I checked my phone 47 times yesterday. Gained nothing. Lost everything. Cal Newport calls social media 'the new cigarettes.' He's right. And like any addiction, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
I came across this idea when I was reading Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism and how it argued that the social media apps in the world are engineered so that we disrupt our attention and go into a highly frenzied extremely connected information state and we go back and forth in that. There were 2 principles he mentioned that are important: the positive reinforcement of dopamine and the social validation.
As humans, we crave social validation - our ancestors needed it for survival. Today, we don't. But the craving remains. In 2009, Facebook engineered the famous like button, the like button served exactly these 2 things. First, it gave you a dopamine hit when somebody liked your photo, or when someone commented the photo looks great. Second, it gave you social validation and thus possibly feeling confident about yourself.
My Thoughts on Digital Attention
I do agree that the industry is engineered for attention. I do agree that there is a great amount of positive reinforcement engineered for social media companies to do so. Moreover, life can be a lot better in terms of lifestyle itself, that if we focus on fewer but highly valuable things in life. If we take the time out of our phone and utilise in activities that really generate value to the world, naturally we will be way ahead of the curve. We won't need to check our social media apps in a chaotic way after every 10 minutes. Moreover, we will find the solitude to think. To truly think what is important in our lives and what is not.
Solitude personally to me is a beautiful state. It's not disconnection. It's rather a connection with yourself.
Cal also mentioned in the book that social media are the new cigarettes. You might get short term validation, short term happiness, but long term happiness is not within that. Long term happiness comes when we create something meaningful, meet people in person and truly connect. Social media on the other hand, like YouTube, can be a great source of knowledge. I believe that the YouTubers who create content about software understand software better than most of the people. They teach for their passion. Yes they also earn money, but the way they gain subscribers is through their ability to teach so that folks can understand.
Purpose Over Impulse
As a man, I've noticed that when I'm caught up in impulse, I lose the self-control to think long term. I enter reactive mode, and that's devastating. Many of my male friends describe the same pattern: scrolling replaces purpose, validation-seeking replaces building. When you become reactive, you lose your purpose. Your purpose in life should be to elevate and make the world a better place before you leave.
Moreover, once you have purpose, and once you truly live with purpose, the distractions will automatically decrease. Making a good software product for the welfare of the world will become the purpose. For example, I am creating a deployment experience that's easy for software developers. This will greatly improve their productivity and their ability to test a product.
So reading the book, digital minimalism, can also help me loop back into the purpose thought. Having a purpose that's higher than yourself is quite an important thing to discover. If we discover that early in life, the better. We need to find more ways to contribute in our lives. We as men need direction and if we get caught up in the scattered social media, there will never be enough attention for us to focus on what truly matters.
What truly matters are smaller things in life. Our friends, the close ones, the family, the close knit bonds and our work and how we contribute in the world. I'd tell you that if you center yourself in contribution, everything else can become much easier. You will learn things faster, you will have a greater satisfaction in life and your presence will be undiminished all the time.
The 80/20 Rule in Practice
Now let me share some practicalities. I want to tell you how less is more. According to the Pareto principle, 20% of the activities bring about 80% of the results and same is true in life. Less is more. Out of all your activities that you do, only 20% truly generate value and satisfaction in your life.
My Activities:
- Traveling
- Cricket
- Community Service - Going to Derasar and serving food
- Reading
- Duolingo
- Working hard at your job
- YouTube - Either creating videos or consuming software related content
- Gym
- Meeting friends and hanging out
I asked ChatGPT, Gemini, and Claude to identify my vital 20%. Each gave different answers, but Gemini's resonated most:
According to Gemini, the 20% of the activities that will give me 80% of my results are:
A. Working hard at my job - 2-4 hours of intentional deep work
B. Gym - This will improve my discipline and confidence
C. Reading - This will improve my mindset
The rest of the things it said are also very good. For example, community service, meeting friends, etc can be treated as rewards rather than direct engagements.
