Burnout, fears about AI, and what should engineers do now?

#burnout #programming #ai #discuss

Chapter 0. The Beginning. Who This Article Is For

This article is intended for young developers who are interested in programming, for burned-out developers, friends, colleagues, and simply for anyone passing by who might find this article interesting.

Chapter 1. The Source. Money, Companies, and States

I think all of us are, in one way or another, frightened by upcoming events and changes: wars, corruption, pain, tears, money, and the most pressing of all — AI. It has touched, or is touching, everyone, and we can't stop the development of AI; it is gradually entering our lives from every direction. Some have already changed jobs and professions, some are fighting against AI, and some have embraced it with open arms, but either way, it's worth noting that it's already part of our lives.

This is frightening, it's confusing, but what can we actually do about all of it? Hold on to that question, because it will become the key to my whole long monologue.

Chapter 2. The Foundation. Money, Money, Money, Money Everywhere!

Tell me honestly, are you currently working for a company? Big, small, doesn't matter! What matters is that you're most likely working for someone, aren't you? Now tell me, when you got into IT, why did you decide to go into it? If the reason was a high salary, then this article isn't for you, but if you were interested in it and you like programming, then keep reading)

I started programming back in 2020. Back then I started with Python3, and I enjoyed it. After that I started learning Java, C++, C#, C, JS, Go, Rust, and so on. I made small games with Python Pygame, a bit with Java LibGDX, and finally got acquainted with the basics of OpenGL in C++!

But I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't a "real" programmer, since I'd never worked at a company — and that label I'd hung on myself stuck with me for a long time. Time went on, and I enrolled in university in the Computer Science program(and I'm still studying there), and it seemed like — finally, this is it! I took part in a GameJam, did an internship at a company in my second year, but the feeling that I was doing the wrong thing never left me.

I didn't feel any progress; it seemed to me that I was doing utter nonsense, and I wanted to earn money because I wanted to satisfy my own wants. But at some point I started asking myself: what am I doing wrong?

And after a while I found the answer for myself: I was doing what corporations needed, not what interested me. I had gotten so fixated on coming up with ways to earn money, on money itself, on my own SaaS projects, that I forgot why I'd even started doing this in the first place. I was studying and designing the things that interested business and the state — not the things that interested me. After reaching that conclusion, I reconsidered my goals. Now I don't want to work for some big boss, I don't want to work for money and because of money, I don't want things I'm not interested in forced on me (well, partly) — all I want now is to create my own things, and I don't care what business needs, what the heads of Google, Amazon, or Anthropic think, I don't care what cooler, more "seasoned" developers think (figuratively speaking, of course — sorry if I've offended anyone). So I want to make my own things regardless of who else will find them interesting or need them; first and foremost, I want to make them because I want to.

Chapter 3. Burnout. The Author of This Article Is a Fool and an Idiot

This whole time I've been leading up to another painful topic — burnout. I've experienced it too, and it seemed to me the cause was that I was tired, or worn out, and needed a bit of a break, but somehow my energy never came back.

So I started thinking about why that was — why I was exhausted and couldn't get myself to start anything. And for myself I found the same pattern, or rather, it follows from the previous chapter: I was doing what I needed to do for others, not what I needed for myself. When was the last time you did something simply because it interested you? When was the last time you wrote your own projects just because you liked it and found it interesting to build? When did you last feel that spark in your eyes, that fire in your chest, that passion?)

I haven't felt it in a long while — it's an incredible feeling, when you feel like you can do anything, like an unstoppable machine capable of doing anything, especially when the deadline is close and the adrenaline is pumping)

My point is that I don't think the cause of burnout is being tired of programming in general — it's that we're doing things we don't want to do, or that we're indifferent to. At least, that's the answer I found for myself.

Chapter 4. Creativity. AI — Let's Do Everything by Hand

Throughout this whole article I've been carrying the idea that you can stop working for some big boss and start doing what you actually like — but let's be honest, that's not so simple, and you still need something to live on. I'm not saying you should drop your job here and now — no, I'm talking about priorities: what matters more to you, work or dreams, money or happiness? For myself, I've decided that dreams and happiness come first, and so work and money are secondary things I don't want to chase — which is why I won't stay at work longer than required or do unpaid work, and that's exactly why I want to spend more of my free time on my own projects than on my job.

And since I've already brought up the topic of AI in this article, I should probably finish it, right? :) I used to be against using AI at work; however, now I believe everyone should decide for themselves whether they want to use AI or not — and nobody's stopping you from not using AI in your own personal projects, even if it's required at your job. So if you like using AI, use it; if not, so be it :)

Chapter 5. Conclusions. So What Do We Do With All of This?

All I can really advise is: start making your own things. What matters here is that, first and foremost, it should be interesting to you — regardless of whether anyone else ever sees it. It should bring you joy above all, even if no one but you ever sees it. Understand that fixating on your portfolio, on money, on your job will only make you burn out and become disillusioned with everything faster — especially when you have no experience yet. But speaking of experience — build it from scratch through your own projects, ones that genuinely interest you, whether that's your own programming language, a personal blog website, a SQL parser, an HTTP server, a messenger, a game made with SDL or Raylib, or even a Minecraft mod — anything that interests you. Don't rush to monetize it quickly; that's not what really matters right now (unless, of course, you're having financial trouble — then maybe you should deal with that first, but I'm not entirely sure).

In closing, I want to say that this article is a beginning. It's not perfect, and it even has mistakes, but I believe you have to start somewhere — simply because, after a long while, I wanted to make something that's truly my own, even if no one ever sees this article. I'll be sad, but I'll keep going anyway! In the end — make your own things, reach for the heights, pulsar online!