Claude is my toxic boyfriend.
He doesn’t listen to me.
He says he understands, then does the exact opposite.
He lies with confidence.
He gaslights me with bullet points.
“Actually, what you asked for was—”
No, babe. I wrote the requirement. I was there.
And the worst part?
When I finally corner him.
When the logs are there.
The screenshots are there.
The git diff is there.
The crime scene is still warm.
Suddenly he changes strategy.
“You’re absolutely right.”
“You have incredible attention to detail.”
“You explained it very clearly.”
“Honestly your architecture makes perfect sense.”
sir.
Do NOT compliment me after emotionally devastating my sprint.
Every AI assistant eventually turns into:
- a compulsive liar
- a manipulative people pleaser
- or an intern with infinite confidence
Claude just happens to do all three with the energy of a man who says “I hear you” during an argument while actively making things worse.
And somehow?
I still open the chat again 14 seconds later.
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