember that friend who didn't have more ambitions and dreams in his/her life but wanted you don't have to?

How do you handle such behavior, personally?

Discussion

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I don't know if this will help people...but my way of dealing with it is "I just don't care". People told me D&D is for losers, I don't care it's fun. People tried to pressure me to drink alcohol and do drugs, I don't care I have not and I will not do it and I am happy for it. I go my own way and it has brought me success.

At the end of the day you gotta do what is best for you. Hear the advice and opinions of others but don't let it pressure you into doing something that is not who you are or want to be (at least as long as what you want is some sort of success). And if someone is holding you back from being successful and happy then I think changes need to be made to get back on that path.

 

Honestly, I'd say just do other things with them and kind of put yourself in a different zone.

I personally really appreciate hanging out with folks who might try to stop you from progressing in some circumstance, but I try to take it as a chance to unwind myself and chill out.

Anyone overly toxic may need to be someone you cut out of your life, but if it's more run-of-the-mill misalignment take it as a chance to "chill out" in their company and find other folks who feed your ambitious energy a bit more.

 

So you are saying that naysayers are good to hang out casually but in no circumstances discuss targets and progress with them?

 

Ignore and cut off your relationship with them since there's no point in having them to pull you back.

Unless they are relatives just reduce the amount of contact with them is fine I think.

There are always ways to get to know new friends and catch up with family.

 

I deal with this regularly. My family isn't very supportive about me learning how to code and trying to find a job. Lately they are putting pressure on me to quit coding and go back to teaching. When I'm around my extended family, they don't seem impressed with my accomplishments. Last time I was around my extended family, they had no interest in what I had to say and just said "Oh do you get paid?" when I talked about App Academy publishing one of my posts on their blog.

What I do is just ignore them and instead surround myself with people in the tech community. Tech communities have made up for the support I don't get from my family. I rather surround myself with the right people who get what I'm trying to do and help me where I want to go than people who tell me to give up. When I'm around my family I just acknowledge what they say and any bad advice they do offer me (i.e. I once had a relative tell me I don't need a portfolio to find a tech job), but I continue doing what I know is right and what people in my industry advise me to do.