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Dennis Persson
Dennis Persson

Posted on • Originally published at perssondennis.com

What If Animals Could Code...

Okay, here we go again! In the last article in this series you came up with amazingly 40 hilarious comments on the topic celebrities who code. I look forward to see what you geniuses may come up with this time.

So here's today's topic. When YouTube goes down, highly trained monkeys join up to fix the problem as fast as possible. Monkeys may be the only non-human animal that codes, but what would other animals do if they were developers?

YouTube monkey business
I believe them, why would they lie?

Use your imagination and comment funny suggestions of what it could be like to hire an animal as a developer. Here's some suggestions of mine, feel free to reuse the same animals if you want to.

  1. Pandas - would be pandastic programmers!
  2. Snails - would always be working from home
  3. Snakes - do I need to mention Python?
  4. Bugs - I have a feeling they would struggle finding a workplace who wants them
  5. Cows - they are more into hardware, they follow mooooores law
  6. Lions - strong partners for a startup, but expect them to take the lion share of the profit
  7. Sloths - would probably benefit using Copilot
  8. Sheep - may be sheep to hire, but is it worth it?
  9. Cats - wouldn't touch code, they would promote themselves to managers
  10. Pigs - dirty code, but they are actually pretty clever
  11. Moles - they would love to C#
  12. Bats - as long as you are fine with putting your screen upside down, they could maybe be worth hiring
  13. Dogs - would probably be their best. day. ever.
  14. Whales - hire one and you boss will call you in to talk about office expenses

Developer animal meme
I'm sorry Mr. Koala, but you always do the bear minimum of work

 

Top comments (19)

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jordanjlatimer profile image
jordanjlatimer

Cheetahs - Super fast developers that specialize in Swift and Go.

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leonardlaarden profile image
LeonardLaarden

I once tried to hire a horse. Sadly it said neigh 🐴

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baenencalin profile image
Calin Baenen

Was it at least polite enough to add "Tack."?

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leonardlaarden profile image
LeonardLaarden

It was polite, it said tack men nej tack!

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baenencalin profile image
Calin Baenen

Ah, I didn't suggest this because I didn't know if this was valid.
Like in English, is this something one would actually say? Or is this a translation?

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leonardlaarden profile image
LeonardLaarden

We do say that. It's a polite way of saying no.

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perssondennis profile image
Dennis Persson Author

Thanks for reading! I will contintue posting articles in this series. Follow me or the #jokes tag to see more articles like this.

And even better, post a comment that makes someone smile or create a humorous article of your own with the #jokes tag 😃

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mhekel profile image
mhekel • Edited on

not an animal, but funny none the less: Image description

/oops #jokes

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lexiebkm profile image
Alexander B.K.

Guido von Rossum said that the name of Python he picked was not related to any kind of reptiles (the images related to Python really annoys me; I hate it very much). Instead it referred to a figure in a circus called Monty Python. I would like to see the icon/logo of this programming language be replaced by that circus figure.
I like seeing the icon/logo of Go aka Golang Gopher; while ferris in Rust is not really impressive. What about Ant, a build tool for Java ? We can ask James Davidson why he picked the name of his creation.
Sometimes I see elephant is related to PHP.

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michaeltharrington profile image
Michael Tharrington

Unicorns — those devs that are always on, never make mistakes, and endlessly succeed... wait a minute do unicorns even really exist?!

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heatherw profile image
HeatherW

Pandas are super clumsy and leave panda shaped trails of destruction behind them.
While hamsters just power everything by running on their wheels.
What about dragons though? Your fire marshal may not approve of them frequently burning the office down by accident but I am sure their code would be lit.
Octopuses on the other hand are super smart but their suckers might stick to everything even if the extra limbs help them get twice as much done.

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baenencalin profile image
Calin Baenen

As a cat furry I can confidently say the "cats" one is wrong.

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onlyphantom profile image
Samuel Chan

All animals get their office nicknames from the HR, who maintain an updated list of who’s who here:

wiki.ubuntu.com/DevelopmentCodeNames

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lexiebkm profile image
Alexander B.K.

Spider, Monkey.... Netscape (now Mozilla) seems to be impressed by these animals that they named their Javascript engine using these animals names.

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andrewbaisden profile image
Andrew Baisden

Code monkeys are good for doing data entry.

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ayodejii profile image
Isaac Ayodeji Ikusika

cool jokes.
I got one: cats best operating system is linux

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ahmadaiman profile image
Ahmad-Aiman

don't forget python

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mynotifier profile image
myNotifier

I'm pretty sure bugs thrive in every programming language 😅😁

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akkimann profile image
Akhileswar Mannuru (He/Him) • Edited on

JFrog - DevOps

🌚 Browsing with dark mode makes you a better developer by a factor of exactly 40.

It's a scientific fact.