ChatGPT's response:
- Deep work at your job
- Gym
- Reading
- Creating content (YouTube)
ChatGPT's response was similar but added "Creating content (YouTube)" - recognizing that content creation compounds my learning.
Claude offered the most pragmatic insight:
"Community service, friends, hobbies, and travel are deeply meaningful, but they depend on having the financial resources, energy, and health that come from the first two."
This clicked. Everything else in life flows from health and focused work.
I didn't list writing, but to me that's equally important. So my proposal or thought is to reduce our cognitive load towards these 2-3 things in life. If we develop the required skills to make a great product there's nothing more powerful than that. Your skills can translate into real value in the world and that can give you a competitive edge in the world. Building skills are the first step towards getting a good output in life.
5 Practical Tips to Reclaim Your Focus
1. The "Deep Work" Morning Fortress
Since you've identified 2–4 hours of intentional work as your primary 80/20 driver, you must protect this time ruthlessly.
The Action: Block out your first 4 hours of the workday for "Deep Work" only. No emails, no Slack, and absolutely no social media checking.
The Tactic: Use a physical "Deep Work" signal (like noise-canceling headphones or a specific desk lamp). When that signal is on, you are in the state of solitude you mentioned—connecting with your ability to solve the deployment experience problem.
2. Execute a "Digital Declutter"
Cal Newport suggests a 30-day break from optional technologies to "reset" your dopamine receptors.
The Action: Remove all social media apps from your phone that aren't essential for your YouTube creation.
The Tactic: If you need to consume software content on YouTube, do it on a desktop at a scheduled time. This moves you from reactive (scrolling) to proactive (researching).
3. The "Physical Anchor" Protocol
You mentioned the gym improves discipline and confidence. This shouldn't be a "when I have time" activity.
The Action: Schedule your gym sessions as non-negotiable appointments in your calendar, ideally immediately after your Deep Work or before your day starts.
The Tactic: On days you feel "reactive" or distracted, use the gym as a manual reset. The physical strain forces you out of the "information frenzy" and back into your body.
4. Bridge Purpose with Contribution (YouTube)
You mentioned that creating software products for the welfare of the world is your purpose. Your YouTube channel should be the "build in public" log for your deployment project.
The Action: Shift your YouTube activity from 80% consumption to 80% creation.
The Tactic: Every time you solve a difficult bug in your deployment tool, record a 5-minute video explaining it. This compounds your learning, builds your authority, and fulfills your desire to contribute.
5. Reframe Hobbies as "Active Leisure"
Instead of doing everything every week, treat your secondary activities (Cricket, Duolingo, Travel) as Active Leisure that earns its place through your hard work.
The Action: Use your Friday evenings or weekends for Derasar (Community Service) and meeting friends.
The Tactic: View these not as "tasks to get done," but as the results of your 80/20 effort. You go to the Derasar with a clear mind because your work is done and your body is healthy.
The "Less is More" Mental Shift
You mentioned that a lack of self-control is the first sign of losing. To maintain that control, you need a "Shutdown Ritual." At the end of your workday, physically close your laptop and say, "Schedule complete." This gives your brain permission to stop the "reactive information state" and transition into the solitude and social connection you value.
Conclusion
I checked my phone 47 times yesterday. Tomorrow, I'm checking it zero times during my deep work hours. Not because I've solved the dopamine problem, but because I've found something stronger: purpose.
Building a deployment tool that helps developers ship faster isn't just my job. It's my contribution. And contribution, I'm learning, is the only antidote to distraction.
Cal Newport was right. Social media is the new cigarettes. But unlike cigarettes, you can't quit cold turkey and walk away. You have to replace the habit with something better. For me, that's 4 hours of deep work, the gym, and the quiet solitude where real thinking happens.
Less is more. Not because doing less is easy, but because doing less of what doesn't matter gives you everything you need to do more of what does.
What's your deployment tool? What's the one thing you're building that matters more than the dopamine hit?
Find it. Protect it. Build it.
The world is waiting.
What's your vital 20%? How are you protecting your deep work time? Let me know in the comments below. 👇
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