I am very excited by the prospect of a gender-expansive Women's History Month.
I love being included in things (obviously) and being given any excuse to celebrate existing (of course).
When I came to DEV last year, I was given the prompt for SheCoded and emphatic support to expand the event to fit a more gender-expansive audience. This. Was. Awesome. Together, we moulded the clay into we_coded, expanding into a spectrum of gender to reflect our audience and envisioning a future in which everyone feels included (iconic).
I loved sharing my we_coded post last year but thought I might do a little something different this year.
Some questions I have for you:
- How might we envision searches for liberation as one that liberates us all simultaneously?
- How might we allow for the expansive idea that Womanhood impacts us all? That we are all, in every way, formed by the women around us?
- How might we cling to the principle that no one is free until everyone is free? That we shall celebrate liberation only to the point of remembering that not everyone is yet liberated, that there is still work to be done?
Womanhood, Girlhood, Gender, Nonbinary-ness, and Trans-ness (to me)
I like to think of my version of nonbinary-ness as a mish-mash of genders, though deeply engrained in womanhood nonetheless. Women's History Month to me is a time where I am able to celebrate the women around me, the womanhood that I experienced for a lot of my life, and still experience in a myriad of ways.
Womanhood to me means that I still feel like a girl when I explain to a friend my knack for a bathroom conversation over what hair mask to use after you bleached your hair. When I explain that I always keep extra menstrual products on me for strangers, because no one seems to have them anymore (because everyone has an IUD now!). I feel like a girl when I call a dog on the street beautiful, or get approached by a random child in the grocery store with wide eyes, asking me for help. Girlhood holds my hand when I need advice and is always there with a cup of tea.
Still, I don't feel like a girl. Nonbinary-ness feels like when I realized I forgot how to make do the perfect winged-eyeliner on a friend. Having to decline pleas to do your friend's makeup or hair stings now. I still have a hint, or a memory, of how to perform this quintessential friendship act. But all of the sudden I am forced into the reckoning that I do my makeup and hair maybe once every two weeks now. That I don't perform femininity as often now. I am now unfamiliar with how to do it.
I realized nonbinary-ness to me is a lot of creature-ness. I often equate the way that I see my own gender to a snail. Slug-like, extremely amorphous, potentially sticky, very cute, adorned with special accessories, and perplexing to look at. I had said this even before I learned that most all land snails are hermaphrodites.
I am unsure that I will ever learn what boyhood feels like, but I catch glimpses from time to time, and that also feels like liberation to me.
My Thoughts RE: Women's History Month as a Nonbinary Person (in tech)
In all, I hope that this Women's History Month you may get closer to understanding the ways in which your life is impacted by girlhood. In the words of Olivia Gatwood, we are all teen girls. I hope that in understanding the women, trans, gender-nonforming, two-spirit, and other gender-queer folks around you you are better able to understand yourself. That you always search to understand yourself and others.
I hope that thinking of the lack of women, trans, nonbinary, and two-spirit people in tech lights a fire in you the way it does me. I hope you are as equally confused as I am but also understand deeply the way that the system of tech education is built is maybe not made to support girlhood, trans-ness, and accessibility. The way that a lot of our systems are not built to support life-enriching practices. That we may have to use different tools to rebuild these systems, but it is important to remain optimistic that a better system is possible. That you can help make that system.
I hope you do something to help break down those barriers, even if it is helping a kid with a math problem and making them feel like the smartest person in the world.
More than anything, I hope you move with love, and all that jazz.
Happy WHM,
Rachel
(they/them)
Top comments (5)
As a cisgender hetero lady who is not too fond of makeup, this made me laugh. It shows that femme people fail girlhood no matter what spectrum of womanhood they fall on.
Ever since I've witnessed trans women being mistreated by other cisgender women on Clubhouse(it's a social audio app), I've found myself going by this rule whenever I go to women-centric spaces "If trans women are not welcomed, don't invite me".
Honestly, I find it helpful to just acknowledge that womanhood comes in different forms and to not make life unnecessarily difficult (e.g., being a bigot) just because someone is merely existing.
Thank you so much for sharing your post @rachelfazio! :)
Hey thank you Christine! I truly relate to this "It shows that femme people fail girlhood no matter what spectrum of womanhood they fall on." GOD.
This comment warmed my heart! Have a good day.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and lived experience. I felt cathartic reading and learning, and ruminating on the questions you pose at the beginning. Appreciate you Rachel π
Thank you Jess! Appreciate you as well. :-)
Wow, I've been meaning to come back to your post for days now, so that I could give it the time that it deserves and I'm so glad I finally did!
For one, your writing is unique and fun, but this is also just super relatable. Y'know, no matter our gender, we're all humans and your post has a heckuva lotta humanity in it. π
One of my favorite bits is when you talk about how you relate the way nonbinary-ness feels to creature-ness and specifically the snail, haha. This part was so endearing and fun to read!
And to go to one of your questions:
Reading your perspective about embracing your different traits across the gender spectrum was in a way liberating to me. It was cool to hear how you talk about the different feelings you relate to womanhood and nonbinary-ness. It's inspiring. I'm taking note and not going to shy away from leaning into my feminine side!