How to ask better questions

#testing #programming #productivity #discuss

Do you have a hard time asking questions?

Does it feel like you know there's something you want to know, but don't know exactly how to ask it?

Have you ever asked a question, only to get a vague grunt or oversimplified yes/no?

I found myself in these situations often, frustrated at the end of a project only to find that a few good questions could have surfaced a major issue earlier in our SDLC. So I went on a research kick to see if I could improve my question asking skills. It's taken me years to really take these tips to heart and practice them until they're effortless. In that time I've implemented some great tips and tricks worth sharing that can help you ask better questions too.

Tip #1:

Ask follow up questions as often as possible.

From the linked talk below. . .

"Follow-up questions should stay on one topic and explore it a bit, pushing the conversation past the superficial. These questions are powerful, and even 'magical,' Brooks and John write, because they help the listener feel 'respected and heard,' all but guaranteeing a more meaningful exchange.”

The biggest value I found in always striving to ask follow up questions is it surfaced information I had no idea was being left unsaid. It was surprising both at work as a tester, and in personal relationships how much of other people's stories I was filling in myself, and doing it wrong. By trying to frequently ask follow up questions, I get more of the story and usually that is really helpful context for the conversation.

Tip #2:

Form questions that require open-ended responses, rather than yes/no.

It's hard to think of good questions in the moment, while the other person is speaking and you are listening. I've shortcut things and keep a notebook/pen on hand to build out questions quickly using 1 of 6 starting phrases. These are modeled off of Bloom's Taxonomy

Not every conversation requires you know all of these questions every time. But starting with this list can keep you out of the trap of the yes/no response problem that can come by asking closed-ended questions.

Closed Ended Question starts: Is, Are, Can, Will, Have, Do

Open Ended Question starts: Who, What, Where, When, How, Why

This conversation tip is great for working on things that have a lot of details, but where I discovered it really shined was in social conversations. Asking someone a specific question related to what they were just saying really makes people light up with enthusiasm.

As a very positive side effect, I've observed my empathy has gone up a lot since starting this idea. I discovered I had been zoning out often in personal chats, now I am more engaged.

Tip #3:

Use the power of silence.

Give people the space they need to ingest and consider their response to your question. If you are asking a probing question to something discussed, it's expected this can take a person a few moments to consider. Be sure you don't jump in after the question and keep talking, or there is no space to hear the reply!