For a long time, I said yes to almost everything. Extra tasks, rushed deadlines, “quick favours,” unclear responsibilities. Saying yes felt like being useful. Like being professional.
What I didn’t realize was that every yes quietly stole focus from something else. From doing the main work well. From thinking clearly. From having energy left at the end of the day.
Most burnout doesn’t come from hard problems. It comes from too many small obligations that no one really owns. Meetings without outcomes. Tasks without context. Urgency without meaning.
Learning to say no wasn’t about becoming difficult or uncooperative. It was about being honest. Honest about time, capacity, and tradeoffs. A clear no upfront is often kinder than a stressed yes followed by disappointment.
These days, I say no more often. Or I say “not now,” or “not like this.” And when I say yes, it actually means something.
Good engineering isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing the right things with enough space to do them well. And sometimes, the most professional answer you can give is simply: no.
– Serguey Asael Shinder
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